IWJACM Chapter 26

Rezet, having seated Elise on the bed, bent low over her. Up close, his face had set into something cold.

Elise learned, looking at him, that there was more than one kind of expressionlessness.

"My lord, are you—are you angry."

Angry why? At what?

Nearly clinging to him, Elise ran back through everything she'd done, searching for what she might have done wrong.

Casting the protective barrier couldn't have hurt the troops. If anything, the opposite. There was one other thing that had, admittedly, been nagging at her. Elise, feeling the warmth pressing deep beneath her skin, forced her tight throat open.

"My lord."

"Speak."

"Were there any casualties?"

"What?"

"If there were many, how—"

A cough burst out of her before she could finish.

But he seemed to have understood anyway. The hand that had been slowly smoothing down her back went still.

Then Rezet answered, his voice as rough as her own.

"No casualties. The wounded are one of Your Highness's ladies, and two servants with minor bruising. That is all."

"Then that's… a relief."

"I don't see what's a relief about it."

"I was worried people might have been hurt because of me. This attack was clearly aimed at—"

The cough that had started once wouldn't let up. Elise reflexively reached to grab hold of his collar, then curled her fingers back.

The memory of all the times Rezet had shaken off her hand, coldly, without a second thought, flickered through her mind.

Her hand, hovering lost in the air, ended up gripping the collar of her own robe instead of his.

'Idiot. How many more times—in front of this man—am I going to go on collapsing.'

She braced her legs and made herself try to stand on her own strength.

"…Ughel—it was clearly me they were after. So I nearly caused needless deaths, and I wanted to apologize."

She didn't want to look pitiful in front of him anymore. This was a matter of pride now. Having just secured her own life, it was almost absurd that she'd found room to worry about pride again so soon.

"I'm glad no one was seriously hurt, but there's no guarantee something like this won't happen again. I don't have anything I can say to you for that. Still, it wasn't intentional, so please don't be too angr—"

Rezet pulled her hand up and pressed it flat against his chest, cutting her off. It was nearly the same spot where she'd almost caught his collar a moment ago. His skin was scalding against her palm.

Elise looked up at him, startled, and the man let out a stifled sigh.

"I'm not angry."

"What? But."

Right now, his expression looked almost identical to when he'd been angry with her back in Van Yela's capital. Rezet lowered his eyes and chose his words.

"I am not angry at Your Highness. I'm in no position to be, not now. Just why you'd think that, I don't know, but—"

"Ah…."

"I should make this clear once and for all. Don't apologize to me. This isn't something Your Highness needs to apologize for, or something I'm owed an apology for."

"……"

"You signed a contract with me. We agreed to exchange things of equal weight. So you must take in full whatever is owed to you. You have no need to hesitate, and no need to feel guilty. It's easier for me that way, too. If you keep doing this, I—"

Rezet was pouring the words out one after another when he cut himself short, his breath breaking off. Elise's eyes had gone wide, startled.

Only then did he register that he'd raised his voice further than he should have. Rezet drew a deep breath and reined in the edge that had sharpened in him.

"…The primary term of our contract was ensuring Your Highness's safety. So this was entirely my own failure. I beg your pardon."

His hand, covering the back of hers, tightened, deliberate and firm.

His other hand still rested beneath her waist. His shadowed blue eyes were dark enough to seem like they might snare her gaze too.

"Not to have left it in another's hands...."

Rarely for him, Rezet was regretting something.

He'd misjudged. He shouldn't have entrusted her safety to his men.

In battle, Rezet's place was always the front line. Wherever he stood became the front edge of the defense. He'd never once put anyone ahead of himself before, so naturally, this time should have been the same.

And yet, unable to master some absurd impulse, he'd broken far off the front line. What an absurd mistake to have made.

On reflection, he'd probably been biding his time for a chance to cut down Yanok Sihat all along. And  once done, cutting the man down had been remarkably satisfying.

Why? He held no personal feelings toward the Kingdom of Ughel whatsoever. Neither goodwill nor hostility—simply no interest at all. So why had his sword gone straight for Yanok's throat?

