MHHC Chapter 144

A Fearsome Resolve

"Adele."

She startled slightly at the force with which he caught her. Across the back of the hand cupping her narrow abdomen, the tendons stood out in sharp relief.

That finely trembling hand—it looked almost desperate, as though even death could not make it let go.

"...Valentin."

"I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?"

The moment Adelheid showed the faintest discomfort, his hands released her at once.

He stood frozen in the space between, unable to move one way or the other—and then reached out again, taking hold of her forearm with a lighter grip.

"Are you hurt anywhere? You nearly lost your footing just now."

"I'm fine. Nothing's wrong."

Adelheid felt him bow his upper body, very slowly. The breath that drew close grazed her nape in a shallow sweep. His exhale carried something faint—the unmistakable residue of relief.

Valentin pressed his lips carefully into the hair flowing down over her shoulder, and whispered.

"It's enough that you're not hurt. I was simply startled, at first. To find you alone, without your escort..."

Escort. Come to think of it, the knight assigned to guard her today had been nowhere in sight.

Had they stepped away briefly? Or had there been some other urgent matter? Whatever the reason, for someone who had trusted so completely in her guard's presence, the realization was more than a little unsettling.

'It could have been truly dangerous. It was fortunate that Valentin arrived when he did.'

Letting out a belated breath of relief, Adelheid suddenly realized she had not yet properly looked at his face.

Under ordinary circumstances, he would have sought her gaze relentlessly the moment they met—and yet now he was behaving strangely.

'Why?'

That is to say, this was almost as though—he didn't want her to see his face.

"Just a moment. Only a little longer, like this."

As if he had sensed her suspicion, Valentin made his request. His lips touched her shoulder.

Through the point of contact, she felt his trembling. Not merely the trembling—his relief, his fear, his grief, and a bone-deep endurance she had no name for—all of it transmitted through that single narrow place where their skin met. It was a strange thing.

She was human enough that her heart weakened with alarming ease. Adelheid held herself still, her breath suspended, bearing the weight of him.

This precarious peace was precious to her, too. But to pretend not to notice what she had already noticed—too much had broken, by now, for that.

"Valentin."

Adelheid firmly disentangled his hands and turned to face him. And she was startled by how much more gaunt he had become in the few days since she had last seen him.

The deepened shadows at his eyes, the hollowed cheeks—still striking, and yet sharpened now into something that recalled a starving animal.

"What is it, Adelheid?"

Valentin, who had been watching her with a rigid expression, finally managed a smile—barely. It was a smile so precarious it seemed on the verge of collapse, and yet at the same time distantly, devastatingly beautiful.

Adelheid held her weakening heart with both hands. She could not retreat here. She drew a deep breath and released it.

"There's something I've been meaning to ask you. It's a very important matter to me, so I need you to answer... honestly."

"No, Adele."

Her eyes went wide at his refusal.

She had imagined this moment—the act of asking him, and his answer—countless times. But she had never once imagined he would refuse so flatly.

"What do you mean, no—"

"If you want to extract answers from me, you'll need to offer a fair trade."

"A fair—"

"You still haven't learned to wield your will, have you."

"...I'm not in the mood for wordplay. What I intended to ask today is a genuinely important matter to me—"

"Yes. It has never once been wordplay. It's an equally important matter to me, as well."

She looked at him with bewildered eyes.

It would have been cleaner to simply admit it. Anything, rather than harden her suspicions through evasion like this.

The heart she had strained so hard to keep trusting felt as though it had been thrown, without warning, face-first into the mud. Adelheid wrapped her arms around herself against the fine trembling that had begun.

"You already know what I'm trying to ask, don't you."

"......"

"...What did you do to Father Padre? What did you do, and how, for him to have been like that—"

"Father Padre?"

He narrowed his eyes, asking it back. His furrowed brow, as though searching through memories, looked almost innocent.

And Adelheid realized she had already arrived at a suspicion she could not take back.

"I'm not sure. The name doesn't come to mind."

"......"

"I'm also not sure why you're suddenly behaving like this."

Well. He was not unaware. If he had truly been unaware, he would not be this defensive.

Adelheid recited them like a prayer each time her heart threatened to weaken.

Kook. Laura. The people of Nassau Castle.

