LADAD Chapter 15

From early morning, she had been alone with many thoughts.

Even though nothing special had happened, she deliberately went back and forth to the temple, scanning through the people with her eyes because Ivan wasn't there. Because she was worried that Ivan might not come today either.

And the end of those thoughts always led to worry about what might have happened to Ivan.

"...Nothing bad has happened, right?"

Amelia bit her nails and paced restlessly around her bedroom, worrying about Ivan. He was the first person she had met without being swayed by Aaron. He was a friend.

So Amelia sincerely hoped that no storms would befall him.

"Why didn't you come last week?"

So it was only natural that she was very pleased to see no signs of hardship on Ivan's face when she encountered him today. But at the same time, a small resentment bloomed.

"Last time I waited here alone and then went back. Do you know how worried I was...?"

'Knowing how much I like you. Knowing how much I depend on you. How could you not say a word.'

"You waited for me?"

Ivan asked in response to her words mixed with resentment.

"Of course. You were the one who said we'd see each other next week first."

Amelia, who had been honestly pouring out her thoughts without thinking deeply, hesitated. She felt like she was asking for too much despite not being family or lovers.

"I wasn't meaning to blame you..."

Amelia let her words trail off as she read the situation. Ivan was completely free. He had even said he would soon quit being an apprentice priest and leave. Yet even in such circumstances, he had made time to come see Amelia. Amelia had no right to force or constrain him.

"Yes. We had made a promise."

However, Ivan readily acknowledged the promise he had made with Amelia. As if Amelia's cautious attitude, unable to even finish her words, was amusing.

"Something came up."

"You weren't sick, were you?"

Ivan nodded at Amelia's question.

"I wasn't sick."

"......"

"Just had some troublesome business."

And with a smoothly smiling face, he evaded Amelia's subtle interrogation.

"Did you resolve the matter well?"

"No, not yet."

Ivan answered as he sat down. His voice was indifferent but somehow sounded cold. At least that's how it sounded to Amelia. She was about to press him with questions, wondering if something bad had happened, when Amelia discovered a pouch or something tied around his waist between the folds of his robe.

"But I came to keep today's promise."

Round black eyes sparkled with curiosity. Seeing the curiosity in Amelia's eyes, Ivan brought his hand to the pouch tied around his waist.

"Please forgive me."

But he didn't untie the string. Amelia stared at that hand for a long time before her gaze moved from Ivan's hand to his face.

"If you say you will, I'll open it for you."

The man set a condition with a nonchalant face. It was a condition she couldn't possibly refuse.

"I will."

Amelia pretended to shoot Ivan a reproachful look for a moment before answering. She hadn't really had any heart to blame Ivan in the first place. To be completely honest, Amelia was someone who feared he might get angry and never come to see her again. She didn't want to go against his mood.

"What is this?"

At Amelia's question, Ivan sat down and separated the pouch from his clothes. Then he opened its mouth wide. A sweet smell began to spread faintly through the air.

"Caramels."

Amelia's eyes, which had been following the invisible scent, widened. She couldn't understand Ivan's intention in suddenly offering caramels.

"Why this?"

Amelia asked, staring blankly at the pouch that had fallen into her palm. While desserts were indeed precious, it wasn't something Amelia had never tried before.

"The promise to get you chicken skewers last time."

But the moment Ivan's answer followed, Amelia understood everything.

"Since I couldn't keep it."

It was an apology.

"Alcohol doesn't smell if you just close the lid, but food was a bit difficult."

At the same time, it was also a sign of interest. Not forgetting even a promise made in passing - that's what we usually call interest, after all.

"Of course, I know caramels probably aren't that special to you, but please understand."

Even while listening to his excuse, her heart pounded. Amelia couldn't even think of reaching for the caramels in the pouch and just stared up at Ivan.

"...You remembered that promise and brought this?"

Ivan nodded at Amelia's question. As if asking why else would he have brought it.

