FSW Chapter 10

Sunset

Warm sunlight and gentle air. Weather she'd normally welcome. But Nishina weakly hid herself beneath a tree.

Perhaps because the weather was good, her head ached even more. Clutching her throbbing skull, she collapsed carelessly onto the grass. Even the fresh grass scent couldn't easily clear her mind. This was all because she hadn't slept properly.

After yesterday's meeting ended, her head had been a mess with worry and confusion. She knew better than anyone that war wouldn't break out immediately. But she also knew that in two years, war would absolutely occur.

Even including her recovered memories, she had no experience with war. But she'd learned about it to the point of exhaustion. Looking back through history, nothing could be explained without including war.

The conclusion she'd drawn from reading history books was singular: war's end was nothing but loss. Losing loved ones, losing homes, ultimately even losing one's own life—that was war.

'If necessary, I am prepared to shoulder responsibility at any time.'

She'd spoken boldly about taking responsibility. Rights came with duties. Born into imperial family, she'd always been prepared to take responsibility.

But did methods for shouldering their tragedy even exist? Reviving the dead was impossible even if the spirits' king arrived, let alone a monarch.

Carlos would say that for the benefit of the greatest number, the sacrifice of the few was necessary. But the problem was that the few were specifically designated. Those who suffered most were the powerless. Profit built on forced sacrifice—that wasn't victory even if you won.

At least, that's what Nishina thought.

She wasn't bringing up trivial morality. She'd simply thought from the reverse position.

If Aiden were injured in war, if she lost him—even if they grasped victory, she'd be more miserable and sad than a princess of a ruined nation. She was already this anxious even knowing he'd return safely; she couldn't even imagine the hearts of those who sent family to the battlefield without promises or guarantees.

She'd spent the night steeped in anxiety, thinking of ways to prevent it. But when the other side created the conflict, there was no helping it.

As she muttered the worst curse she knew at the faceless emperor of another empire, someone's shadow suddenly intruded into her vision.

She blinked her eyes, stiff with fatigue, with difficulty. Even through that, she met vivid red eyes.

"I greet Your Imperial Highness."

"It's fine if you're late, so you don't need to rush like this every time."

He must have run straight here after finishing morning training—sweat beaded in fine droplets. Nishina reflexively reached out and pulled his wrist toward her. Then she carefully wiped his forehead with her sleeve as he bent at the waist, caught off guard.

His forehead, forcibly revealed, was white as a child's. Perhaps because of that, a faint scar immediately caught her eye. Judging by how faded it was, it must have been made long ago. Her hand stopped abruptly at the incongruous mark. When she slowly released him, he straightened his back as if he'd been waiting.

'Oh, did I act too familiar?'

Worry struck belatedly at his oddly stiffened expression. She'd done this so often with Hilton that she hadn't even considered the other person might be uncomfortable.

To think rational thought was impossible to this degree.

This was all a disaster brought on by sleep deprivation. Clicking her tongue at herself, Nishina cautiously raised her head.

She'd meant to apologize. But the moment she discovered his excessively reddened ears, Nishina laughed softly instead of apologizing.

His agitation grew at her smiling face. For his sake as he floundered helplessly, Nishina composed her expression and spoke with feigned nonchalance.

"You said you have afternoon training too, so shall we start quickly?"

"...It would be better to rest a bit first."

Concern mixed into the gaze that returned.

She'd thought she'd put considerable effort into her voice. Had her unusual state shown? Nishina rubbed beneath her dark-circled eyes and released a faint sigh.

"Then let's just have a snack before starting."

As she spoke and patted the spot beside her, he sat down gracefully without complaint.

Even in her distracted state, she hadn't forgotten the snack for him. Today's gift was macarons prepared in six different flavors. She'd thought he'd eagerly eat them while admiring their colorful appearance. Unexpectedly, though he'd received them, he only hesitated without touching them.

"Your Highness..."

When she wondered what the problem was, he seemed concerned that she had no portion. Suppressing the urge to pat his admirable head, she spoke brazenly.

"I already ate, so I'm fine. Please try them quickly."

She'd even skipped lunch—there was no way she'd managed a snack. But she had no appetite anyway. When she gestured as if urging him, he finally picked up a macaron.

She propped her chin on her knees and stared at him intently. Pleased with the sweet macaron, his chewing cheeks gradually turned pink.

Every time she watched him eat dessert, she thought this, but he was seriously adorable. Finally looking his actual age, perhaps.

His usual expressionless self looked like he'd lived through everything the world had to offer. That was probably because he'd gone through all manner of hardships, but even so, he was still young.

Thinking that an even younger child had been pushed to the conflict zone made her chest—not her head—ache right in the center.

They'd said even sixteen-year-old Aiden and fourteen-year-old her were too young to send to the battlefield. Yet he'd been sent to war at the tender age of thirteen. Gripping a sword as tall as himself, shouldering that weight with hundreds of soldiers at his back.

"I heard you participated in the border conflict two years ago."

The moment the bleak voice escaped, he flinched and turned his head. The gaze whose name she couldn't identify held a temperature as low as usual.

Should she not have brought it up?

It certainly wouldn't have been a good memory. She hadn't meant to cause him pain.

