RAMHM Chapter 32

A Bond Promising the Future

Silence. A horribly heavy, prolonged silence.

Rhodness looked at the woman before him with a face like he'd been doused in cold water.

The unpleasant memory of his slight argument with the Emperor over Baroness Kuroseida had already flown far away. His mind seemed to flicker on and off repeatedly, then blow away all thought along with the alcohol. The woman, eyes reddened, stared at him without even blinking.

Once, he'd imagined this. Standing before Adrienne as a man with a large frame—strong enough to protect her, as she'd wished in childhood—revealing his identity. Calling Adrienne not with a boy's immature voice but with a man's voice, attractively low and resonant. Imagining himself saying: I've become the kind of man you dreamed of, so please become my companion. How many times he'd practiced those embarrassing words alone, he couldn't count.

'Though it's useless now.'

When he'd heard the news of Adrienne's death, he'd thought: he'd never imagined a world without Adrienne, so perhaps she was alive somewhere. If Adrienne were alive, this woman would have to be the closest thing. Bliea Acacia. His miracle, discovered at Adrienne's grave. And his despair.

'I'm Novian Trovika's mistress.'

That statement, lodged in his chest, surged up spitting blood, and his hazy mind cleared sharply. No matter how much that woman had Adrienne's face, actions, even her handwriting...

'She's not Adrienne.'

Black hair. Lavish attire. Even the tear mole beneath her eye. Adrienne was dead. Everyone had told him so. They said Adrienne's final appearance—after living in agony from bodily illness—looked peaceful and beautiful as if sleeping. Voices saying someone had seen that corpse he alone hadn't confirmed echoed louder and louder in his head.

"Non... sense..."

Drunk on alcohol, drunk on this strange atmosphere, he'd said what he shouldn't. Hadn't he just handed a perfect weapon to a woman living as Adrienne's substitute, imitating her?

Rhodness rubbed his face roughly and shakily stood, gripping the tree he'd been leaning against. The woman, who'd been sitting like a stone statue, reached out without permission to steady him. Rhodness felt a violent surge of revulsion and swatted her hand away. How dare she. A mistress—Novian's mistress.

"Adrienne is not your friend. You'd best not call her by name."

The air that had warmed between them froze instantly.

"If I were her, I would never have allowed you to use that name."

Rhodness's eyes flared again. For a moment his mind had wavered enough to lose consciousness, but he'd found his center again.

"I misspoke. Both of us did."

Rhodness admitted his mistake. The moment he'd told his father he didn't want to handle Baroness Kuroseida's disappearance case, fierce criticism had rained down.

For nearly two years, through Bliea Acacia, he'd been forced to witness with his own eyes Novian and Adrienne together—the sight he'd most wanted to avoid. The emotions he'd struggled to suppress were on the verge of exploding; he couldn't stay sane. He'd wanted to lose his mind drunk.

But his feet had automatically sought out memories of Adrienne. There, alone, he'd wept in muffled silence. He'd brought Cowan, raised in the annex, and rambled nonsensically to him.

'Now... even Adrienne with the Grand Duke, I want to see.'

'Better to despair while she's somewhere in this world than despair at her not being in it at all.'

Even if that place was Trovika Grand Ducal Estate. Unable to fill the gaping hole in his chest, he'd poured alcohol into his mouth and words outward. The dog keeping him company, sensing another person's presence, had panted and hidden in the bushes—then when this woman appeared, it couldn't contain its joy and burst out, fawning on her.

That was why he'd made that absurd slip of the tongue. Because this woman kept appearing before him with Adrienne's face. With Adrienne's eyes. Because, like Adrienne had, she petted Cowan while looking at him as if he were precious.

The woman didn't respond to his apology. After dropping that bomb—what if I really am Adrienne—she said nothing more. Rhodness felt his mouth going dry for no reason and spoke quickly.

"People sometimes call me mad. That madness seems particularly severe today. Thank you for humoring my senseless delusion."

"...Madness."

"We could become good partners, I think."

Unlike his brutally cold voice, Rhodness was still breathing hard. His solid chest, visible even through his clothes, rose and fell roughly. After a long moment filled with shock and confusion, he now stared not at me but at empty space.

Of course. No one would believe me if I said I was Adrienne. In the reverse situation, even I would have despised and refused to associate with someone making such a claim. Especially if they seemed to be impersonating my first love—utterly detestable.

I released the dog I'd been touching and slowly rose. At the sound of my movement, Rhodness fixed me with darkened eyes.

"...What was your relationship?"

I'd barely managed to stand, but to look up at his tall frame required tilting my head back considerably even at this distance. I gripped my dress hem tightly with trembling hands. If he wouldn't believe me anyway, I wanted to at least resolve the question I'd been wondering about—gathering courage for it.

"Adrienne, no... what was your relationship with Her Grace the Grand Duchess?"

