IWBAACTWITOS Chapter 8

'Ugh, I got too worked up over a little kid.'

I looked out the carriage window and sighed, remembering what happened with Asher. At my sigh, Julian looked up from his documents.

"What did you play today?"

"Asher carried me on his back."

"Really? Are you happy our Tilly has an older brother?"

I grimaced at the word "brother."

"Why would he be my older brother?"

"Because his birthday is a few months before our Tilly's?"

"He's only a little older."

When I answered tartly, Julian chuckled as if something was funny.

"Why are you laughing?"

"A long time ago, Dad and Asher's dad also fought over who was the older brother."

"Who's the older one?"

"Of course Dad is."

"Your birthday is earlier?"

"Yep. By a whole month."

I laughed at the absurdity of "a whole month." It wasn't like Asher and me with over half a year between us—fighting over who was older with just a one-month difference was ridiculous. When I laughed, Julian scratched his cheek sheepishly.

"Do you not like Asher?"

"No, I like him."

"Why?"

I answered Julian with a look that said why are you asking something so obvious.

"He's cute."

"...Our Tilly really does take after her mother."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Saying things like that with a straight face—you're identical."

I smiled faintly at Julian's words and thought about Asher.

Aegis.

The name of the most famous shield in Greek and Roman mythology. Aegis was a character who willingly chose to become a shield for people—and beyond that, for those he loved.

At the end of the story I wrote, he becomes a true emperor.

From the moment we first met, Asher always smiled brightly. He was kind, polite, and upright.

Part of it was his nature, but he'd grown up in an environment that made him that way. Many people had expectations for him, and he tried to live up to those expectations.

'It's not like that's necessarily a bad thing.'

But Asher was still just a little kid who couldn't tell what he really wanted, what he liked or disliked.

A prince character straight out of a storybook—that was the sub-male lead I'd created, not who Asher was right now.

Of course, Asher would have to become my sub-male lead someday, and his current environment was the process that created that sub-male lead.

Why Asher had no choice but to become the perfect Imperial Highness. Why he could be kind to everyone and upright in everything.

And why he loved the male lead and female lead so much. Why he chose to die alongside them.

'It's suffocating.'

The more precious things a person has, the harder they try to protect them. To make Asher into an extremely selfless shield, I'd created an environment where he had no choice but to be loved greatly and to love greatly.

As an extremely selfish human being, what should I do about his problem while he was still small and young? Should I leave him alone for the sake of the original story? Or should I tell him it's okay to be a little selfish?

'I can't even shake off my own suffocation—how could I possibly shake off Asher's?'

"Tilly!"

At Julian's call, I broke from my thoughts and met his gaze. The people around me never seemed to give me time to sink into thought.

"What, Dad?"

"The portrait from the other day is finished. Her Majesty the Empress sent one to our house too."

"Portrait? Oh, that thing..."

The one they'd painted when Asher and I danced must be complete. I didn't care much about it anyway—it was just for the doting fools' collection.

When Julian started going on about how cute I looked in the painting, I turned my head away.

Looking out the window, I saw we were passing through the ducal estate's main gate. But the estate was huge—even after passing the main gate, it took another five minutes by carriage.

Meaning I had to listen to Julian's chatter for five more minutes. Even if I let it go in one ear and out the other, Julian's chatter was exhausting. So I just plugged my ears. Honestly, covering your ears with your hands doesn't do much for soundproofing.

I was just signaling to Julian that I didn't want to listen. But even with my ears plugged, Julian kept talking anyway.

"So Rus—I mean, His Majesty the Emperor—and I got into a debate over who's cuter and prettier between Asher and our Tilly."

I didn't want to hear about two doting uncles fighting over bragging about their kids. For the subjects of that bragging, it was just humiliating.

"I was almost winning when Rus threw a fit saying it doesn't count unless he confirms Tilly's cuteness with his own eyes. He complained it wasn't fair since he didn't get to see you when Tilly first came to the palace. Honestly, whose fault is it that the Empress scolded him and banned him from approaching? Anyway, Rus was so stubborn about it that we agreed to meet up this weekend—families together."

At the mention of meeting families together, I scrunched up my face. Even though I was already home, I wanted to go home even more desperately.

Philius held the sleeping Aegis, who'd cried himself out, and stared intently at the portrait still leaning against the wall—they hadn't decided where to hang it yet.

During the day, he'd argued with Julian over whose child was prettier, using this portrait as evidence.

Back then, he'd been so focused on Aegis's smile in the painting. But now his gaze kept returning to Thaleia's smile. The more he looked, the more Thaleia's smile seemed different from Aegis's purely innocent one.

