NOMAMWTM Chapter 30

"Michael is strong, so why don't you try releasing it? If you release it, you'll see for real that I can't control my magic. It's a bit much for me to say this myself, but I'm not a monster—I'm a human who can't even control the one power I have."

Michael didn't even pretend to listen.

"Really."

"Are you trying to remove that necklace and kill me?"

He had a talent for saying frightening things with an emotionless face and voice.

Charlotte looked down at the necklace with regretful eyes and fiddled with it.

If she went into a rampage state and showed him she couldn't control her power, he might actually believe her.

But now that she'd said it out loud, she was very, very afraid of actually going into a rampage, so she didn't bring it up again.

[Master, that's the power from back then, right? Are you crazy if it's real?]

Below her, only Nero—who at least believed her words that she was human—chattered noisily, squeak squeak.

"...Anyway, how I found out about this."

She returned to the original story about the past.

"It was a day when my mother locked me in my room and went out, and I went into a rampage just like that. Fire broke out then... Um."

'Mother! Mother! Motherrr!'

Inside a room where crimson flames blazed fiercely.

She called for her mother until her voice went hoarse, and in a state where her head spun from inhaling too much smoke, fire shot up and consumed everything except the door and her alone.

Flames undulating threateningly, pitch-black burnt smell. That terrible day when she was covered in tears, unable to get out, feeling the terror of dying like this over and over until she finally fainted.

After that, every time young Charlotte was locked up, she was consumed by memories of that day and scratched at the door until her nails broke and bled.

That terror had only barely faded after her first childhood friend comforted her and she learned and learned again how to cut off her emotions.

Charlotte pressed down the rising memories and continued speaking.

"...It hurt so much, and I was so scared. I fainted, but when I came to later, my mother had saved me. She'd returned just in time, fortunately."

She glanced at Michael.

She didn't expect much, but she hoped he might show even a little compassion.

"..."

But his face remained indifferent as ever. No, for some reason he seemed colder than before.

"...So?"

At the unexpected reaction, Charlotte stared at him blankly, then startled.

"What?"

Michael met her eyes directly for the first time. Blue eyes gazed at her coldly.

"So what happened? How did you overcome it?"

Charlotte blinked.

She should be glad for the interest, but the question felt strangely sharp.

But she couldn't not answer.

What came next was difficult, but it was also a memory she cherished.

"...Well, actually I still haven't overcome it. Once I start remembering, it gets pretty hard. But back then... by a really strange coincidence, I made a friend. Not a friend I made by going out—after my mother restored the room, magic must have remained strangely because sometimes I'd hear a voice from the water. I couldn't see their face, just heard a voice, but that child listened to me so much that it really helped a lot."

Charlotte lowered her eyes.

'Lotte.'

Once she started talking, that calm voice she still hadn't forgotten seemed to ring in her ears.

"It was a boy five years older than me, and coincidentally he'd also had a rampage not long before. So we became close faster. He was much more mature than me—"

"...Ha."

At the sudden hollow laugh, she continued speaking as if entranced, then turned her head. Then froze.

Though he'd been cold throughout, Michael's expressionless brow had twisted.

"...Is it fun digging through memories?"

"What?"

Digging through memories—she blinked, unable to understand what that suddenly meant.

Michael stared at her steadily.

He only looked at her without saying anything, but something felt off.

Eventually he let out a hollow, bitter laugh.

"Michael...?"

Charlotte reflexively looked back to see if she'd made some mistake.

But she hadn't said anything that would bother him.

She'd only talked about her most precious friend—why?

"How long are you going to keep this up."

But his face only twisted more and more.

Charlotte was genuinely flustered.

"No, why suddenly—"

"I'll rest for a bit. May I stop playing along?"

Before she could even try to figure out what was wrong, he cut off her words sharply.

For some reason, his voice carried a breathless emptiness.

Terrible fatigue showed on his face. Very suddenly.