"I heard desserts are expensive. Wasn't it hard to get?"

Amelia carefully spoke up. Ivan was silent for a while. After some time passed, he shook his head, as if he had been pondering something and holding back his words.

'It couldn't have been easy.'

There was no answer. Moreover, all he showed was just a fragment of a smile. But Amelia guessed as much. They said that commoners couldn't easily manage three meals a day even when it wasn't a year of famine.

"Thank you..."

Tears welled up. The cloth pouch lost its original shape and crumpled in Amelia's small hands. Amelia barely managed to express her gratitude with a tearful voice.

"You're the first person to apologize like this just to keep a promise made with me."

Indescribable emotions washed over her. Ivan quietly watched Amelia as she rambled incoherently. As if he had realized he was someone who didn't know how to respond to the emotions Amelia was pouring out.

"......"

During the quiet that continued, Amelia suddenly raised her head. Green eyes that shone more transparently in the light met black eyes directly. Neither avoided the other's gaze. It remained the same even after a suffocatingly quiet moment passed for a long time.

At that moment, Amelia had one thought.

'Perhaps.'

"Ivan."

Amelia didn't hesitate. However, she opened her mouth carefully. Ivan didn't answer. But his eyes, which slowly closed and opened at Amelia's call, answered instead. He was listening to what Amelia had to say.

"Of course, I know what I'm about to say might sound strange."

Amelia's lips trembled as she continued speaking. It was from nervousness. Amelia fidgeted like someone who didn't know what to do with her two hands suspended in air.

"......"

Then when Ivan's gaze touched her hands, she hurriedly clasped them together and pulled them down.

"Why have you been remembering your promise with me until now?"

Ivan remained silent, but Amelia thought it was because he was waiting for her to continue speaking. Though she hadn't known him for several years, she thought Ivan wasn't such a good-natured young man that he would quietly listen to nonsense.

"Actually, you know."

"......"

"It was just a passing promise - even if you had forgotten, I wouldn't have reproached you. I wouldn't have asked you to bring me chicken skewers or anything. For not coming last week, I could have understood if you just said you had circumstances."

Amelia spoke haltingly.

"Why did you specifically bring caramels as an apology?"

But despite that seemingly clumsy way of speaking, Amelia was gaining confidence in what she was saying as she continued.

"You could have just ignored it. Even if you remembered, you could have pretended not to know. But why did you want to apologize when I didn't even demand it?"

A gaze that begged him to give her the answer she wanted met his.

"Perhaps."

"......"

"Me..."

Amelia raised her trembling hand, trembling as much as the voice she was letting out. And she carefully but desperately grasped the edge of Ivan's sleeve. Like a child grasping one of their parent's fingers.

"You, what?"

Then Ivan spoke. As if the subtle silence flowing between them was uncomfortable. Or as if he was saying let's not beat around the bush about an answer he already knew. Amelia clamped her mouth shut.

"There's one month left."

'Of course, it might be a misunderstanding. It could be.'

"Do you like me?"

But her foolish intuition said it probably wasn't that. Amelia stared at Ivan, hoping the answer she wanted would come back.

"Is that why you brought this?"

Her heart beat like crazy. Amelia clung to Ivan desperately. And she shook his robe sleeve that she held in her hand, as if demanding an answer.

"Ivan."

Ivan's eyes, which had been groping through the air as if thinking about something, slowly rolled and stopped on Amelia's face.

"What about you?"

"......"

"Do you like me?"

Ivan asked. His roguish yet meticulous gaze was scanning and groping for traces of emotion on Amelia's face. She felt as if time had stopped. Amelia swallowed hard.

'Perhaps this might be an opportunity.'

That thought occurred to her. The moment that thought took hold of her head, Amelia didn't stop her body from moving. The moment their soft lips touched, the pouch fell helplessly to the floor.

At the same time, Ivan's sleeve was crumpled by Amelia's hand like the pouch that had contained the caramels.