HTPTMOTMM Chapter 40

I stared blankly at the woman's face visible in the vision.

'Ah, it's really been a long time.'

A past that had already become something that happened long ago.

It wasn't a scene I particularly wanted to see, but seeing the woman's face like this made me feel a bit glad paradoxically.

I reached out my hand, but couldn't touch her. I thought I had no lingering attachments left, but it was amusing that I felt a little wistful.

Before, when I saw her like this, I thought I would have many things I wanted to say, but now no thoughts came to mind. Was it because quite some time had already passed?

The woman was still looking at me with resentful eyes. I had resented her too. But while looking at her now, other emotions preceded resentment.

So I just gazed quietly at the person before my eyes during the time allowed to me.

Just endlessly, until someone woke me up.

When I opened my eyes again, the hazy sky welcomed me.

I couldn't tell how much time had passed since I first touched the flower.

I found myself lying on the ground. My limp body felt heavy, as if I had awakened from deep sleep.

But the feeling of the ground against my back wasn't just cold and hard, which seemed strange, and now I saw that Cheswick was serving as my cushion.

He looked down at me silently, his face dark in the shadows.

"Ah... was I like this for a long time?"

My vision was somehow blurry, so I couldn't see what expression Cheswick was making. He had just been quiet since I opened my eyes.

"No, but why is my face like this? You didn't splash water on me, did you, Cheswick?"

I had only quietly watched the vision the flower showed me and came out, but strangely my face was damp as if I had been caught in rain.

I raised my hand and fumbled to wipe my eyes and cheeks. During this time, Cheswick again kept his mouth firmly shut and stayed still. Only his gaze fixed on my face never left me for a moment.

I looked around, but the giant flowers had already scattered in all directions to avoid Cheswick.

I gave up hiding my face from Cheswick's view.

Still, it was a bit embarrassing, so I fidgeted and mumbled before speaking to him.

"Um, thank you."

"......"

"Actually, I didn't think I'd be able to see it again..."

It was difficult to continue, but eventually the sincere feelings that welled up settled into the quiet garden.

"I was so happy to see it like this."

But after actually voicing the sincere feelings I didn't want to acknowledge even to myself, I found myself funny again. So I giggled while looking at Cheswick.

My face was a mess of tears and snot, so my stupid smiling face must have looked quite ridiculous, but Cheswick didn't laugh looking at me like that.

Perhaps I was a little grateful to this game character for that.

'No, thinking about it, it's embarrassing.'

I belatedly felt reality hit after leaving the demon's garden.

Actually, when I had just awakened from the vision and was spilling tears and snot everywhere, I only felt refreshed.

Even when Cheswick, who had been silent, looked at me and said it was late so we should head back, I didn't particularly feel embarrassed.

Afterward, when we came out of the garden and I looked at the sky, it seemed more time had passed than I thought.

It turned out Cheswick had really allowed me to spend as much time as possible in the vision.

He could have dealt with it halfheartedly and gone back to his room because it was bothersome, but I was moved by his sincere heart.

Thanks to him, I was able to see the face I wanted to see to my heart's content.

But Cheswick had been quiet since earlier, so I had plenty of time to reflect on what happened in the garden.

As I did so, I gradually began to feel embarrassed about my behavior.

'But my face must look terrible right now.'

I was following Cheswick when I took off one of my outer garments and put it over my head.

Then I subtly spoke to Cheswick.

"Um, Cheswick. I'm really grateful and sorry, but could you possibly..."

"No."

"Huh, I haven't said anything yet."

"Entering the demon's garden again is not allowed, so give up now."

Cheswick hit the mark perfectly, leaving me speechless.

Of course, as someone who had just been thinking about feeling refreshed or clear-headed, it was a bit embarrassing. But humans aren't creatures who know satisfaction easily.

Before I had even taken a few steps out of the demon's garden, I was already feeling regret.

After all, this was someone I could never see again in reality. Even if I could meet them, that wasn't what I wanted.

But wouldn't it be okay in this virtual reality game?

After all, the vision shown by this demon's garden must have been the connection device scanning my unconscious.

So if I wanted to see my own memories as I pleased, what was wrong with that?

Right, when real life is already harsh enough, what's the problem with doing what I want in a game?

You who stop me are bad data...!

"You said just once would be enough first, Lynne."

"Yes... I did say that. But..."

"Besides, constantly seeing such things is bad for mental health. Even if it doesn't show on the outside, a person can be ruined in an instant. You know that from what you just experienced, don't you, Lynne?"

But Cheswick's words were so reasonable that I gave up dejectedly.

