FSW Chapter 17

Confusion

Her favorite season was winter, but she also loved the season of life that arrived after winter's end.

If winter was beauty blooming from monotony, spring was a harmony woven from soft colors.

Willows lush with green foliage, azure sky. Upon the tranquil pond, ripples scattered light like scattered jewels.

Each time the breeze stirred, the drooping branches grew busy as though shaking back wet hair. Even the leaves falling like rain melted into the scene like a painting.

Nishina had been quietly listening to the wind whispering through the leaf-gaps when she found herself marveling at the spectacle.

This exotically-flavored lake had been artificially created within the palace grounds by the 12th Emperor, who'd diverted waterways for a close friend from another continent. Because of this, the area around the lake was filled with trees and flowers that couldn't be found elsewhere in the empire.

They must have been brought directly from that other continent. Nishina vaguely recalled hearing from a gardener that the camellias in her own garden had also been imported during that time.

Like her camellias, these willows possessed an elegant charm.

What kind of place had that unknown friend's homeland been, where trees and flowers like these bloomed everywhere?

She'd never been there, yet somehow the atmosphere of that country painted itself vividly in her mind. It must have been a beautiful, peaceful place.

The willows weren't the only eye-catching feature.

Nearby, azaleas bloomed in abundance, and beneath the profusely flowering magnolia trees stood a small arched bridge built of stacked stones. Through the gaps, ducklings swam in a neat line following their mother.

Watching their plump tails wiggle left and right with such industrious effort, Nishina nodded to herself in understanding.

Despite the astronomical costs of maintaining the lake, it had been preserved through several generations—perhaps precisely because of this magnificent view.

If she'd voiced such thoughts aloud, Melissa would have readily agreed. She too was thoroughly immersed in the scenery.

Nishina shifted her gaze to Melissa, who sat across from her in the small boat upon the serene lake.

Beneath her wide-brimmed hat, Melissa's sparkling eyes held joy. The respite with her daughter, carved from a life buried in work, seemed to genuinely please her.

The tea party had been successfully completed in large part thanks to Melissa's help, so Nishina had proposed this outing as a way of expressing gratitude. She'd done well to visit in person.

While she'd rewarded the ladies-in-waiting and maids financially, monetary gifts would be meaningless for Melissa, who was an Imperial Consort.

After considerable deliberation, when Nishina had proposed a boat ride, Melissa had been so delighted. Though Nishina hadn't had even the slightest intention of immediately interrupting her busy mother's schedule, the excitement of that mother had resulted in her being promptly dragged to the lake.

Even after they'd already boarded the boat, Nishina couldn't hide her concern and finally spoke.

"Are you truly certain this is all right?"

"Of course—isn't it the law that today's work must be postponed until tomorrow?"

Melissa shrugged playfully. Even as she said it, Nishina knew she poured more energy into her work than anyone.

Come to think of it, aside from the few times she'd visited seeking help, this was their first personal meeting in quite a while. That was how busy Melissa had been.

Perhaps that was why her face seemed more tired than before.

Even within the same palace, the grounds were so vast that unless one made the effort to visit, there was no chance of crossing paths. Previously, her mother had come to see her once a day, but after the Empress's passing, those visits had noticeably decreased.

That might be why she was so happy about today's outing.

'I've been so busy with my own affairs that I never thought to visit her first.' A strange guilt pricked at her.

Moreover, today's meeting didn't contain purely innocent intentions, which made it worse.

"Mother."

"Mm?"

"There's something I want to ask you."

"Ask me anything."

That eternally warm gaze always rested on her. The more she received that infinitely tender look, the more her mouth sealed itself shut.

The words she was about to speak might become a cruel blade that would pierce her mother's heart.

Today, she would finally make her intentions unequivocally clear.

This would be the first time she voiced her resolution since making her decision. If she was to first reveal her will that would cause controversy, the recipient should naturally be her mother, Melissa. She wouldn't dismiss Nishina's opinion simply because she was "too young."

Moreover...

'I am always on your side.'

That was what she'd always told her.

Nishina knew very well how much her mother cherished her. Melissa probably wouldn't get angry or oppose her. But how this resolution would be received by her mother—that, she couldn't predict at all.

Just as the Empress had strived to make Aiden the heir, her mother too—though never stating it outly—had refused to yield to the Empress's blatant attitude and had steadily built her own position.

That had all been solely for Nishina's sake. And now Nishina was about to render all those efforts meaningless.

The fear that this might wound her mother—that was what made her hesitate to speak.

After a long moment of wavering, Nishina clenched her fists and blurted out the main point.

"Mother, do you wish for me to become the sun?"

Silence descended over the already quiet lake. Nishina bit her lip and stole a glance at Melissa's expression.

Despite the question whose meaning was transparently obvious, Melissa didn't seem particularly surprised. Nor did she appear displeased or flustered.

She simply smiled gently, her expression as soft as ever.

"I always wish for your happiness."

"..."

Melissa's warm hand tenderly stroked Nishina's cheek.

"Whatever position you're in, as long as you can smile the way you do now, this mother has nothing more to wish for."

She didn't know why that affectionate touch made her nose sting so. Squeezing her eyes shut, Nishina embraced her mother as though returning to childhood.

