LADAD Chapter 22

The cloth in her grip slipped smoothly through her fingers. Amelia was utterly spent and could only pant for breath, unable even to cry out. Within the castle where she had concealed herself in secret before the birth, the ceiling that met her gaze was strange and unfamiliar.

"If you lose consciousness like this, you'll both die!"

The midwife, called from a nearby village just before the child's birth, slapped Amelia's cheek and shouted.

"Pull yourself together!"

She had been taken aback by Amelia's features, faintly visible in the room illuminated by a single candle, but only for a moment. She couldn't simply stand there like a fool watching a woman young enough to be her daughter lying with her strength completely sapped.

"If you've no intention of killing the child, you must summon your strength!"

Just as her eyes were about to close drowsily, they snapped open at that warning.

How could she do such a thing to a child she had carried? Whose child was this?

From what she had heard through Aaron, Ivan was dead. The mercenary who had been moving Ivan was discovered dead near the riverside, having seemingly met with bandits, and the wagon too was found capsized and shattered in the river. And the man who should have been carried upon that wagon—whether he had drowned in the river or vanished entirely, not even a fragment of his body could be found in the vicinity, so they had abandoned the search after several months.

At this thought, she was struck by a sense of mission that she must bring this child into the world even if she had to pour out every ounce of her remaining strength. She couldn't let Ivan meet his newborn child in the afterlife. Not as long as the place where he dwelt was called death.

"Ugh, hah...!"

She barely managed to seize the cloth she had let slip once more. And she pushed the child out with all her fading strength. Her vision blurred white, so not even a scream would come.

"You're doing well! I can see the baby's head!"

Just a little more. Just a little more. The midwife encouraged her. Her jaw ached from clenching her teeth, and her hands hurt from gripping the cloth hung from the ceiling as if she would tear it apart. But more painful than that was the intense pain as if her body was being split in half.

"Oh my! Finally came out!"

At last, with the sensation of something sliding out entirely, relief washed over her. The midwife, with seasoned hands, immersed the child in warm water to cleanse away the blood, and gently struck the bottom of the baby who had yet to cry. Slap, at that light sound of contact, the baby erupted into wails.

"You did well."

That was the first sound the child made to the world. Amelia, lying exhausted, barely waved her hand in the air. Understanding her meaning, the midwife approached Amelia's side, holding the child wrapped in swaddling clothes.

"All fingers and toes are perfect. The face is also straight without anything twisted."

The midwife smiled and placed the child in Amelia's arms. Her face was as proud as if she were a mother-in-law seeing her grandchild.

"You must feel rewarded for giving birth to such a fine son. The long labor was worth it."

The midwife's hand unhesitatingly lifted Amelia's clothes, exposing her chest. And she brought the child's face close to her breast. Instinctively, the child began to suckle and latched onto the nipple. Amelia's body stiffened as she looked at the child's face with tender eyes.

"...Son?"

At Amelia's question, the midwife nodded firmly. It was definitely a sturdy son.

"Seeing that the baby's father hasn't come all this time, he must be no good, but his appearance seems decent enough."

While the husband who didn't exist was taking abuse, Amelia's mind began grinding into motion. The midwife straightened her aching knees to tend to the cleanup. There wasn't so much as a single attendant lingering about to assist the midwife. It appeared they wished to keep the number of people involved in the delivery to an absolute minimum, which was understandable if her identity was indeed that of a sacred maiden.

"Please keep it secret!"

It was a voice she couldn't raise too loud for fear of being heard outside. However, the midwife caught the faint scent of despair in Amelia's voice.

"I want to surprise him. So, please..."

With her extensive experience, this wasn't the first or second child she had delivered. While Amelia's reaction was somewhat unusual since most women despaired when it was a daughter, there must be a reason. From the start, it was strange for a woman suspected of being a sacred maiden to give birth to a child.

"Alright. I'll keep it secret, so don't get up while you still don't have strength and just lie down."

It was childbirth, nothing less. While it surely couldn't be concealed for long, she had no desire to add mental anguish to a woman who had just delivered. The midwife gently patted the back of Amelia's hand as she cradled the child and urged her to be at ease. Only then did the rigidity that had seized her shoulders finally dissolve.

"Thank, thank you."

When Amelia barely managed to express her gratitude, the midwife smiled broadly.

"You did well."

And she began busily moving about, saying she needed to clean up the blood-soaked cloths. Meanwhile, Amelia carefully stroked the forehead of the child who had already released the nipple and begun to doze.

"......"

Whatever gender the child was born, all of life would be suffering as long as it was Amelia's child. But when she learned the child was a son, a maddening unease descended upon her. If the child's gender was revealed, there was no knowing what might happen to the child's safety.