If the Princess had committed an unforgivable sin against the Valentin of the past, then whoever had issued that oracle had also committed an unforgivable act, using the Princess's sin as the instrument. If only the sins had been directed at her alone—she would have gladly embraced Valentin's transgressions. She would have held him with a heart of atonement. But this. This alone she could not absorb. The lives, the fates, of every person entangled in this tragedy.

"If you insist to the very end that you don't know... very well. I'll find out on my own, somehow."

"......"

"You said that once I could wield my 'origin,' I could do anything, didn't you? That reading the past is no different from reading a book. I'll do exactly as you said—if that's all you have to tell me."

"......"

"And after all the truth has come to light, if you truly—with me—did such..."

She stopped, swallowing the emotion that rose in her throat, and steadied her breathing.

"If such things were done by someone's deliberate will, I will not forgive them. Whoever it may be."

"...Whoever it may be?"

"Yes. Even if it is you, Valentin."

"A fearsome resolve, Adele."

Even at that declaration—resolute to the point of mercilessness—Valentin only smiled, faintly.

Adelheid stared at him with wide, startled eyes. Was it confidence? Or was he truly innocent? Whatever it was, it was not the expression one would show to someone who doubted them.

Confusion written across her face, she met Valentin's gaze carefully. In the eyes that looked back at her rested, astonishingly, the same unwavering affection as always.

"......"

He gently took hold of her chin and lifted it, and his thumb swept across her parted lips.

Adelheid exhaled an unsteady breath and let her eyes fall half-closed. Her heart beat at the sensation of his firm fingertips pressing into the thin, fragile skin—tracing it, disturbing it.

"Why..."

At Valentin's face drawing near at an angle, her breath came faster. As if in anticipation. Forgetting propriety, forgetting shame.

She was wary of him, doubting him—and simultaneously feeling a fierce, magnetic pull she could not explain away. The understanding of this made her feel contemptibly corrupt. Adelheid whispered, pouring the last of her desperation into the words.

"Why... do you never deny what I say?"

"......"

"If you had only told me you didn't do it—even words like that... You've always been truthful with me, until now. So I truly would have believed anything you said..."

"Choice is a human privilege. Whatever I do or say, your conclusion will be the same."

"......"

"Amusing, isn't it. I'm already afraid—and the things that will make you hate me haven't even begun yet."

Again. Incomprehensible words. Adelheid twisted her expression and dropped her gaze away from his.

"I'm tired of riddles. If you won't speak plainly, I'd rather you say nothing at all."

"Adelheid."

He called her name as if asking her to look at him. When Adelheid kept her eyes stubbornly fixed on the floor, Valentin let out a slow breath and said,

"I didn't intend for us to be arguing the moment we saw each other."

"......"

"The subjugation begins at dawn. Five houses volunteered for the vanguard. Ansgar has put its name forward as well."

At those words, Adelheid forgot momentarily that she had been angry.

"The monsters have long since broken free of any control. Their purpose now is singular. The extinction of mankind—because I, once, desired that very thing."

"......"

"They move according to their purpose. Unable to match the humans otherwise, they've multiplied their numbers and organized themselves into something resembling a human army. What distinguishes them from humans is that they have no fear of injury to their own bodies. That is what makes them more dangerous."

A silence, brief.

"Your assignment will be changed from Ansgar to the rear support unit. Nassau Castle will serve as the final defensive line, and I'll leave Donovan behind so that you want for nothing—"

"I cannot allow that."

Adelheid's head snapped up.

"You mean to leave me here? What about Ansgar's soldiers? I can't have them go into the subjugation without a healer. I know I'm not yet skilled enough to be fully trusted—I know that—but even I, imperfect as I am, would be of more use than no one at all—"

"Adelheid. It isn't a matter of trust."

"Then what? I am not here as someone's wife or as a noblewoman. I am attached to this army as a healer. I am prepared to fulfill my role to the full extent of my position."

She gritted her teeth briefly against the emotion that surfaced in her chest.

"You know how hard I've worked for this..."

"I'm not trying to diminish that effort. And I'm certainly not saying you're without value."

"Then why."

"As things stand, the subjugation is expected to be a battle of speed. Three weeks to a month, and it will all be over. The wounded will receive minimal treatment before being transferred here. Your duties are entirely possible from the rear unit."

Adelheid stared at him as though she couldn't believe what she was hearing.