And "playing along" sounded like he'd been humoring her act this whole time.

"If you're really human, go back today."

"No—"

"See, you're not human after all."

While Charlotte silently moved only her lips, he asked and answered on his own, then turned his back and began walking away.

"...No, wait! I'm going, I am!"

She lost her words and stared at his retreating back as he walked away without hesitation, then scooped up Nero from the floor and hurried after him.

She couldn't understand any of it—she'd only talked about her past, so why was he angry, why did he say something about digging through memories—but as he said, she was human, and she'd made up her mind to try desperately until Michael thought of her as human.

[Why is he like that?]

"How should I know? Michael, let's go together!"

He trudged along but his speed was so fast that Charlotte dashed after Michael, who was already climbing the stairs.

After that, Michael became even colder.

An even colder gaze followed her every movement, and whenever she tried to say anything, he either retorted that he didn't want to hear it or mostly just ignored her.

To the point where she wondered what he'd do if she really was a monster planning to harm everyone here.

The cool disregard he'd shown her until now was nothing.

Eventually Charlotte tried all night to say something to him until she grew tired and gave up.

Lying in bed, she stared for a long while at Michael's back as he said just one word—I'm turning it off—and switched off the light, then turned her body the other way and gripped the blanket tightly.

She was trying too, and tears threatened to trickle out since she didn't know why and the situation had suddenly gotten worse.

But soon, she buried her face deep in the pillow.

'This won't do, Charlotte Ethel. No, Charlotte Cardium.'

It had only been a week since she made her resolution.

Rather than feel sad, she should be angry.

Charlotte pouted her lips childishly.

'I was explaining that I'm human while telling him about the past that's hard even to think about, hard even to talk about.'

'Does he think it's easy to say that, to try that hard?'

'I wouldn't even be surprised if he said I made it all up, so why did he suddenly say I was digging through memories.'

...No, wait.

Charlotte was successfully working herself up into a fury when she stopped short.

Could "digging through memories" have meant—why bring up bad memories?

Did he have a similar past too?

Like... going into a rampage, or going into a rampage, or going into a rampage.

...It wasn't an impossible thought, so she flinched with her nose buried in the pillow.

Michael was certainly an incredibly powerful mage now, but who knew what his childhood had been like.

If that was really it, then after Nero, she'd dug up bad memories twice.

It... made sense for him to grow cold.

What kind of life had he lived?

Born and raised in a place like this, even going into a rampage.

Charlotte felt solemn, realizing this wasn't the time to get heated just because a week's worth of effort had been trampled a bit.

[Just sleep, Master. Stop tossing and turning!]

She felt suddenly sorry toward Michael and tossed and turned for a long while before Nero's front paw hit her face and she finally fell asleep.

Charlotte hummed as she walked through the estate.

Bright sunlight poured through the windows, and the estate was full of servants working vigorously.

"Come here, Daisy! You can't go alone!"

Charlotte was humming when a maid grabbed her hand, calling her by a strange name, and she tilted her head in confusion.

"Hm?"

The red-haired maid furrowed her brow.

"Did you forget how you overslept last time and I couldn't even get to work because of you? Still, you have to work hard! The master works so hard to protect this place."

"...Oh, yeah, right. That's true. Sorry, .... You always have a hard time because of me."

But soon, Charlotte erased the momentary sense of wrongness and answered.

Right. Last time, after witnessing the entities swarming once, she'd been so scared that she just slept without even knowing .... was trying to wake her, and in this estate where you couldn't go around alone, .... couldn't even go to work because of her.

"Hmph, good that you know. Daisy, you're such a scaredy-cat it's a problem! I don't know how you're like this when you've lived here your whole life."

Charlotte laughed stupidly, hehe.

Sickly since childhood, she'd stayed in the annex longer than others, so she was much more fearful and less experienced than other colleagues and friends who'd entered the main building early.

But it was okay.

Because she had ....