IYTTEPAAK Chapter 11

"Of course I wouldn't. I've got an image to maintain. What I like is being worshipped by men—not the men themselves. And while I'm on the subject, let me say it now: I intend to live nobly, gloriously alone, until I'm at least forty, reigning as the goddess of high society."

"Your dedication to self-improvement really is thorough."

"Thank you for the compliment, Sasha."

Unlike me, Orlette and Nanaën had come with ladies-in-waiting instead of knights. I was curious.

"Lete, where's your knight?"

"Crying in bed."

"......I'm going to need you to clarify whether you made him cry in bed."

"I did not."

I was surprised. It had been a long time since I'd heard Orlette sigh.

"He's an enormous crybaby. He's probably seen some awful things, because he's been crying in his room all day. He says he's too scared to set foot outside my quarters, so I've just been leaving him be."

There could be knights with tender hearts too, I supposed. I understood.

"Nana, what about yours?"

"Mine's in his room too. He's not in any state to be taken anywhere."

"How do you mean?"

"Don't even ask. Not a knight—feels more like I took in some wildcat."

Something about that phrase conjured an image.

"Is he on a hunger strike or something?"

"Yes. I'm worried. What am I supposed to do? I don't want to have to chop off my own homeland's prisoner's head."

"Very funny."

We both let out a soft laugh together—and then I caught myself.

I'd forgotten Regen was standing right behind us. I glanced over, and sure enough, his expression had gone subtle in a way I didn't like, so I hurried to explain myself.

"This is just how the imperial palace is. Don't take it to heart."

Nanaën startled visibly.

"Sister, what was that sweet tone of voice?"

"......"

"Shock. First time hearing it. Sister's lost her mind."

"......"

"Try it on Lete once—I bet she'll show you exactly how much she loves her baby sister."

Orlette waved a hand as though she didn't even want to think about it.

"Don't. Someone might see, besides. That's enough chatter—let's each go our own way now."

"Yes. Be well."

"Yes. May your day be safe as well, sisters."

After the brief encounter with the Mad Emperor's daughters, Regen toured the main palace under Sasha's guidance.

The main palace was made up of a central hall and two wing buildings flanking it.

"The wings house the noble officials who serve the imperial household and the empire. The important facilities are all in the central hall, so most social gatherings and ceremonies are held there."

An opera theater, a chapel, a banquet hall, a library, a ballroom. Grand, ornate spaces appeared without pause wherever his steps led him.

Even the corridors were crowded with things that pulled the eye. Along the antique wainscoting hung paintings and statues, large and small, filling every span of wall.

"It's enough to put a gallery to shame."

"More accurate to call it a hall of loot. All of it was probably looted from somewhere."

"......"

The empire's most cynical person, Regen thought, was probably its own princess.

"This area here is off-limits. It's the real loot hall."

"The treasury?"

"Yes. Beyond that door is where the looted spoils are kept. When His Majesty grants a reward, he has something pulled out from in there, one piece at a time."

Not a pleasant place, Sasha said, and moved her steps elsewhere.

Regen followed a step behind her.

Why. Not the artwork lining the halls—her back, straight, walking ahead of him. That was what kept catching his eye.

"I think that's enough of the main palace. Let's go out."

Once outside the building, Sasha paused, seeming to think over where to go next. Her lips, colored the deep hue of a flower, breathed out a puff of white.

Now that the two of them were alone somewhere he no longer had to mind other eyes and ears, Regen opened his mouth. It was, perhaps, a little impulsive.

"Sasha."

"Yes?"

"Were you trying to bind Sir Jerome?"

"......"

The pale sky-blue eyes turned toward him. Her look asked, plainly, why he'd bothered to bring it up now, after the fact.

Still, Regen decided to press the point.

"I'd rather you didn't."

"Can you tell me why?"

"It was unpleasant."

The displeasure of a right—his alone—being trespassed on by someone else.

To put it plainly, it was something close to possessiveness.

"Sir Regen, that's—"

Sasha's expression faltered slightly, and she lowered her eyes.