I was fully prepared to accept it even if he insulted me, asking who I thought I was, prying into such things. The dog whined at my feet, rubbing its face against my dress, but I looked up at him as if I could hear nothing but his voice. Rhodness stared down at me from the shadows for a long while.

"...A bond promising the future."

And then abruptly, he answered.

"We were each other's first love."

"!"

"No—I thought we were."

He'd answered far too easily. So naturally that if a stranger heard, they'd think, 'So the Trovika Grand Duchess and the Second Prince really were each other's first love.' No matter how I turned it over, I'd had no such relationship with anyone but Novian.

But his claim that I was his first love—it might not be a lie. Those eyes that had raged with genuine fury at even a hint of criticism about me—they hadn't been false. So I felt a strange greed rising. If it was a dead person anyway, I wanted to be remembered as the Adrienne he described—'thoughtful, wise, courageous'—rather than the weak Adrienne who'd died stupidly ignorant of her husband's affair.

Perhaps he was the only person who'd remember me that way. The person who truly mourned my death, who still missed me, who suffered over me. If he had no choice but to recall Adrienne this violently every time he saw me, I found myself wishing he'd carry away only good memories.

"I'll help you confirm Her Grace the Grand Duchess's body."

For the first time since reincarnating, I smiled—not like Bliea, but like my true self.

'If only I'd met this man first instead of Novian.'

An impossible wish filled my chest, soaking my heart with tears. Novian's face—suspecting the relationship between Bliea and this man, unable to hide his jealousy—shattered and slashed my heart wildly. And surprisingly, seeing this man weep in longing for Adrienne brought me comfort.

'Let me help this man more.'

Let me show him the corpse, help him accept my death, and sever Adrienne's existence from this man who was gradually breaking apart. Just as I'd steadied my heart after confirming my own body. Once he knew I was someone he could no longer meet, he wouldn't need to hold hands with someone like Bliea—someone he despised even drunk. Once he confirmed the body, both Adrienne and Bliea would disappear from his life.

"I have a plan."

"......"

Rhodness, who'd been staring intently at my smiling face, gave no answer. But the more calmly I tried to continue speaking, the more he seemed to regain his original coldly arrogant self. My heart might overflow with tears, but I cooled my head.

"The Grand Duke is more jealous than I expected. So, from now on..."

"......"

"Would it be all right if I acted as though Your Highness and I had... an ambiguous relationship?"

"Ambiguous relationship."

"Lovers."

A coolly settled gaze swept over me thoroughly. I rambled through the plan I'd been considering since before coming to the party.

"Seeing how he can't stand you and me being together, if I could provoke him just a bit more, I think I could enter the Grand Ducal Estate faster. If I could live there even briefly, finding the body would be quicker."

"And the price for helping with this performance?"

"You'd be able to confirm the body."

"No—helping me confirm the body was the original request. If I go through this unnecessary performance and dance to your tune, what do I gain?"

"I'll become Her Grace the Grand Duchess's substitute for you, Your Highness."

"!"

Adrienne was dead. Now that I had to live as Bliea, this was my only method. For Bliea to build power, she needed trustworthy forces. Still under Novian's authority, I needed this man. At the same time, I had to help him as much as I'd been helped. Bliea, commoner-born with nothing, couldn't repay him with money or honor.

"Don't you want to move on from Her Grace the Grand Duchess now? Think of me as her substitute—whether to forget or let go of lingering attachment, use me until you confirm the body, Your Highness."

"......"

"Helping each other, using each other... we agreed to that. If you do this, someday it might not hurt anymore."

Rhodness's rigid face flushed red and blue before regaining composure. What is this woman's intent? If he accepted her proposal, he wouldn't have to suffer alone anymore wondering about her identity, intentions, purpose. Tied together as lovers, he could naturally observe and monitor her. At her invitation to stick his head into a wolf's maw and taste it, Rhodness swallowed a cold laugh.

'Move on from Adrienne?'

If Adrienne's death had taught him anything, it was only that whether she was alive or dead, he couldn't abandon her. The woman who didn't know this—her proposal was utterly laughable to him. But.

'What if—just what if—Adrienne didn't die a natural death? If accepting this woman's demand lets me confirm the body even slightly faster? If this mistress of Novian's, daring to make such a proposal to me, is even slightly connected to Adrienne's death?'

Rhodness's frozen face instantly returned to the complete rake's expression. Like when he'd first gone to Adrienne's grave, his face took on that subtly unhinged quality—yet captivating enough that no one could look away—as his eyes curved. Rhodness slowly pulled on the white gloves he'd discarded, and as if he'd never pushed her away, he took the woman's hand and brought it to his lips.

He would seduce this woman who tried to seduce him using Adrienne as an excuse.

'So if I can uncover every truth surrounding Adrienne through this woman...'

He would willingly press his lips to this delicate, filthy hand.

"As you wish."

Even if he learned that no one was involved in Adrienne's death, he would be satisfied. Then there would be no lingering attachment to turn his back on this world without Adrienne.