RAMHM Chapter 42

Because Today Is Our Last

The excuse of adding escorts for Countess Acacia due to missing women cases in the capital worked perfectly at the entrance.

Coming too easily into the Grand Ducal Estate with several knights wearing hooded cloaks felt almost hollow. Had he fallen for another of that woman's schemes? The situation progressing as if everything were planned felt dreamlike too, but most dreamlike of all...

Was the sound of his violently beating heart as he descended into the underground prison.

'In this deep, dark underground...'

Rhodness felt his hair stand on end with a sensation strange beyond his ability to explain.

'...Adrienne is here.'

His slow steps dragged as if each footfall had dreadfully heavy weights attached. As he naturally passed Bliea Acacia, who'd stepped aside, he saw the corpse sparkling in moonlight. Rhodness, stopped before the corpse, felt the floor he stood on crumbling away. This was Adrienne, first time seeing her since her debut. The cheeks that had flushed pink, smiling toward Novian, had no color.

In the deliberately decorated face, he saw young Adrienne and wailed. Everything he possessed extinguished, his heart constricted as if someone were beating it.

"Adrienne..."

The glass case lid he'd naturally reached for wouldn't open.

"Adrienne..."

A scream that felt like it would burst his skull echoed inside him. A desperate scream only he could hear, that no one else could. From lips that had never uttered even a groan when enemies slashed his flesh, when he'd been injured enough to soak new bandages in blood all night—a moan emerged.

"Adrienne...!"

No one answered the name called out low. Even Bliea Acacia, who'd vowed to become Adrienne's replacement, only stood quietly behind him.

I watched Rhodness crumbling and gritted my teeth. The atmosphere felt wrapped in greater despair and sorrow than when I'd first seen him at the cemetery, like a whirlwind.

Ah—

'I am An's despair.'

At the fact suddenly realized, I felt like the sky was collapsing. When alive, I'd been foolish enough to be deceived, becoming another man's wife and causing his despair. After death, unable to answer the name he called, I caused his despair again. The elation that had made me think meeting Rhodness, meeting An, would solve everything—melted like the candle in my hand.

'I am An's despair.'

Even if I confessed this absurd situation and revived Adrienne who'd died repeatedly in his heart, he couldn't be with me. A man who collapsed this much, despairing and silently weeping over my death—could never accept Bliea Acacia.

Not knowing what heart he spoke of Adrienne with, how arrogant my mouth had been, saying I'd replace Adrienne and make him forget her. Watching An kneel before the corpse, trembling all over, I felt shame too great to lift my head.

Quiet though he was, he wept as if his invisible soul were extinguishing. Faced with Rhodness's enormous love that had ended before properly beginning—I felt suffocated.

How much time passed? Just before dawn broke, early morning was terribly dark. Only after the spare candles had all melted and moonlight illuminated half the underground prison did Rhodness stagger to his feet before the glass case.

I reflexively reached out and caught his arm. And met his half-dead eyes. A chilling feeling made me hastily release my hand.

"You weren't... responding, so I was very worried."

"Why would you worry about me?"

"Are you leaving like this?"

"I confirmed the corpse properly. Though I want to bring a coffin and take her outside immediately..."

He saved his next words.

"This ends our transaction. For the help I originally agreed to give, communicate through my aides."

"Wait, wait a moment!"

I grabbed Rhodness's collar with complicated emotions. Feeling Rhodness's gaze descend to the hand gripping his collar made my heart more urgent. Parting like this? Like this?

Rhodness gave a brief glance, then walked toward the upper prison without lingering attachment. I frantically climbed the underground prison following him. Rhodness's steps held no hesitation. His confident stride, like a general heading to war, made me slightly uneasy. I couldn't return to the previous state—unable to converse with An at all, not even receiving replies to letters.

The annex with even Yona and Marge withdrawn left only the two of us. Following his wide strides made me walk fast enough to lose my breath. As he tried to casually climb the dizzingly high estate wall through the wide-open back door, I gripped his arm strongly with both hands.

"Please, I have a request."

"......"

Rhodness, wearing the arrogant prince's face from before, raised his chin and looked down at me. But his once-sparkling eyes had died black. Inexplicable anxiety wrapped around my entire body, preventing me from sending him off like this and promising another time. I felt if I missed today, I'd never see him again.

"Even if you ask me, I won't desire anything from you."

It meant their give-and-take relationship was over. I nodded with difficulty.

"Take me to Starlight Hill."

Instantly, Rhodness's face hardened noticeably. Was he breathing? While I waited anxiously for an answer, Rhodness's complexion—hardened like rock—changed moment by moment.

"Perhaps today... is the last time Your Highness and I will face each other."

Last. At that single word, I saw him press his lips tight and begged more earnestly.

"It's my last request."

Rhodness, who'd seemed about to shake off my hand any moment, didn't refuse me.

Riding north just a bit more from the Capital Central Plaza brought a slightly high hill with a view of the entire capital at a glance. Called Starlight Hill because visiting when darkness fell showed pouring starlight. I'd always wanted to climb there with An.

Ignoring the knight's recommendation to attach more escorts and go out, I drove the carriage out together with Rhodness, face hidden. Inside the carriage, we shared no conversation.

