IWIAHC Chapter 33

She wiggled their clasped fingers. Aiden watched Lily intently, then finally spoke.

[Julius Scheiwartz harbors hatred toward me.]

"What?"

Lily blinked at the unexpected gossip. This was far from the conversation she'd anticipated.

He continued in a matter-of-fact tone.

[I was raised in the imperial palace as a child. You probably know that story.]

Lily answered softly.

"Yes. You lost your parents early, and the previous Emperor graciously acted as your guardian."

[That's right. They raised me like their own child. The problem was that they discriminated against their actual child. His Majesty abused Julius—physically and mentally. And Julius's anger, exhausted by constant comparison...]

Aiden drew a light breath and finished.

[Was directed at me.]

"The rage that should have gone to the previous Emperor bounced to you instead?"

[Exactly. Physically and mentally.]

Seeing her stricken expression, Aiden quickly added.

[It was only for a time. Once I grew, I didn't just endure anymore. After we came to blows a few times, he must have realized he was no match—he started keeping his distance.]

He smiled with deliberate arrogance, as if to show he was fine, but Lily felt no reassurance whatsoever.

'Once he grew? Then what did he endure before he grew? Physically and mentally? How does this make any sense?'

That Aiden didn't elaborate on specific incidents only ignited Lily's imagination further.

"Did he ever apologize?"

Aiden shook his head.

"And you just let that ridiculous rumor spread about you two being close friends?"

[We started the rumor ourselves. After we matured, we realized an alliance benefited both sides. We covered up past friction as boyish pranks and pretended to be close. Close friends... I suppose we were, before the age of ten.]

Lily's mind went blank at this sudden imperial secret.

[But Julius never once let go of his hatred. Others might not know, but I remember those eyes. And in the end, he achieved his goal—though he got an unintended result as a bonus.]

"That piece of shit! I'm going to—"

Lily's fist trembled with fury.

"I understand his circumstances were difficult, but that doesn't excuse taking it out on someone else! Should I go throw his ring in the latrine right now?"

His circumstances truly were pitiable. Julius was also a victim. He'd grown up unable to escape childhood suffering, nurturing hatred.

Lily felt genuine sorrow for his tragedy, separate from judging his actions.

But if forced to choose sides, Lily was firmly a person of House Casimir. Aiden Casimir mattered more to her.

"Besides, if you'd experienced something like that, you should have told me straight out that you had this complicated history with him so I wouldn't worry!"

[Wouldn't that be pathetic?]

"What would?"

[Getting beaten up as a child.]

"Let me tell you what a truly pathetic childhood looks like."

Aiden couldn't help but laugh, then said playfully.

[I'm fine. I'm curious, but I'll respect your dignity.]

The atmosphere had lightened considerably, and Lily relaxed. This was much better than the self-deprecating attitude he'd had while revealing his past.

He started to continue, then laughed softly again. Then he murmured as if to himself.

[You're truly incorrigible.]

Aiden gazed at her steadily. His eyes were as gentle as his soft tone.

Lily lasted barely ten seconds before sliding her gaze away. Somehow it felt too awkward to maintain eye contact. She fumbled for words to change the mood.

"It must have been an unpleasant memory to recall. Thank you for telling me. I understand now why you were worried about me going alone. I'll be careful."

[Caution is part of it, but I mainly told you so you could use this information.]

"Use it?"

[Yes. You'll need it when trying to win Julius over. He's skilled at hiding his true feelings. He can be cunning too. Even I sometimes wonder if he's forgotten all that old jealousy and inferiority.]

But that was decidedly not the case—that was what Aiden wanted to say.

[Whenever you think you're deceiving Julius, you must always suspect that he might actually be deceiving you. And he must never discover that you're working for me.]

It was obvious advice, but hearing his confession made it resonate more deeply.

[Use my story well.]

Lily raised her head.

[It's both my shame and Julius's shame, so it should give you a clue for attacking him.]

What sort of heart willingly offers up a past it calls shameful as a chess piece?

Lily recalled various aspects of him. Small but persistent frustrations, constant worry, and the wish he'd voiced while rummaging through that trunk.

'I want to get my body quickly so I can help you.'

When she'd been organizing the office, had the ghost been thinking such things outside the door the entire time?

Aiden always wanted to do things in her stead, but Lily didn't particularly expect his assistance.

What could she possibly want from someone invisible to everyone, a mirage-like being who could exert no influence on reality except to break things?

Even in their contract, Lily handled present labor while Aiden handled future compensation.

So there was no need for him to be so desperate, yet he scraped out even his own memories to offer them, frantically searching for anything that might help even a little...

"Thank you."

Lily answered sincerely.

"This is a great help."

Though Lily was the one who'd benefited, Aiden smiled gently as if he himself was pleased.

That smile contained not a trace of impurity like pretense or ulterior motive. Just as it always had lately. Lily suddenly felt wistful.

'After His Grace returns to his body, I probably won't have opportunities to see smiles like this. We live in different worlds, after all.'

It wasn't only souls that needed to find their proper place. They too would have to return to their original positions.

For a while, he might recall the past. That brief time with the maid he'd found endearing, the way one might view an unfamiliar animal.

But it had only been an involuntary deviation. Once he returned to his naturally brilliant and elegant daily life, he would quickly forget about some common woman with chapped hands.

He might even want to erase his past of having to curry favor with a maid who held his lifeline.

Who could guarantee that human hearts knew nothing of fading?

Even if now he acted as though he wanted to be with her anywhere, anytime, even if he seemed to genuinely enjoy their time together, in the end...

Emotions were momentary. Permanence existed only in imagination. Lily understood reality well. She should enjoy the moment as if it were eternal while leaving no regrets, but when the time came, she must let go willingly.

Those who clung to attachment only became unhappy.

On a morning when the sun had risen to a reasonable height, Lily Dienta appeared before the annex carrying a covered picnic basket.

"Good morning!"

She delivered her usual greeting to the guard with a small bow, then inserted a key into the annex entrance's keyhole.

After Lily Dienta entered, the guard pulled out his issued pocket watch to check the time.

Originally, the annex remained locked, receiving no special maintenance. No guards had been stationed there either.

However, from the point when Lily Dienta began going in and out of the annex, one guard was permanently stationed outside.

The duties were simple.

One: Prevent anyone except Lily Dienta from entering.

Two: Regardless of what sounds might be heard, take no interest in what happens inside.

Three: If Lily Dienta doesn't emerge after an hour, break the window with the emergency hammer and check the situation.

These peculiar instructions were sufficient to arouse curiosity. All the more so because they involved Lily Dienta, currently the castle's hottest topic.

The mystery surrounding Lily Dienta was considerable.

Her absurdly rapid rise in status, clear signs of mental illness, employment of relatives during the master's absence—yet all matters subject to a gag order thanks to backing from the castle's second-in-command.

And now she visited the empty annex every morning carrying a basket...

However, an excellent soldier never questions a commanding officer's orders.

The guard knew well that curiosity could ruin his future. He faithfully concentrated only on his duties.

Meanwhile, Lily, having entered the annex, locked the door from inside, steeled her mind to avoid being startled, and surveyed the living room-cum-reception room.

The annex was a cozy house, narrow but equipped with all spaces necessary for living. Given its small scale, opening the entrance revealed the living room immediately.

Yesterday, the Emperor had taken some bizarre notion to be in the living room from morning, so she'd nearly dropped her basket the moment she opened the door.

Fortunately, today he seemed to be behaving himself in the bedroom. She breathed in relief and first headed for the prayer room.