The small boat rocked, but her mother's embrace was more comfortable than anywhere else in the world.

"You must have worried so much these past days."

That single consoling sentence brought comfort to all the days of anguish in one stroke.

Not a single day had been easy since recovering her memories.

The pressure of not being allowed to fail, the anxiety over the situation's lack of progress, the helplessness of knowing things might not change.

Crushed beneath that weight, she'd been pushing herself a bit too hard, it seemed.

The matter wasn't even resolved, yet gaining just one person—someone on her side—brought such relief.

"I am always on your side."

The softly whispered words were no different from usual, yet somehow they made her want to cry.

'If I can truly make this story end with everyone happy, it will surely be thanks to the love you've given me.'

Swallowing the words she couldn't voice, Nishina tightened her arms around her mother.

Right now, in the safest place in the world, she wanted to rest—just for a little while, just for the briefest moment.

After staying in her mother's embrace for some time, Nishina slowly sat up.

"Oh my, finished already?"

Melissa murmured regretfully, but Nishina couldn't even answer, much less lift her head. Now that her head had cooled, she felt thoroughly embarrassed by the childish behavior so unlike herself.

Though only Melissa and Nishina were on the boat, several attendants were coming and going along the lakeshore setting up the tea table. It wasn't that far away—they'd probably seen everything.

Ahem. Clearing her throat, Nishina extracted herself from the embrace and fussily smoothed her rumpled dress.

Watching Nishina's embarrassment with fond amusement, Melissa tactfully changed the subject.

"Shall we head to shore now?"

"...Yes."

The boat embedded with magic stones moved in any desired direction with simple handle adjustments, no boatman needed.

Nishina had just gathered her flushed face and placed her hand on the handle when—

—Hey.

A voice close by made Nishina's body jolt.

Forgetting her earlier embarrassment entirely, she whipped her head up. Melissa, facing her directly, merely looked at her with puzzlement.

"What's wrong?"

"N-nothing."

'I thought I heard a voice. Was it my imagination?'

—Child!

Just when she'd thought she'd misheard, the clearly audible sound made her gaze drop sharply. Something fairy-like with only its head poking above the lake's surface was looking up at her.

So that wasn't a fairy, but... a spirit?

The palm-sized spirit was transparent throughout, as though water had taken form. Half-submerged in the water so she couldn't see clearly, but what kept flapping was definitely wings.

The flower adorning its hair—for what purpose, she didn't know—kept sliding down its hair that flowed like water itself.

It was so focused on gazing at her with sparkling eyes that it hadn't noticed at all.

In short, it had the unmistakable appearance of "I'm a spirit."

—Child! Hello!

—What, is that her?

Hehe. Beside the blue spirit that giggled inanely, a leaf began to wriggle, and soon a tiny green spirit popped out from beneath it.

The spirit wearing a leaf-hat placed both hands on its hips and looked up at her with deliberately sharp scrutiny—but rather than intimidating, it was merely adorable.

No, setting aside that seriously cute visual—

'Why are you suddenly appearing there?!'

Frozen in shock, Nishina's eyes shook wildly.

'Wasn't the ability supposed to manifest only at age sixteen?'

Her mind turned to chaos in an instant.

Why now, of all times.

It wasn't that the ability was unwelcome, but the timing was terrible. In a situation where even the slightest possibility of failing to persuade the Emperor existed, having her ability discovered would be the worst outcome.

Whatever her intentions, the power of spirits would become powerful evidence supporting his will. So at the very least, it absolutely couldn't be discovered until after the war—her final line of defense.

If the ability manifested after Aiden raised his standing in the war and was appointed Crown Prince, it would already be a done deal.

In the original, she'd awakened her ability at sixteen, so she'd been complacent. For whatever reason, gaining the ability now was absolutely unacceptable.

Having reached that conclusion rapidly, Nishina hastily looked away from them.

"We should hurry and go have tea."

Haha. Laughing awkwardly, she addressed her mother. She desperately grabbed the handle, but the spirits' reaction was faster than the boat's movement.

—Child?

The small, transparent head tilted in confusion.

—Can't she hear?

—That's impossible, dummy! She's just ignoring you!

—Wh-why?!

—I don't know. Maybe she dislikes you?

When the green spirit answered cynically, the blue spirit's eyes filled with moisture.

—B-but that can't be... I, I even put on flowers because I wanted to look nice!

—They already slid off, you know?

—Ah, really... Child...

The trembling, tearful voice called to her. Glancing over, she saw clear tears dripping from those transparent eyes—tears even more pristine than the eyes themselves.

Bewilderment choked her throat. She wanted to immediately reassure them that it wasn't like that, but...

Even as cold sweat trickled down, Nishina desperately continued her act of not seeing, not hearing.

"Sh-shall we go quickly?"

"? Let's."

The unreturned gaze seemed so pitiful that they looked ready to burst into wailing any moment.

"I'm s-sorry!"

Nishina's outburst came as she forcibly fixed her hand—which seemed ready to reach toward them any second—onto the handle instead.

At her trembling hand and sudden exclamation, Melissa cast a puzzled look, but Nishina no longer had the composure to maintain her act.

As the boat finally began to move, Nishina had to struggle desperately not to look back at the forlorn gazes following her.