Perhaps feeling this from beside me, Cheswick looked back at me for the first time since leaving the demon's garden. As soon as he did, he seemed at a loss for words.

"What are you wearing on your head right now?"

A hollow laugh flowed from Cheswick's mouth. I made excuses hesitantly.

"Well, as you can see, my face is a bit... I was worried others might see."

Of course, it's all game data anyway, but I guess I'm not that thick-skinned yet.

Maybe because there are many people I'm meeting for the first time.

Anyway, I'm glad it's a game. If this were reality, I wouldn't be able to face even this person next to me now. I'd quit my job and everything and go into hiding.

'...No, I take that back. Places that pay salaries are precious!'

"Anyway, thank you for today, Cheswick. What happened inside is a secret between us, right?"

"Where would I tell such a thing?"

Cheswick's voice responding to my words seemed slightly subdued, perhaps due to my mood.

"Lynne."

"Yes?"

Cheswick called my name but said nothing more.

Cheswick's face looking down at me was unfamiliarly expressionless. That face feeling cold was surely because of the moonlight.

"No. It's nothing."

In the end, Cheswick didn't say anything more to me.

I parted with Cheswick and headed quietly to Dian's room, killing the sound of my footsteps, instead of going straight to my room.

Fortunately, I didn't meet anyone else during this time.

I quietly opened the door and entered to see the young boy sleeping soundly on the bed. I tiptoed to the head of the bed and sat on the floor, then looked down at sleeping Dian quietly.

"He's sleeping well. His fever seems to have gone down completely, so that's a relief..."

I carefully raised my hand and gently brushed aside the child's hair that was poking his eyes.

Looking at Dian's sleeping face made me smile unconsciously.

Actually, this is something I've never told anyone, but Dian resembles my deceased younger sister a bit. She also had these chubby cheeks and eyes with cute upturned corners. The way he cried easily and got discouraged easily seemed similar too.

And my younger sister was often sick like this too.

Of course, now it's an old memory buried in time, so it might have been beautified and changed within me, leading me to find her in this innocent person out of misplaced longing.

But this one thing is certain.

No matter what anyone says, I really loved that child a lot.

That day, when she kept begging to go out and play together, I should have just comforted her and stayed home.

When the truck was rushing toward us, instead of freezing and standing still, I should have at least pulled her back.

I repeated such meaningless regrets endlessly throughout my life.

"So I hope Dian will live with me for a long, long time..."

I whispered while looking at sleeping Dian's face.

Even knowing this was a game, I loved this boy so much and always wished for his happiness.

Actually, while wanting to see Dian's happy ending more than anyone, when I really got to see the end of this game, I thought I might cry from feeling too empty and sad.

Anyway, despite such contradictions, I was happy to have my boy by my side.

| Lynne's Journal |

Dian was so lovely and dazzling today too.

After breakfast, following Dian's opinion that moderate exercise two to three times a week is good for a healthy body, we went outside.

Dian said he would run five laps around the field.

I suggested that five laps might be too much and how about just one lap, but Dian was stubborn.

I began cheering enthusiastically beside Dian who started running around the field.

Dian looked tired but succeeded in running five laps around the field with persistence.

How can such a wonderful boy exist?

At lunch time, Dian said he would eat three beans today, which he usually disliked.

I suggested eating just one might be better, but Dian was stubborn.

I began cheering enthusiastically beside Dian who started eating beans.

Dian looked like he was struggling but succeeded in eating three beans with persistence.

Really, how can such a wonderful boy exist?

After lunch, Dian said he would read ten pages of a philosophy book he disliked.

I suggested reading just one page might be better, but Dian was stubborn.

I began cheering enthusiastically beside Dian who started reading the philosophy book...

(The rest omitted)

Dian was truly a wonderful and amazing boy today too.

I'm amazed every time I see Dian, wondering if it's possible to grow so much every single day.

I'm quite proud knowing whose child is being raised.

I look forward to another day with Dian tomorrow.

| Marianne's Journal |

Lusca's wake-up time: 7 AM.

Light exercise afterward, then morning meditation.

Breakfast at 8 AM.

Menu: oatmeal porridge, scrambled eggs, bread with grilled vegetables and prosciutto, milk.

History lesson from 9 AM.

Fencing lesson from 10:30 AM.

Lunch at 12 PM.

Menu: pasta with tomatoes, cheese and bacon, corn soup, orange juice.

Walk at 1 PM.

Reading at 2 PM.

Art education at 4 PM.

Dinner at 6 PM.

Menu: grilled chicken breast steak with grilled mushrooms, salad with fruit.

Review of today's learning at 7 PM.

Reading at 8 PM.

Meditation at 9 PM.

Bedtime at 10 PM.