IWBAACTWITOS Chapter 1

1. The Female Protagonist is Born

"Thaleia, this is your little sister, Royna."

The moment I heard the name of the tiny baby cradled in Roxana's arms, I had no choice but to despair.

Royna Remetio.

The heroine of my novel—the one I'd desperately hoped would never be born.

Damn it.

"Tilly?"

My four-year-old body reacted honestly to my emotions.

When my vision blurred with tears, Roxana laid Royna back in the cradle.

Julian, who'd been watching the baby with me, scooped me up and patted my back.

When I wrapped both arms around his neck, the rabbit doll I'd been holding under one arm dropped to the floor.

"There, there. You're jealous because Mama was holding your sister, aren't you? Mama belongs to our Tilly."

Julian soothed me like he'd expected this.

I wanted to tell him that wasn't it, but the words wouldn't come. I just buried my face in his shoulder.

What is this?

"Come here, our Tilly."

Roxana took me from Julian and wiped away my tears. Her eyes were full of affection.

It occurred to me suddenly—sometimes when a second child arrives, the first gets jealous, thinking their parents have been stolen away. They probably thought that's why I was crying.

Well, in a sense, they're right...

I'd been uncertain when I heard my parents' names, but once I learned the family and country I'd been born into, I was certain.

This world was the novel I'd created.

I'd known, but I'd hoped until the last moment.

That the child Roxana would give birth to wouldn't be a girl. That the baby's name wouldn't be Royna.

But the setting I'd created worked like fate, giving her the name Royna and deciding from birth that she would be this world's protagonist.

"Tilly, look at this."

I sniffled and turned my head to find Julian pulling at his own face, making funny expressions.

That wasn't what I'd given him that handsome face for.

Usually I'd laugh when he looked so obviously dejected at getting no reaction, but I wasn't in the mood right now.

"Papa, you're ugly! Go away!"

At my honest words, he dropped his hands from his face looking shocked, and Roxana burst out laughing. I buried my head in Roxana's shoulder again and cried.

Being trapped inside a novel I'd written felt worse than I'd expected.

Maybe other people wouldn't mind, but I did. The tears rolling down my cheeks, my hot eyes, the arms holding me, the voice at my ear—I could feel it all vividly.

Those sensations whispered that this was all inescapable reality.

I'd been living here for four years, pretending to be a small child.

The last thing I remembered from my previous life was two bright lights rushing toward me. I'd concluded it was a car—that I'd been in a traffic accident—about a year ago. And absurdly enough, right on cue, Roxana had gotten pregnant.

Had I died and been reborn? Or was I in a coma, dreaming an endless dream?

Either way, it was terrible.

"Tilly, do you like Mama?"

"Yeah."

"Papa too?"

"...Yeah."

Unlike with Roxana, I answered after a slight pause, and Julian looked hurt again.

"Just because Royna was born doesn't mean she's stealing your Mama and Papa who love you. Tilly, you've gained another person you can love unconditionally. Mama, Papa, and Royna will all love you too."

"..."

"Do you still dislike Royna?"

"No, I like her."

"Then shall we say hello to our Royna? You said hello many times when she was in Mama's belly, but this is the first time you're seeing her face. She looks exactly like our Tilly did as a baby, so she's very pretty."

The familiar scent, the low voice for a woman, the short platinum hair—it all comforted me.

When I seemed to have calmed down a bit, Roxana sat me beside the cradle. The plump cheeks and pretty deep purple eyes looked like a slightly younger version of me.

"Come on, say hello to the baby."

"...Hi."

Royna, who'd been staring at me while working her lips, opened her mouth and drool ran down her cheek. At that sight, I couldn't help but laugh.

No matter how much I hated being here, this baby was my perfect heroine that I loved.

Right. My protagonist.

This newborn heroine, and Roxana and Julian who were the heroine's parents—all characters from the story I'd carefully crafted. But I was the heroine's older sister, who didn't exist in the original.

I loved them, but they weren't my family.

I wiped away the drool Royna had drooled with a handkerchief, meeting eyes the same deep purple as mine.

I'd drooled a lot at this age too, and each time someone had carefully wiped it away with gentle hands. Though my eyes hadn't worked properly then and I couldn't tell who it was, it was probably the nanny.

You've got one more person to wipe your drool, so you're luckier. Right?

I pulled at the rabbit doll's ear while watching Royna flail her arms and legs, desperately trying to flip over.

At first I'd waited to turn her back over once she managed to flip, but after ten minutes of her failing to flip over, I was getting bored. When I let out a long yawn, Royna stopped trying to flip and stared at me.

Giving up?

Tears began forming in those large purple eyes, and soon Royna burst into crying. She was apparently frustrated that things weren't going her way.