Whether she bore a daughter or a son, Amelia Escliffe would ultimately lead them to death. Her very existence seemed like a sin.

But more than that.

"Nice to meet you..."

Transparent tears dropped onto the child's face. Because of the bottomless, vast guilt.

More than the sorrow and anxiety of having gifted an imperfect existence, she was grateful for Ivan's shadow reflected in the child's face.

"Did you find him?"

At Ivan's question, Rodan shook his head with a defeated expression. As expected, Ivan's face had turned coldly stiff.

"It's been almost a year already."

"......"

"Does it make sense that you still haven't found him?"

It had been almost a year since they began tracking the black-haired man Ivan had switched out. At first, they thought finding one man who had escaped with just the clothes on his back would be easy. However, he proved unexpectedly difficult to track down.

They had already thoroughly combed the area around the temple, but nowhere was any trace of him found. Not even a single strand of black hair.

"My apologies."

Whether he had soared to the heavens or sunk into the ground was impossible to know. But they couldn't conduct a large-scale manhunt throughout the empire. The man hadn't committed any crime, after all. All Rodan could offer were words of apology.

"Capture him by any means necessary. He's one of the seeds that will grow in the hearts of those who falsely claimed to be God's representatives."

Suddenly, something Ivan had said before came to Rodan's mind. Ivan had mentioned two seeds.

"Your Majesty."

Then wasn't there one more option?

"I recall you saying there were two seeds."

Two seeds. Ivan slowly rolled his eyes, searching his memory.

"That's right."

And he gave an affirmative answer as if he had just remembered. From his reaction, it seemed he too had been forgetting about it until now.

"Truth is, by this point one of the seeds might have withered in the soil before it could even sprout."

"......"

"While we should keep pursuing him just to be safe, what if we made use of the other one?"

Rodan suggested. Ivan was silent for a moment. But from the fact that his previous displeasure wasn't visible, it could be guessed that he didn't view it negatively.

"The timing would be just right."

Ivan answered after finishing his calculations. His face had become much more cheerful.

"But may I ask what that seed is?"

Rodan asked fearlessly. Usually when Ivan was like this, he would tell the truth without getting irritated.

"The child in Amelia Escliffe's belly."

However, when Ivan revealed it without reservation, he couldn't help but be surprised.

"You said there's a child in the sacred maiden's belly?"

"If it's my child, it would have already come out into the world by now."

Ivan spoke with an indifferent face, stroking his chin.

"...You said the child in the sacred maiden's belly is Your Majesty's child?"

"Since she's not really God's representative but an ordinary human, she could conceive."

By that point, Rodan's mouth was hanging open as if his lower jaw might drop to the floor.

"The sacred maiden being pregnant is already unbelievable, but it could be Your Majesty's child?"

The beginning and end of the secret had been severed, with only the bare essence of truth delivered, so he couldn't help but be stunned. Even taking each revelation on its own, they were shocking.

"Because she spent the night with me."

"The note you sent me that day only said to guard near the door at dawn two days later."

Rodan barely managed not to shout through tremendous effort. However, his tone carried subtle anger.

"It wasn't a situation where I could give a long explanation."

Ivan was always like this. He always caused trouble first and informed Rodan of the facts later. Until now, there hadn't been any accidents big enough for Rodan to clean up after, but this time seemed a little different.

"Hah..."

Rodan raised his hand to wipe his face. In the past year, he felt like he was aging moment by moment because of Ivan-related matters.

"But if the sacred maiden had a child..."

I don't know. Rodan cheerfully gave up thinking.

"How do you plan to use this? You're not planning to steal away a child that would be inside their walls."

Since Ivan had already caused the trouble, all he could do was ask about his plan.

"Or are you going to proclaim it's Your Majesty's child...?"

Rodan asked carefully.

"As if."

Ivan chuckled and picked up a glass of poured alcohol. The amber liquid sparkled as it caught the indoor light through the transparent crystal glass.

"Even if it's my child, it would only be a bastard. It's not something to proudly announce to the empire."

"Then..."

"If what Amelia Escliffe gave birth to is a daughter, she'll have to follow the same path in life, and if it's a son, he'll die before long."

Rodan's eyes flew wide. From that curt, unforgiving explanation alone, he appeared to have grasped every unspoken implication.

"But it's okay because it's you."

"I hope there's already a child."

"So that I can keep remembering you."

Amelia Escliffe loves him.

Ivan was certain. Now that she thought their love had ended in tragedy, Amelia would harbor even more tender feelings toward Ivan.

"She'll want to protect that child."

So if a child had been born between them, she would want to shield it by any means. Even if it weren't their child, Amelia lacked the sort of nature that could abandon a small child.

Even though that would become,

"I'm going to exploit that sentiment, Rodan."

A savory seed of despair.