Nishina's mouth clamped shut. Separate from her self-reproach, he calmly nodded.

After hesitating for a long moment, Nishina spoke in a tone that had grown considerably more careful.

"There's one thing I'd like to ask, if that's all right? Of course, if you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to."

"It's fine."

Easily granting permission, he seemed neither displeased nor uncomfortable. An attitude like discussing someone else's story.

"Were the plunderers all ordinary citizens?"

Two years ago, when the conflict began, the Wind Empire had claimed the plunderers were individual wrongdoers unrelated to the nation's will. But no one believed those words. Everyone was certain they were soldiers sent to test the invasion.

"Most were trained individuals."

"I thought so."

Though she'd expected it, receiving confirmation left her feeling troubled. Well, there was no way ordinary citizens without proper weapons could have held out that long against the Empire's knights and mercenaries.

"However, some ordinary citizens who'd transformed into plunderers from starvation were mixed in as well."

Lavis didn't continue further, but she could guess the many things contained in that silence. He must have witnessed many unbearable atrocities. Yet he remained calm as ever in recollection.

"Wasn't it difficult?"

The question escaped impulsively. He wore an expression suggesting he didn't understand the question's meaning.

Nishina smiled bitterly and shook her head.

"Never mind."

She'd asked the obvious. Of course it couldn't have been all right.

It wasn't that he was unaffected—the pain had simply become natural like a habit.

Nishina bit her lip at the ache in her chest. What stabbed her heart was pity. In the war that would break out in two years, Lavis—he too would participate. She pitied him for being driven back to that agonizing place.

And simultaneously, she was angry. At everything that created this situation. Even at the monarchs. The monarch who harmed others to protect, and the monarch who accepted losses to protect. She couldn't tell which was right.

But what was certain was that all the responsibility fell not to them who should bear the duty, but to people like Lavis.

She lowered her head under the powerlessness that resembled guilt. When Nishina maintained her silence, Lavis showed a considering expression for a moment before opening his lips.

"The soldiers were certainly suffering, but they said they took pride in protecting those they loved."

"..."

The question about whether it had been difficult was directed at him, but the answer that returned excluded his own feelings. It wasn't sacrifice forced unilaterally, but their own choice. So there was no need to feel guilt.

Though he probably hadn't offered the words as comfort, to Nishina they sounded exactly like that.

Finally raising her head, Nishina lifted the corners of her mouth faintly.

People who wagered themselves to protect, and what she should do, what she could do, to protect such people.

Somehow she felt as if she'd dimly glimpsed the answer sheet.

She closed her eyes as if a lead weight rested on them. With sight blocked, the scent of wind seeped deep. The warm spring sun touched her skin belatedly.

A perfect spring day.

Nishina could finally think that.

A gentle scent lingered at her nose. The smell of laundry holding sunlight, perhaps. When she buried her face in the pleasant fragrance, she felt a startled presence.

The small ripple shattered her thinned sleep in an instant. She slowly pushed up her eyelids.

The first thing captured in her drowsiness-soaked vision was someone's hand. As if creating a hand-shadow, the hand with its back to the sun hovered at a distance of about two hand-spans.

She'd definitely been beneath the tree's shade. Why a hand-shadow?

Raising her head with a puzzled gaze, she immediately saw Lavis offering his shoulder. Close enough to clearly see his eyelids trembling.

That alone was surprising enough, but more surprising was his condition.

Red cheeks, red ears, red hair...

Moving her dazed eyes slowly, she suddenly realized. It wasn't that he was red—the entire world was red.

Tree shade, nothing. Confirming the sunset that had long since tilted to soak her knees, Nishina's face turned deathly pale.

Sleep fled completely.

She'd definitely planned to close her eyes just briefly, only while he ate his snack, but she must have dozed off.

She'd only closed and opened her eyes—why had it become evening!

When Nishina bolted upright from where she'd been leaning against him, his hand that had been creating shade all this time slowly lowered.

"Sir, Sir Russell."

"Yes."

"I'm asking just in case, but surely the sun isn't setting right now?"

"It is."

"That's impossible!"

She'd tried denying reality, but his answer was thoroughly firm. Facing eyes whose strong color persisted even dyed by sunset, an important fact suddenly came to mind.

She definitely knew he had afternoon training after this.

"Then what about afternoon training! Weren't you late?"

"It's fine."

"How is it fine! You should have woken me! No, that's not it—haa, I'm so sorry. I didn't sleep well last night..."

When she spoke sullenly, he even shook his head and apologized instead.

"I thought about escorting you to the palace, but I couldn't presume to touch you... I apologize."

"I'm the one who should apologize!"

She'd had a lesson with Carlos in the afternoon. Missing that didn't matter at all, but his absence from training was a major problem. She knew knights valued promises as much as hierarchy. They were especially strict with apprentice knights.

"You'll be punished, won't you?"

Lavis silently averted his gaze slightly, but it was answer enough.

"If I go with you and explain...!"

"It's truly fine."

Unlike the floundering Nishina, he remained calm. Rather, at his careful, consoling touch, Nishina buried her face in both hands.

Aah, if only she could evaporate right now.

She wished desperately, but regrettably, her body disappearing didn't occur.