When the nanny who'd been watching us both soothed Royna, the crying got a bit quieter. I uncovered my ears and tried to leave the room.

"Waaah!"

Royna's crying, which had seemed to be calming down, got louder again, but babies cry—it's their job. I ignored the nanny calling after me from inside the room. I'd come to visit on my own for the first time in four whole months, and all I'd gotten was exhaustion.

Should I go to the garden and take a nap?

After wandering around briefly and deciding on a destination, I carefully held the rabbit doll and began descending the stairs one step at a time.

It was a bit nerve-wracking going down the stairs while holding the rather large rabbit doll—I worried I might miss a step—but I conquered the staircase safely. The rabbit doll that sometimes felt cumbersome was a birthday present from Julian.

I carried it around every day, so other people seemed to think it was a comfort object, but it was just a pillow essential for naps. With it, I could sleep anywhere.

I'd thought about being reborn as a fat cat in a rich family in my next life, just sleeping all the time.

I'd been born into a rich family, and now I could sleep whenever I wanted without much restriction. Getting fat was something I'd left as a future option, so I'd almost achieved my goal.

But I wasn't happy. I'd failed at the most important part—species!

I should sleep while I can.

I came out to the garden, glanced around, and lay down under the biggest tree. It was shaded and occasionally breezy—a nap spot I visited often. Today too, the rabbit doll's head got squished as it served as my pillow.

Just as I was about to fall asleep, I heard someone approaching across the grass and opened my eyes.

"My daughter."

"...Papa?"

It hadn't even been an hour since lunch, but Julian, who should be coming home in the evening, was crouching beside me.

"You were sleeping when Papa left this morning, and you're sleeping again?"

"...Yeah."

"Play with Papa."

"What are we playing?"

"House?"

"Then Papa, you be Mama."

"Is Tilly going to be Papa?"

"No, Papa is the rabbit."

Julian seemed momentarily flustered by my unexpected answer, but soon smiled again and asked what role I'd play.

"Royna. Royna's still a baby, so she'll sleep. Good night."

I handed the rabbit doll to Julian and closed my eyes again. It was quiet for a moment, but then Julian brazenly raised his voice and started chattering by himself.

"That's strange? Papa— I mean, Mama has two babies but there's only one here? Royna, shall we go find your big sister together?"

I opened my eyes to slits, glared at Julian, then turned away sharply. It wasn't cute-daughter working hours right now, so I wasn't going to react.

"Royna was only just born, so Mama needs to carry her."

Ugh, annoying.

"...Wah wah."

Julian seemed satisfied with my utterly flat crying and carried me into the mansion. When he headed straight for Royna's room, I covered both ears with my hands. I could still hear the baby's crying from inside the room. When Julian and I entered, the nanny who'd been soothing Royna gave us an awkward smile.

"Your Grace."

"Royna really cries a lot."

"Yes, she's completely different from Miss Tilly, who only cried when she truly needed something."

I feel like I cried quite a bit though.

I'd been pretending to sleep with my face buried in Julian's shoulder, but I turned my head to look at Royna. The moment our eyes met while she was wailing, Royna stopped crying and stared at me.

"Oh my?"

Royna giggled with swollen eyes. Seeing that smile, the corners of my mouth lifted without me meaning them to. I thought she was ugly but cute.

If something ugly looks cute, there's no hope.

"You're ugly."

At my honest assessment, the nanny let out a small laugh. Julian laughed too, but scolded me that I shouldn't say things like that.

"Ugly? She's so pretty."

"Nuh-uh, Royna looks like Papa so she's ugly."

"But Tilly looks like Papa too?"

"You get ugly when you cry, and you both cry all the time. I don't cry much, so I'm not ugly."

"...I-I see. Then I should try not to cry anymore."

"It's okay. You're cute even when you're ugly."

When I patted Julian's head to comfort him, the nanny's face turned bright red as she coughed. She seemed to be trying to cover up her laughter with coughing rather than burst out laughing in front of him.

"Papa wants to look cool rather than cute."

"Papa, cute things are the best in the world. And you can't catch up to Mama in coolness anyway, so it's more advantageous to take the cute position."

"Advantageous for what?"

At that, I thought for a moment, then stared intently at Julian's purple eyes. Royna and I had inherited our eyes from him. I smiled slightly and smoothed down his hair that I'd messed up with my small hand.

"If Papa's crying, even if Mama's really cool, I'll go comfort Papa first. So stay as cute Papa."

"Does that mean you like Papa more than Mama?"

"No, that's not it."

At my serious expression and Julian's hurt look, the nanny finally couldn't hold it in and burst out laughing.