IWBAACTWITOS Chapter 9

Eyes exactly the same blue as Ash's were filled with curiosity.

The emperor uncle, whom I was meeting for the first time, observed me with a burdensome gaze. When I scrunched up my face, Philius exclaimed in admiration, saying I made the same expression as Julian.

"It's amazing that she's cute when she looks exactly like Julian."

"What do you mean by that, Your Majesty?"

"Speak comfortably. We're meeting as family to family anyway."

"Roxy and Tilly said I was cute, Russ."

"I don't find you cute, so what about it?"

Julian and Philius glared at each other. I took my eyes off the garden flowers and watched the two men engage in a meaningless war of nerves.

'Ugh, did I make a mistake setting those two up with this kind of relationship?'

Before long, various desserts and tea were placed on the table. What was placed in front of me was cold milk, the same as Aegis.

Normally, I would have drunk it without much thought, but after seeing Philius and Julian's drinks, any desire to drink milk flew far away.

The familiar aroma I had dreamed of and the black liquid—coffee, which I was seeing for the first time since coming to this world.

'Coffee.'

While the scientific community designated carbohydrates, protein, and fat as the essential three nutrients, it was different for me. For me, the essential three nutrients were carbohydrates, alcohol, and caffeine!

When my gaze followed the coffee going down Julian's throat, Julian, who was tilting his teacup, smiled.

"Are you curious about what Dad is drinking?"

"Yeah."

"This is called coffee, and it's mainly drunk in the southern regions."

"Give me coffee too, Tilly."

"Tilly can't have it yet."

I almost clicked my tongue unconsciously but remembered the eyes watching me and kept my mouth shut.

To make matters worse, the snack on the plate was also a donut. After seeing the coffee, I remembered my past self who had declared that milk with donuts was heresy.

'Even if alcohol is one thing, isn't coffee something I could have a sip of?'

Even in my previous life, when I was young, I pestered my mom and sipped leftover coffee bit by bit. Although it was drinking Maxim coffee for the sweetness, when I grew up, I became someone who only drank americanos.

Although I was an iced coffee enthusiast, I could drink hot coffee now. Anyway, I really wanted to drink coffee.

"Just one sip, please."

When I grabbed Julian's arm and wheedled with a coquettish voice, Julian seemed to hesitate for a moment but quickly wagged his tail and shook his head at Roxana's gaze.

"No. Tilly should drink milk."

Having failed to persuade Julian, I turned my head away with a huff. Finding my appearance cute, Philius chuckled and offered me his coffee.

"Your Majesty."

At Roxana's reproachful call, Philius glanced at her and made an excuse.

"About one sip should be fine, shouldn't it? It's not bad to taste life's bitterness early."

Philius, who had seemed pathetic just moments ago, now looked like a very cool emperor to me.

Roxana narrowed her eyes and looked at Philius, then chuckled at my sparkling eyes and nodded. With Roxana's permission, when I took a sip of coffee, I was overwhelmed with emotion.

'This is it. This is the one.'

It's just one sip now, but someday I'll add lots of ice to increase the volume and then gulp it down all at once. I returned the cup to Philius with tears in my eyes.

"Isn't it bitter?"

"It's delicious."

When Philius and Roxana expected me to frown at the bitter taste as soon as I put the coffee to my lips, they asked about the coffee's taste seeing me happy.

"Most people dislike it, but you're quite unique."

"Tilly eats anything well."

When Julian said this proudly, Roxana sighed and pointed out Julian.

"Julian, eating too indiscriminately is also a problem. Did you forget that you recently tried to sneak out the liquor from the display cabinet?"

...Actually, I had tried to eat alcohol too. Like in the anime I saw when I was little, I put my hands together and prayed before opening the cabinet door. 'Lord, please allow me to become a drunk thief.' However, it seemed I could become a righteous thief but not a drunk thief, tsk.

After that, all my lovely liquors in the display cabinet disappeared. I subtly avoided Roxana's gaze while pretending to be absorbed in the donut. The imperial couple seemed quite surprised to hear about my attempt to drink liquor.

"A troublemaker young lady. I see the qualities to do great things."

Philius looked down at me, laughing as if amused. I didn't know how trying to steal alcohol connected to qualities for doing great things, but whatever was good was good. When I ate the donut deliciously, Ash offered me his donut.

After snatching snacks a few times, he had started giving me snacks on his own. I had meant to torment Ash, but Ash seemed to like watching me eat. I tore Ash's donut in half, stuffed half into his mouth, and ate the other half.

The half donut disappeared quickly, and Ash gulped down his milk. When milk got on Ash's lips, I wiped his mouth with a handkerchief. The adults smiled at our appearance.

'I really hate this kind of atmosphere.'

"Should we go play?"

"Yes, go play."

