IWJACM Chapter 36

By the second day at Lothier, and even the third, Elise's days passed peacefully enough.

It felt, absurdly, like being returned to her days at Argan. The only difference was that the castle's bustling vitality—which Elise had always watched only from a distance—now lay just beyond the door.

At Lothier Castle, the only one who showed her genuine warmth was Yvessa. The rest of the staff either treated her with extreme wariness or with excessive courtesy—one or the other.

Even that, familiar as it was, didn't trouble her much. Only, whenever she happened to notice a maid or lady-in-waiting who struck her eye as pretty, her steps would come to a halt without her meaning them to.

However much a marriage in name only, the thought that she shared a roof with a woman her husband might once have held—whenever it came to her, Elise's feeling turned strange, endlessly, without end.

In the end, wasn't she in no different a place than they were? The purpose—to carry the yon'gyn's seed in her—was the same, after all.

A road she'd chosen for herself—so no matter how her stomach turned on it, there was nothing for it.

'I'd rather just get pregnant quickly, if I could.'

Then at least she'd be free of this restless anxiety that time kept slipping away without her.

The journey to Lothier had been delayed, and nearly a month of the contract's term had already run out because of it. Every time she counted the days remaining, an impatience kept rising in her.

In the end, even peace lasted only so long. From her fifth day at Lothier, Elise began to sleep poorly.

The comfort here—so reminiscent of Argan—stirred up longing for her brother. Every night, Andrei appeared in her dreams, bleeding, and reproached her.

"How could you go and do something so mad, Elise! You're Argan's own princess! How could you go making yourself some man's seed-womb, of your own will…!"

She hadn't dreamed of Andrei on the road to Lothier. The greatest difference between then and now was, again, that man's absence.

“…….”

A full week now—Elise slept alone in this wide bedroom, woke alone in it. Her side lay clean, untouched—no fold thrown back in the blanket, no trace at all that a body had ever lain there.

“…He didn't come again today.”

She hadn't meant for it to happen this way, but ever since she'd met Rezet Kyrstan, there had been very few days he'd left her side entirely. Only a week she'd slept alone, and already the empty space beside her—she missed it.

These past few days, Elise had laid eyes on that man exactly once. Yesterday—far off through the window, his back among a knot of knights. That was the whole of it.

However large the castle was, this couldn't happen unless one side was deliberately avoiding the other.

An uneasy feeling crept in, whether she willed it or not.

...Surely not.

'He does mean to keep his word… doesn't he?'

The voice that had flatly declared he had no wish to hold a woman like her, and the indifferent instruction to "get accustomed to it beforehand"—both surfaced by turns in her mind. She'd seen with her own eyes proof that the man was aroused, and thought that meant he wasn't entirely without interest—but then she'd remember her own neglected state, a full week running, and the anxiety would return regardless.

In the end, sleep left her entirely.

'I should at least go see his face.'

Elise pulled the bell-cord draped over the side table. Before long, Yvessa opened the bedroom door, her smile bright.

“Your Highness, you're up early! You could have slept a little longer.”

“No, I've had enough.”

“I'll bring you some warm soup first. Warm your stomach a little.”

“No. Food can wait. Could you bring me a shawl?”

“Pardon? You've only just opened your eyes—where are you off to?”

“The study. Just for a moment. I'll use those stairs, so it won't take long at all.”

Elise splashed a little water on her face and threw on whatever clothes came to hand.

She pushed back the curtain and opened the wooden door it concealed. A narrow, dark spiral staircase appeared before her. She'd been told this passage was one only the lord and his wife could use—that neither maids nor servants were permitted.

But after descending only two turns of the stairs, Elise had to admit her assumption had been wrong.

The staircase was terribly narrow and steep, with no windows to the outside and no candle-brackets on the walls. The only light came faintly through some gap in the ceiling, dimly lighting the way below.

Only now did it occur to her that she should have brought a candle. If she tumbled down here, her bones might well shatter.

Elise kept every bit of attention on her footing and made her way down the spiraling staircase for a long while.

Just as the endlessly winding stairs began to bring on a faint dizziness, she reached a firmly shut door.

Through a hand's-width window set a little higher than her eyes, soft morning sunlight was filtering in.

Elise rose on her toes and pressed her eye to the small round window. The view of the Grand Duke's study, which she hadn't looked into yesterday, filled her gold-colored eyes.

