LADAD Chapter 23

During the three months granted to Amelia after giving birth, she never once let the child leave her embrace. She wouldn't even allow Louise to hold him once. She acted as sensitive as a beast that had just given birth to her young.

"Leave her be."

But thinking about it, Amelia had been sensitive even before giving birth. To be precise, ever since the night of her coming of age ceremony.

"You're going to push another man into my bedroom when I don't even know if I'm pregnant or not?"

Amelia trembled as she rebelled. She said to wait at least two months, that it wouldn't be too late to bring someone in after that. It was only natural—spending the night with a stranger whose face she didn't even know couldn't be pleasant.

"Fine. Three months. We'll wait and see."

Aaron seemed to think the same way, saying he would wait and see for a while. In any case, if Amelia started screaming and resisting, it would be difficult for them to resolve things quietly.

But unexpectedly, Amelia became pregnant on the first try. Naturally, there was no need to send another man to Amelia's bedroom.

"I'll do it."

"Pardon? How could the Holy Maiden herself do such..."

"Nursing, bathing—everything. I'll do it all, so don't let anyone touch the child. Do you understand?"

Even though the situation had improved, Amelia became even more sensitive than before. Like a wounded cat abandoned on the street, she couldn't bear anyone approaching her.

"I told you not to touch!"

She would become hysterical just seeing someone lay a hand on the child while she was briefly away.

At that point, suspicion began to arise that it wasn't simply sensitivity. If Louise was suspicious, Aaron must have been watching Amelia from even earlier. Sure enough, Louise received orders to check on the child's condition.

"..."

Amelia, who had just finished nursing the child, left her seat. She was probably hurrying to the bathroom. Louise, who had barely been able to properly see the child's face, carefully approached the baby sleeping on the bed.

"There's nothing special about the child, so why is she making such a fuss."

But the sleeping child was small and ordinary. It was almost disappointing how ordinary the child was, considering Amelia's excessive behavior. Louise began to think that mothers naturally became this sensitive after giving birth.

"As if someone's going to steal her baby."

Louise, who had been muttering, faltered. Come to think of it, the previous Amelias had never been able to hold their children in their arms and raise them. Since they had given birth to children of men they had never seen in their lives, there would have been no affection, but by the time they came to their senses, the children would have already been completely snatched away. If Amelia knew this fact, she might have felt terror.

"Both mother and daughter have such difficult fates."

Louise clicked her tongue and reached out to touch the hat the child was wearing. The hat was disheveled, so she wanted to adjust it properly.

"...?"

The hair showing from under the hat was strange. There should have been some black hair beginning to show, but it looked as if there was no hair at all.

"What are you doing?"

Just as Louise was about to remove the hat completely, a cold voice pierced her ears. Louise flinched and pulled her hand away from the child, stepping back.

"Oh, the hat seemed crooked, so I was trying to fix it."

She smiled as if she had no ill intentions. Amelia crossed the threshold of the bedroom, watching Louise's movements with her eyes.

"But it seems the baby's hair hasn't grown yet. I couldn't see a single strand of hair."

"He's just developing slowly."

Louise casually brought up the topic. Amelia calmly made excuses that the child's development seemed delayed. Louise's eyes sharpened. Although Amelia was putting on her usual face, her pupils were trembling slightly.

"I wonder if he might be sick?"

Louise tossed out the words casually. It was natural enough that it was hard to see any particular intention.

"Giving birth is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. If the child is sick, it would be terrible. How about showing the child to a doctor?"

She suggested that it might be good to see a doctor, saying the child might be sick. If there was nothing to hide, there was no reason for Amelia to refuse such a proposal.

"No, I don't think that's necessary. Look how well he's sleeping. He eats well usually too."

"I see. I understand."

However, Amelia refused the suggestion with an awkward smile. Louise didn't press Amelia twice. She simply bowed lightly with a smiling face and left Amelia's bedroom.

"Tell the High Priest that I should return to duty now."

There was no need to force anything. It would only create unnecessary resistance from Amelia. It was just a matter of wielding power.

"..."

Amelia blinked her sunken eyes and chewed her nails. She hadn't been able to sleep all night due to anxiety.

Yesterday's memory was vivid. The eyes that had calmly scanned Amelia's face, and even the trajectory of the gaze that had touched the child before falling away. It seemed Louise had definitely noticed something.

"What should I do?"

She knew she couldn't postpone the farewell with her child forever. She also knew she couldn't hide the child's gender forever. Just having the child by her side now was already a mercy granted to Amelia.

"What should I do, Ian?"

Her steps naturally headed toward the baby's crib. Light began to slant across the soft, delicate skin.

"Ian."

Amelia called the baby's name in a sorrowful voice. It was a name she had thought about for a long time, but had never been able to call in front of others. It was also a name she would never be able to call in the future.

"My baby..."

The name Ian was taken from Ivan. Whether it was because of the difference of just one letter, or because the shadow of that father still flickered across the young child's face, Amelia naturally found herself thinking of that beloved face.

The moment a knock was heard from beyond the bedroom door, tears welled up. She had a premonition that she would soon face the final moment with her child. She knew that with her strength alone, she would ultimately be unable to protect this last trace of Ivan.

"You're awake?"

Even though she hadn't given permission to enter, Louise opened the bedroom door and stepped inside. Her smiling face had a subtly cold aura mixed in. Louise was also Aaron's cousin. The blood of that family couldn't have gone anywhere.

"The High Priest sent a letter. He says he would like the Holy Maiden to return to duty now."

"Ah, the child..."

"Originally, the child should be sent directly to Count Skipper's villa, but since the Holy Maiden has grown so attached..."

Louise's gaze turned toward the baby's crib. Amelia squeezed between them as if to protect Ian from Louise.

"For now, let's go together. You still have some of the permitted days left to be with the child. We can say you happened to pick up an abandoned child while touring various places."

Of course, Louise paid no attention to Amelia's protective attitude. She was simply being generous, saying she would allow Amelia to be with the child for the remaining permitted time.

"I'll tell them to bring your luggage later. For now, please get in the carriage first. He sent a carriage in advance so you could travel comfortably."

In fact, this was close to mockery—telling her not to make meaningless resistance since the moment the secret would be revealed was unavoidable anyway.

"I'll help you get dressed."

Louise brought Amelia's clothes hanging on the wall. Then she helped her undress from her nightgown and change clothes. Originally, Louise had also received such service from maids, but here Louise was in a position to help Amelia.

It was natural. To keep secrets, fewer people should know. Everyone who knew about the affairs here would die anyway. There was no need to go through the trouble of killing all the servants.

"Shall I hold the baby?"

Louise's gaze turned toward Ian, who was beginning to fuss. Amelia hurried to the bed and picked up the child.

"I thought you would do that. Bring him along."

Louise turned and went outside without looking back, as if she had expected this. Amelia's gaze turned to the baby in her arms.

"Good boy."

When she swayed her body to soothe him, Ian quickly found peace. In fact, it seemed he found stability in his mother's body temperature rather than the soothing motion. Ian was such a good and gentle baby.

"I'm sorry."

Amelia murmured softly. Tender feelings and guilty feelings crossed countless times.

Would it have been better if she had entrusted the child to the midwife's hands and sent him away immediately after birth? If she could turn back time, she wanted to do that. Or if she could die here and protect Ian, she wanted to do that.

"Holy Maiden!"

But that wasn't possible.

Outside, Louise's voice calling for Amelia could be heard. Amelia reluctantly took a step like a beast being dragged on a leash.

"Departing!"

The door closed quietly, ending with Amelia's retreating figure. The rattling sound of carriage wheels rolling was the last noise left in that space.