RAMHM Chapter 30

You're Not My Husband

"My lady."

While Grand Duke Novian stood at a distance watching Countess Acacia, Crown Prince Bardenaldo—who'd been reading the atmosphere—called to the now-silent Doris. After exchanging a meaningful look with her father, Duke Castagna, Doris slowly looked up at him. Bardenaldo's gentle blue eyes brimmed with concern.

"The Grand Duke doesn't seem particularly willing, so is there really a need to take a Grand Ducal vassal's wife as your lady-in-waiting? If you need one, young ladies from the West would line up."

"I don't particularly want a Grand Ducal person at my side either."

Her green eyes glowed faintly as she spoke primly and looked down.

"If you dislike me stepping forward, Your Highness must move yourself. I told you, didn't I? Don't disappoint my father."

"......"

"Look there, Your Highness."

When Bardenaldo shifted his gaze where Doris indicated, the plump Duke Castagna raised his champagne glass and smiled.

"Even smiling like that, his heart must be burning. His only daughter has been married for years without conceiving, and the Crown Prince son-in-law—foundation of this nation—won't even uphold his father-in-law's dignity at occasions like this."

"My lady, didn't I offer sufficient compliments to the Duke during the toast earlier?"

"Praising him for contributing the highest taxes this year from the western Castagna lands? That didn't sound like praise to me. It sounded like calling us the family living most lavishly when public sentiment grows turbulent."

"You know that wasn't my meaning, my lady."

"Then to make me understand it as praise, Your Highness should have placed my father behind you rather than Grand Duke Trovika."

Doris murmured low and threw her gaze toward Novian, who was watching Bliea Acacia.

"Your Highness's intentions are obscured from me, so what choice do I have? Since I cannot keep the Grand Duke at my side to discern Your Highness's will, I have no option but to keep one of the Grand Duke's people there."

Doris's eyes sparkled like a cat discovering an intriguing toy.

Crown Princess Doris gave me notice that she'd write separately, and I escaped that place. Descending to the first floor again, I mixed rather well among the noblewomen casting even stranger glances after I'd been summoned by the Crown Princess. The scarlet-haired noblewoman who'd informed me about Rhodness earlier stared at me with a face dying to know what I'd discussed with the Crown Princess, but I avoided her gaze.

"Let's talk for a moment."

Novian, who'd been watching from afar, finally extracted me from among the noblewomen with a thoroughly hardened face. Apparently he had something to say even while enduring their strange looks.

Novian led me to the relatively empty third floor without touching me with so much as a fingertip. Aside from a few people sipping champagne while looking down and some elderly ladies playing cards at a small table, it was the quietest yet most open place in the noisy party venue.

"...You truly committed an insane act."

"What?"

He looked down at me with bloodshot eyes.

"You're asking because you don't know? Weren't you supposed to rest at the estate today?"

"I said I wanted to attend with you, and I even asked if it mattered that I'd go with someone else."

"I asked you to wait. If you appear suddenly like this, and moreover..."

Novian spoke in a hushed voice as though reliving a terrible nightmare.

"Since when have you been exchanging correspondence with the Second Prince? No, how did you even get the Second Prince to the party...?"

"...You almost look jealous."

I regarded Novian's face with unfamiliar interest as he began probing about the Second Prince's and my relationship.

"I've never seen you make that face."

It was true. The husband who'd always been calm and rational before me wasn't here now. That was genuinely strange, and fascinating enough that my eyes kept returning. Was this Novian's true self?

"Don't deflect. Did you do it deliberately? To anger me? I had to tell His Highness the Crown Prince unnecessary lies to clean up your impulsive actions."

"Think what you like. And I wouldn't have minded if you hadn't helped."

"...What?"

As Novian's face paled with the faint coloring of shock, I felt something within me ease—my accumulated vexation settling, if only slightly. His deep blue eyes trembled without mercy, then swept across me with an expression that suggested he was the stranger here, he was the one who no longer recognized what stood before him.

"At Adrienne's memorial... you definitely rode back in the carriage alone with the Second Prince."

And suddenly his sparkling blue eyes flooded with inexplicable betrayal and fury. I stood watching it dispassionately.

"Bliea, surely you don't have feelings for the Second Prince..."

"Of course not. The one I love is you."

I carefully gathered my frantically beating heart and smiled warmly. How easily such words left my mouth.

"...That aside. About serving as the Crown Princess's lady-in-waiting... why handle things alone without consulting me?"

His face had softened slightly from earlier, though he couldn't completely hide his anger and ground his teeth.

"Why would I consult you about such matters?"

"...What?"

"My husband is Count Acacia."