Regen understood what that meant. Guilt.

"That's not Sir Regen's own feeling."

"I know."

It was one of the side effects of mental domination.

The imperial house's power compelled its bound subject—Regen—into loyalty and devotion toward its master—Sasha. In the process, it injected false feeling into him.

A moderate degree of loyalty, his own will could have simply pushed aside. But this had been excessive.

Possessiveness, of all things.

Regenhart Lohengrin had never once, in twenty-five years of living, felt anything like it. And yet now, something in him had stirred at the sight of Sasha trying to force another knight to his knees, right in front of his eyes.

A ripple, for now. But if it grew into a raging swell later—what then?

He had set aside his freedom and his rights. But at the very least, his feelings ought to be his own.

Fortunately, Sasha understood it all—she was, after all, a clever princess.

"Now that I think about it...... since it isn't Sir Regen's own feeling, it's only right that I take responsibility for it. I understand."

"......"

"I'm sorry for making you feel something you didn't want to feel. I'll be careful."

Sasha made the promise like a perpetrator taking responsibility to her victim.

"I'm grateful for your consideration, Sasha."

Regen bowed his head, courteous and precise. Her clean acceptance of the fault eased something in him.

Possessiveness of any kind could never become his own feeling.

So long as the princess kept watch over herself, he would never have cause to feel such a thing again.

That, he decided.

Touring the dozens of gardens in full was hopeless. It seemed best to see one or two with real character today and then head back.

One particular place came to mind right away.

"Sir Regen, do you like mazes?"

"Mazes?"

"There's a hedge-maze garden shaped like a labyrinth. This way."

We arrived at a space where evergreens showed off their green even in the dead of winter. Red-leaf hollies, standing well over Regen's height, had been pruned straight and angular, forming the walls of the maze.

"It's about the size of a small drill ground. There are exactly four entrances—north, south, east, and west—so you have to be careful to find your way."

He must have caught something bright in the way I walked ahead of him. Regen ventured a quiet remark.

"This place seems to hold some memories for you."

"Yes. I have a memory of getting lost here as a child and nearly freezing to death."

"......"

"I didn't even know something as simple as always turning left, so it was genuinely dangerous."

"......Is that really a fond memory?"

"Yes. Hamel came and found me."

I laid the precious memory open. I'd been nine. It wasn't long after I'd been given the title of princess.

"A winter night, no moon. Hands and feet frozen stiff, aching. Hadn't eaten since lunch—starving on top of it. And on top of that—the wind, the branches scraping—why was it all so eerie, so frightening?"

"......"

"Curled up in the corner, and sleep came creeping, soft. I thought, well, that's convenient—I'll just sleep, and when I wake up and the sun's out, I'll find my way again."

"You would have died, had you fallen asleep then."

"Yes. I very nearly did drift off and die. But then someone called my name and wrapped me up in a warm blanket and held me. It was Hamel. Honestly, I was so surprised. I'd just assumed I had to find my own way out by myself...... I never once dreamed someone would come looking for me. And she even held me warmly on top of it."

"......"

"That was the first time I'd ever been held like that, and it felt so good that afterward, I used to deliberately hide in the maze garden in winter, pretending to be lost. That stopped being necessary once Hamel figured out what I was really after by causing trouble."

"......"

"So it's a happy memory."

I still remembered exactly where I'd hidden back then. I was thinking of going to see it again, to relive the memory a little.

"Did Lady Hamel come find you every time you got into mischief?"

"Yes."

"Only Lady Hamel?"

"What?"

"What was your precious brother doing, all that time?"

"......"

I hadn't configured a brother-memory yet.

"My brother found me too."

"He didn't hold you, though, I'd guess."

"Held me too. Of course."

Thankfully, my own voice sounded smooth even to my own ears.

I was relieved I'd managed to answer well without stumbling, but for some reason Regen was looking at me blankly.

"......"

"......"

I realized what was causing this awkward air. Right now, he seemed to be debating whether or not he ought to hug me.