I got down from the chair and extended my hand to Ash. Ash stared at my face intently, then smiled and took my hand.

'Now, what should I do?'

I couldn't stand that warm and friendly atmosphere of being treated like little kids together with Ash, so I had made an appropriate excuse to come out, but there was no way I could really play with Ash. Because I had ended the conversation that way last time. Moreover, today there was even a maid following behind us. As I just walked aimlessly holding Ash's hand, he called out to stop me.

"You know."

"What?"

"Do you want to drink coffee?"

"...Yeah."

"I'll give you coffee."

At the mention of coffee, I opened my eyes wide. At my reaction, Ash smiled and led me. The basement storage that Ash led me to stored wine and food ingredients, and there were coffee beans too. Ash picked up a handful of coffee beans and offered them to me.

"Here, coffee."

'What am I supposed to do with this?'

When I spread both hands to receive the coffee beans, Ash smiled brightly and looked at me with expectant eyes. I held the coffee beans in my hands and looked at Ash.

Even the maid, who had been quietly following without stopping us, seemed troubled about what to do with this. After quite some time passed, Ash seemed to sense something was strange and tilted his head, asking.

"Why aren't you eating it? Coffee is made from this. So try eating it."

So Ash thought I would chew and eat the coffee beans raw. Ash didn't know that coffee was very bitter and coffee beans were even more bitter than that. I laughed because it was so absurd. When I just laughed, Ash picked up one of the coffee beans from my hand and put it in his mouth. Feeling the tremendous bitter taste, Ash quickly spat out the coffee bean.

"What is this?"

"So why did you eat that, you dummy?"

"So why did you eat that, you dummy."

As a voice full of mischief came to mind, Ash's tearful face momentarily overlapped with someone else's.

That someone wasn't as pretty as Ash. He was a very, very ugly guy. And it wasn't that someone but me who was making a tearful face at the terrible bitter taste.

Even though I hadn't eaten the coffee beans, the terribly bitter taste from my memory lingered in my mouth, making my tongue ache.

"Why did you eat that?"

The coffee beans in my hand spilled onto the floor and scattered everywhere. Along with the coffee beans, memories I had been holding tight scattered and battered me.

Past memories had occasionally surfaced before, but they had never been as intense as now. I couldn't tell what expression I was making.

At first it was a mistake, but I got even angrier remembering my mom's son from the past who, in my innocent childhood, had made me eat Maxim coffee straight, saying it would taste better if you ate it straight since it was delicious mixed with warm water.

The image of my mom's son who used to torment me in childhood changed to the image of my brother who forcibly swallowed his tears at the moment I was dying, clearly saying it would be okay while holding my hand.

Starting from that, the kaleidoscope of my life I had seen before dying and the emotions I had been suppressing began to pop out one by one.

"T-Tilly."

As I just stood there in a daze with my palm open, Ash grabbed my hand and called me. I almost shook off Ash's hand for a moment but barely held back and uttered words to escape from this place.

"I want to go."

"Where do you want to go?"

"Home."

"......"

"I'm going home."

"We're supposed to eat dinner together today, so you can't go home right now."

At the words that I couldn't go home, I finally shook off Ash's hand. I knew very well that I couldn't go home. Because I had died holding my brother's hand.

But hearing those words, I couldn't bear it anymore. I knew it wasn't something to get angry at Ash about, but I had to shout at someone, anyone.

"I'm going home! I'm going home!"

"Tilly."

I swung the rabbit doll I was holding at Ash. Although it was just a doll, when I hit him randomly, Ash was startled and crouched down. The startled maid tried to stop me, and I dropped the doll I was holding to the floor.

I knew I was taking out my anger on an innocent child who knew nothing, but I could only think of my sadness and pain. I sat down right there and cried out loud.

"Hic, waaaaah!"

I had endured well until now, but to realize that this wasn't where I belonged just because of some coffee beans. It was too unfair, way too unfair. I would have rather been born as one of the countless romance novel villainess characters I had read, or even as an extra.

Why did I have to be born as a character from the novel I wrote, and a character that didn't even exist at that? No matter how much I tried to attach myself to this place, in the end, I could only think that it was all just something I had created.

The terror I felt at the moment of death, the sadness I had endured until now, and the despair that I couldn't return home strangled me. As I struggled to breathe, I desperately called for someone.

"Hic, Mom."

Maybe I was just dreaming after all—I kept having only that thought. I had left everything there. Literally everything.

My dreams, my friends, my boyfriend, my family. Everything, everything that was me as a human being.

I wanted to open my eyes and be in a hospital, and hear my mom crying and calling me an ungrateful daughter who almost died before her parents. Even if that wasn't possible, even if it was impossible.

Just once, really just once would be fine, so I wanted to see my mom.