At my slightly rebellious response, his face now looked genuinely angry—because while his eyes widened as though he couldn't believe what I'd said, he couldn't even raise his voice where watching eyes existed, and his jaw trembled.

I only told him the truth—how terribly dramatic of him. After briefly surveying our surroundings, Novian finally grabbed my wrist and dragged me to a very secluded corner. Walking with large strides that showed no consideration for me whatsoever, he backed me into a corner and stood there with eyes glinting like a blue blade in the darkness.

"...Say that again."

"You're not my husband."

"What exactly are you trying to say?"

"If it were Count Acacia, he would have told me to do as I pleased. So I did. I need friends besides Your Grace too."

"Ha, friends? You don't seem to grasp the situation. The Crown Princess is not a friend."

Novian spoke with disbelief, eyes still glinting. But I looked straight at him—at the man gripping my wrist tight enough to cut off circulation—and spoke.

"What's so different? If our relationship becomes known, I'll be in a position where people won't respect me much. Would the Imperial family be so different?"

"Bliea!"

"Everyone despises me. At Your Highness's estate and the Count's estate—they pretend otherwise, but everyone thinks me cheap and dissolute just because I'm a mistress!"

The content I spoke in a low shout while shaking off his hand was a complete lie. Several maids at the Count's estate genuinely followed me, and some hoped I truly was Novian's mistress so we'd enter the Grand Ducal estate together. As for the wretched creatures at the Grand Ducal estate—as long as I had a healthy body, I was confident I wouldn't be taken advantage of easily.

Novian, who apparently hadn't thought that far, looked down at me speechless. The shadows beneath his eyes remained. I found them extremely distasteful.

If I'd died as you wished, you would have quickly brought this Bliea into the Grand Ducal estate and let her live in luxury instead of me. Why drag it out? Pretending to suffer, pretending to grieve, collecting everyone's sympathy. Bringing nothing but confusion to both Bliea and Adrienne.

Now I was the one angry. Novian listened silently to my complaints before opening his mouth.

"Even so, don't get involved with the Crown Princess."

His voice had softened somewhat as he watched my face—hurt-looking as I held my aching wrist.

"Everyone says you're the leader of the Crown Prince's faction."

"......"

"There's no harm in becoming friendly with the Crown Princess. She's offering to help."

"...It's better not to get involved with her."

He slowly dragged one hand down his face and frowned. The mistress's reckless behavior seemed to give him quite a headache. Watching that, I laughed instead.

"I don't particularly want to get involved either. But how could I refuse Her Imperial Highness the Crown Princess's exalted proposal?"

"......"

I heard Novian's deep sigh. And then—

Again, those eyes.

Within his troubled expression, his deep blue eyes gazed endlessly at mine. Whenever he stared only at my eyes like this, I had to feel agony strike my heart.

...Who are you seeing in my eyes?

Do you recall Adrienne? Have you already forgotten enough to embrace this woman with identical eyes so casually? I wanted to scream and demand whether you truly conspired with this woman to kill me—but I endured by biting the tender flesh inside my lips. The metallic taste of blood lingered on my tongue tip, snapping me alert.

Adrienne meant nothing to Novian anyway. He was simply frantic at being unable to control Bliea before him as he wished. The betrayal-tinged expression he'd worn when I entered with Rhodness remained vivid in my mind. I was barely holding together my heart as it tried to become miserable again when—

"...!"

Novian's face—suppressing anger—drew close to mine. As his lips approached impulsively, I reflexively turned my head sharply away.

Frozen with one hand pressed against the dark wall, Novian didn't turn his head but let his glittering eyes shoot sideways. I felt that gaze on my turned cheek fully. In this situation, trying to kiss me...! The miserable heart I'd barely been holding slipped from my grasp instantly and burst like fireworks throughout my chest. Had Novian Trovika always been such a rude man?

"Just because I..."

I barely opened my mouth, forcibly suppressing the sadness rising like nausea.

"Just because I say I love you... doesn't mean you can treat me carelessly."

I forcibly suppressed my trembling voice too. I avoided Novian's eyes completely as he stood frozen without even breathing. I had no confidence to face Novian, who'd tried to kiss Bliea.

"I no longer want to hide just because I'm your mistress. When even His Imperial Majesty's mistress boldly showed her face in society, do I need to hide like a criminal when my existence remains so vague?"

"......"

"And if you disliked me getting involved with Her Highness the Crown Princess or His Highness the Second Prince, you should have stepped forward yourself instead of just watching. Or at least looked into how I might avoid such involvement."

You could do that much, couldn't you? I passed by him without betraying how much more my body trembled than my voice, emerging into the bright area. The misery and bewilderment that swept through my chest had surely burned it utterly black—yet strangely, having accomplished enough to make Novian this anxious and angry excited me.