The neatly ordered desk and chair showed no sign at all of having been used the night before. Nor was the person she was looking for anywhere to be seen.

“I only meant to check his face….”

Should she go in for a moment? Since the door existed for exactly this purpose, surely it wouldn't be so rude to step in and wait.

Elise hesitated for a long while before laying her hand on the doorknob. The iron latch turned stiffly, catching against the mechanism.

But the door didn't open.

Something heavy must be blocking it from the other side, without question. However hard Elise pushed with all her strength, the door wouldn't budge.

There was only one reason the fastest route connecting the lord's study and bedroom would be blocked like this. The stairs had gone out of use. Which meant the room above was, naturally, a bedchamber he no longer used.

Well—the lord's bedchamber sat at the top of the main tower precisely to keep out intruders. There was no reason a knight, and a yon'gyn besides, would need to insist on the topmost floor at such inconvenience to himself.

Elise let out a gloomy sigh and stepped back from the door. The thought of climbing all the way back up left her feeling utterly drained.

Was this her punishment for skulking about like some sneak-thief? She shouldn't have done anything so foolish.

Perhaps if she waited a while, he might return to the study? But rather than the awkwardness of coming face to face through the round window of a blocked door, it was a hundred times better to climb diligently back up to the bedroom now.

Elise gave the door one last, hard push. It still didn't so much as stir.

“…Really!”

A surge of frustration welled up in her. Elise clenched her fist tight and struck the door—thunk—with it. How pathetic could a person be!

It was at that exact moment that she heard a sound of movement from the other side of the door.

Elise flinched back a few steps in surprise. Through the small window, someone's wide, startled eyes were staring back at her.

Every window in the bedroom atop the tower had been thrown wide open.

Yvessa, along with Laria—newly assigned to attend the Princess—worked diligently to clean the bedroom and sitting room. The stone walls held a cool chill even in late spring's warmth, and with the draft being considerable besides, airing the room out while the Princess was present tended to be difficult.

While the two ladies-in-waiting were putting their full effort into finishing the cleaning quickly during their mistress's absence, a man's figure appeared in the sitting room, and Yvessa stopped her feather duster.

“Your Grace.”

It was the Grand Duke. He threw a glance toward the bedroom, half-visible through the open door.

“Is she in there?”

“Pardon?”

Yvessa's expression turned puzzled.

“Her Highness went down some while ago, Your Grace….”

Rezet's brow furrowed faintly at the unexpected turn. Gone out, this early in the morning?

It wasn't yet quite eight o'clock. Elise generally woke somewhere around that hour.

He'd stopped by meaning to check on her welfare before heading out to inspect the territory. He'd only meant to confirm she was sleeping soundly and then leave—and now she'd already woken and gone downstairs?

“Today she rose earlier than usual. She went down to the study about an hour ago—it seems the two of you must have crossed paths.”

“And what were you doing, not staying by her side?”

“She was quite insistent on going alone, Your Grace. She was firm about it, so I couldn't bring myself to force my way along with her. My apologies.”

“…I see.”

The castle had many stairs and many corridors. But he'd heard that Lady Phaetyson and Alfredo had already shown her most of the castle's layout. And he'd been told she was eating properly and taking her medicine on schedule, so at the very least there was no cause to worry she'd lost her way somewhere, or collapsed anywhere unseen.

Rezet looked around the tastefully arranged room. The bedchamber, empty for nearly fifteen years, had transformed beyond recognition. Suitably luxurious, suitably comfortable, and thoroughly secure. Nothing about it struck his eye as lacking.

“Nothing unusual happened?”

“No, sir.”

Rezet read hesitation in the maid's face and narrowed his eyes. It was unthinkable for a servant to weigh her words before her lord's question.

“Speak. Everything, even the smallest thing.”

“…It's just—she seemed to have trouble sleeping the past two days. She woke several times in the middle of the night as well, it seems, but since she didn't call for me, I only learned of it once the sun had risen.”

“Trouble sleeping?”

Rezet's brow creased faintly. He cast his mind back over the past three months.

Back when she'd first been caught by him, back when she was cutting wounds into her own body—Elise had, without question, been plagued with nightmares, often. Trembling in her sleep like she was seized by fits, or letting slip a groan—that had come often, too.

But on the road to Lothier, she'd slept sound clean through the small hours, hadn't woken once—