He didn't need to think long for the answer. It was because of this woman. Because Ughel's open, greedy leering at the princess had always grated on him like a thorn in the eye. Because he hadn't wanted to watch that man loitering in front of Elizabetha again, humiliating her.

And yet—he was also the one who, watching Elise's carriage go over the cliff, had thought it might almost be for the best.

A contradiction, and no contradiction like it.

Elise blinked up at him, her round eyes wide and unguarded, and Rezet felt a faint revulsion.

That arrow of revulsion wasn't aimed at Elise. It was aimed at himself.

If he really hadn't cared when or how this woman keeled over and died, whatever way it happened, he should never have struck a bargain this absurd in the first place.

But now that his name was signed to the contract and the terms accepted, he owed it to himself to see the matter through properly.

"This happened because I lost sight of which mattered more. It won't happen again, so there's no need for Your Highness to anticipate a next time. I'll see to it there's nothing for you to worry about."

"…What you're saying, my lord."

Elise swallowed against a dry throat.

"Am I important to you?"

"Yes."

It wasn't even a question that required thought. At his instant answer, the corners of Elise's eyes trembled, faint and barely visible.

"Of everyone I've ever taken under my protection, Your Highness is the most precious and the most important I've had. That's been true until now, and for the next half year, all the more so."

"Because I'm Argan's princess?"

"Yes."

"…Then."

Elise's gaze dropped slowly. She looked at her own hand, hidden now beneath his, invisible.

Beneath her palm she could feel rough cloth and scalding warmth.

Contract. Elise repeated the word once more inside her head, then carefully curled her fingers and caught hold of the fabric of his shirt.

"Then don't push me away."

"……"

"You don't have to reach for me first. Just don't shake me off when I reach for you. You know perfectly well I have no one else to hold onto but you."

Elise was hanging on to the one thin sheet of contract paper the two of them shared. If the man holding its matching copy turned away from her without mercy, Elise would sink, helpless, straight to the bottom of the lake.

For her, there was no other place of danger. Every place in the world that wasn't at this man's side was a briar-path and a cliff edge and a swamp.

So—let me stay by your side. To that aching plea, Rezet answered quietly.

"Understood."

"Don't leave me to someone else. A promise—you made one."

"…Yes."

That was enough for today. Just hearing that clear answer made the near-drowning she'd nearly died from feel like nothing at all. Only then did the tension that had gathered on Elise's face melt away like snow.

By then the water had dried entirely from her body. Thanks to the warmth he'd sent through her, she felt appropriately warmed through inside as well.

Just as Elise let herself sag, exhausted, against his supporting hold, someone knocked at the door. It was the inn's servant.

"Your Grace, I'll have the bath drawn with hot water."

"Come in."

Rezet's hand slid out from within her robe. He angled his body slightly to block Elise from the maid's line of sight as she entered.

The movement left Elise's face pressed against his chest. The cool scent of water drifted off his body.

The maid, having filled the tub and set up the screen, left the room. Rezet gripped Elise by both shoulders and stepped back one pace.

"I imagine today has left Your Highness badly shaken. You may seem unhurt now, but discomfort can surface later, so you must tell me immediately if anything troubles you."

"Understood. I'll—I'll bathe on my own."

Elise hurriedly caught the hand moving from her shoulder toward her waist. Rezet, who'd meant to carry her straight to the tub, frowned, clearly displeased.

"Can you manage that?"

"Of course I can."

By now Elise had a fair idea of what expression this man wore in what circumstances. He was plainly assuming she'd never once bathed herself without an attending maid.

She protested, unfairly maligned.

"I'm not as helpless as you think I am. I bathed myself just fine until I was fifteen."

"Fifteen? And after that?"

"…There were circumstances. My point is, I'm not some fool who can't wash her own body."

At fifteen, after Elise tried to take her own life, Andrei had seen to it that his sister was never left alone, not for a moment. That wasn't something she could very well explain outright.