"Lottie, what kind of child does the Young Lady seem like to you?"

"An angel."

Philius smiled at Charlotte's answer without hesitation. She certainly was pretty like an angel, taking after Julian.

"Honestly, I had no expectations for the Young Lady at all."

"Yet you brought up the engagement?"

"I really did bring that up without thinking."

Charlotte snorted—she still hadn't fully forgiven him for that. Philius laid Aegis on the bed, then started massaging Charlotte's shoulders to appease her. Charlotte tidied Aegis's golden hair before turning her gaze to the portrait Philius had been looking at.

'I thought my son was the most mature child in the world. Turns out he's not.'

It hadn't been that long since Charlotte recognized something was wrong with the situation surrounding Aegis.

To be precise, it was when she'd first arranged a gathering with noble children Aegis's age to find him suitable friends. High-ranking noble families often did this to cultivate social skills.

With a light heart, she'd organized a tea party, inviting people she often met who had children.

Originally, she'd wanted to invite Thaleia too, but right then Roxana had given birth to her second child, so they postponed it.

Aegis had appeared at public events several times before. Each time, he'd shown himself to be well-mannered while maintaining imperial dignity, just as he'd been taught.

That's why people around him called him the ideal prince. She'd felt very proud hearing that.

She'd thought the gathering with children his age instead of adults would be fine too, and as expected, Aegis played well with the noble children.

It was such a successful tea party. That evening during dinner, Charlotte asked Aegis:

'Which friend did our Asher like best?'

'House Troville was the best one.'

Charlotte had asked which friend he liked, but Aegis's answer was which family was acceptable. Moreover, Count Troville was one of Philius's advisors.

From Aegis's perspective, someone politically acceptable who Philius kept close. Hearing that answer, both Philius and Charlotte froze simultaneously.

'Wait—'

Had Aegis been assessing the children's parents while playing tag? Had he not been running around because it was fun, but just smiling because he had to?

When that question arose, Charlotte could reconsider Aegis.

She'd been aware he was a mature child. It wasn't that she had no desire for him to act more like a child his age, but since he would become emperor someday, she thought being mature was better than being too childish.

The maturity Charlotte had perceived in Aegis was just him acting politely toward those around him.

But behind that politeness, Aegis had been building political calculations. That was something needed much, much later.

'He's only five years old.'

Aegis was growing to meet the expectations around him. But those expectations might become pressure for Aegis, and might even close off his potential.

Since that day, Charlotte and Philius had started worrying. Aegis was already constraining himself within the mold of being a prince.

They'd let him interact naturally with children from various social classes, not just nobles, but the result was the same.

'What if we let him meet the Remetio Young Lady?'

She'd thought that if he met a child in the most similar circumstances but different from him, something might change.

From what she'd heard, unlike Aegis, when Thaleia was presented with peers her age, she either ran away or caused so much trouble they were driven off.

And the moment Charlotte first met Thaleia, she could be certain.

This child was an angel sent from heaven who would change Aegis.

'How can such a pretty child exist?'

All children were pretty, but Thaleia was especially so. She was the spitting image of Julian, famous for his god-given beauty—meeting those purple eyes made Charlotte's heart flutter involuntarily.

Charlotte had tried everything to have a daughter as a second child, but after years there was still no news. Every time she met Thaleia, she couldn't help smiling, unable to keep her composure.

And Aegis was Charlotte's son. Unlike with other children, it was painfully obvious that Aegis was beside himself with liking Thaleia.

Aegis hadn't changed much, but still, he liked Thaleia, and that was enough.

Until tonight, before Aegis came to the bedroom.

"Tilly seems to dislike me."

"Did Tilly say that?"

At that question, Aegis shook his head and told them exactly what he and Thaleia had talked about. Apparently Thaleia had also noticed Aegis's problem and was troubled by it.

While Philius and Charlotte struggled with how to explain this, Aegis finally burst into tears.

Unless he heard directly from Thaleia that she liked him, Aegis looked like he'd keep crying.

They'd barely managed to soothe him by saying he could ask Thaleia again when they met this weekend. Seeing Aegis cry for the first time in ages, Philius seemed to fall into sentiment for a moment.

"Were you similar when you were young?"

"Well, things were such a mess back then that there were fewer expectations than Asher has. The imperial authority was in name only."

"...I see."

"But I understand now what my parents must have felt looking at me. They always felt sorry for me."

Remembering the late Emperor and Empress smiling at him, Philius swallowed his bitterness and embraced Charlotte.

"Should we go to bed?"

"Yes. Let's all sleep together for once."