The moment we descended from the carriage and climbed Starlight Hill, I ran as if entranced to the very top. After the debut, I'd wanted to come to this hill famous among lovers together with An, who would reveal himself.

Here and there, couples out stargazing were visible. Seeing people lying on dry grass looking at the sky, I too flopped down looking at the sky. Rhodness stood still far behind, only coming to sit quietly beside me after I'd seen stars to satiation. We still said nothing.

I lay down imagining the young days when I might have watched stars affectionately with An, and probably Rhodness imagined watching stars with young Adrienne. We together now remained attached to a past that had already passed. That fact pierced painfully, and watching Rhodness not giving me even a glance of attention, my resolution hardened.

'Don't become his despair anymore.'

I couldn't be with him as Bliea anyway.

'Whatever scheme Novian deployed, it was me who failed to recognize An and readily followed him, even giving my heart.'

I had no face to show Rhodness. Incomprehensibly—what had I been thinking, wanting to meet and converse with him? Recalling him collapsing and suffering over my death brought certainty.

'Don't drag An in anymore—I must finish my revenge.'

An deserves to forget foolish Adrienne and share a future with a better woman. I'm glad I came to Starlight Hill with An. I truly thought so, even if selfishly. Adrienne who died beautiful as if asleep, and now stars pouring over Starlight Hill. I thought it a beautiful conclusion with no lingering attachment or regret.

"This worked out well. Now—"

"......"

I spoke with forced brightness.

"You confirmed the corpse you so desired, so now you can truly let her go. I too..."

Somehow my throat closed.

"I too, having lifted the weight on my heart regarding Your Highness, can divorce the Count with peace of mind and achieve my desired purpose."

An annoying woman to the very end. A woman dragging him to the abyss to the very end. The unusually talkative woman's voice buzzed in his ears.

'Perhaps today... is the last time Your Highness and I will face each other.'

'It's my last request.'

Last. Rhodness felt suffocated as if sunk in water. Revulsion rose at the woman's voice continuously speaking of last.

'A bastard with no value in living.'

Not even a self-mocking smile came anymore. He'd thought himself different. He'd lived mistakenly thinking he differed from his father and Novian—drawn to and feeling love for only one woman.

If his principles crumbled this easily, why had he suffered so painfully for years? Where had all those times disappeared—when hearing news of Adrienne's marriage didn't change his heart but rather made it grow? Rhodness, seeing the woman lying on Starlight Hill counting stars, realized he had no choice but to admit it now.

'I don't want to part from this woman.'

If only he'd desired a seductive mistress's body, he wouldn't feel this way. His heart toward Adrienne remained unchanged. That tormented him more.

'The bastard son of a bitch was me.'

His father entangled with Baroness Kuroseida, Novian wanting Bliea. How was he different from those two? Listening to the woman's voice speaking of last, saying she'd achieved her desired purpose, he opened his mouth after a long while.

"Yes. The last."

"......"

"It's completely over now."

He naturally lifted Bliea Acacia and turned her around.

"We won't encounter each other from now on, so you live your life."

Gesturing to the coachman waiting in the distance, the tired-faced coachman escorted the woman away.

Really the end, then. Disappearing when he wants would be helping him too. I'll atone to An from afar and only pray for his happiness. But why does my chest feel so cold?

'We won't encounter each other from now on, so you live your life.'

Even if we don't meet alone like now, how could he be so confident there'd be no encounters? At the chilling energy brushing my spine, I stopped my footsteps heading toward the carriage. And after long hesitation, I suddenly turned around.

Rhodness, back turned to me, stood at the top of Starlight Hill with sword drawn.

"...!"

"Um, Madam?"

My legs moved without time to think. Because the blade Rhodness had drawn was pointed at none other than Rhodness's own throat. The shoes I wore all came off, cold earth and rough grass scratching my soft soles, but I ran toward Rhodness. And stretching both arms completely, I struck Rhodness's sword to the ground. Red blood already stained the blade that fell without much resistance.

"Are you insane?"

The thought of a beautiful ending had been my delusion alone.

"Why should you die! Why on earth! Because you confirmed Adrienne died, are you really going to follow her in death?"

I screamed at Rhodness with dead eyes, not knowing what came from my mouth.

"Why on earth... why on earth...!"

After witnessing with my own eyes the scene of Rhodness trying to end his own life, I wasn't in my right mind. My hands and feet trembled, and I couldn't help blaming foolish Rhodness. With shaking hands, I grabbed Rhodness's collar. Given our enormous height difference, I was practically hanging from him. Seeing fresh blood trickle down the long, thick throat visible through his shirt, reason flew far away and my resigned face crumpled.

"...I lost."

I released Rhodness's collar with still-trembling hands and looked up at his eyes. Eyes without will to live looked down at me numbly. Ah. I was arrogant again this time. A beautiful corpse. Beautiful memories of us. Such memories—utterly useless to An. I barely opened my trembling lips and squeezed out a voice that felt strangled.

"...I'm Adrienne."

Rhodness's already blackly dead pupils didn't waver at all. He clearly thought I was lying to save him. Rhodness's sunken eyes already moved past me toward the dropped sword. I bit the inside of my mouth hard enough to draw blood and said the name he couldn't help but react to.

"...An."

And Rhodness's hand reaching toward the sword stopped—thud—like a lie.