RAMHM Chapter 46

In Case You'd Be Sad

Rhodness's eyes, nose, mouth—bent toward me with his back to the light—were like a work of art in themselves even in the darkness. There was a resonance inside my chest like a drum beating—thump, thump. The tension I could feel vividly beneath my two arms wrapped around his throat seemed to transfer to me, tickling.

Right about when I felt cold sweat trickling down my spine, the sound of people approaching grew closer. I squeezed my eyes shut and pulled Rhodness's throat, embraced in my two arms, even closer. I definitely remembered reading in a romance novel about how to handle this kind of crisis situation.

Nose tip brushed nose tip, and the smell of medicine that had treated his wound and Rhodness's body scent simultaneously rushed into my nostrils. We both must have heard someone's heartbeat—whose, I couldn't tell—but no matter how much I pulled, Rhodness held firm in the end, not coming any closer to me, standing his ground.

"Oh! Ah, s-sorry!"

"Continue what you were doing, haha... please!"

When the capital guard's footsteps quickly receded into the distance, I opened my eyes. Tendons stood out starkly on Rhodness's arms, which had been resisting.

Because I'd pulled his throat so close our lips had nearly touched, but to absolutely prevent them from touching, he'd been desperately pressing his arms against the wall, applying force. Even after the people had left, we stood looking at each other for a long while.

"...They're gone."

"Don't."

"!"

Rhodness gently pulled my arms away and straightened his posture, speaking in a locked voice.

"Don't speak formally."

"O-okay."

When I barely answered, flustered at what I'd done myself, Rhodness adjusted his clothing. In between, he muttered to himself things like "with the capital guard bastards working like that, no wonder the capital's security has gone to hell."

Though irritation was mixed in, Rhodness's elegant hand movements were like a well-drawn picture, and I stared blankly for a while. The Rhodness in my memory had been much smaller. The Rhodness in my imagination had been a somewhat more shy child. I felt strangely unfamiliar.

"You know about the shi—strange incidents happening frequently in the capital these days, don't you?"

"Ah..."

"Coming out without an escort—that won't do."

Rhodness made a slightly stern face.

"I have an escort."

"?"

Rhodness, who had finished adjusting his clothing, raised his eyebrow—just so—and looked down at me. So he'd thought I came out without an escort and came personally to protect me. He could have sent someone else. Imagining Rhodness, who must have hurried back out after we'd parted this morning, my chest felt strangely full.

"Count Acacia worried so much, I promised to always have exactly 20 escorts with me. They were all hiding, waiting for my signal."

His face, as if he'd barely suppressed something, quickly turned flushed and pale before changing to a bewildered expression.

When we returned after a while, the capital guard had vanished without a trace. When I asked around, they'd only caught the men who had tried human trafficking. As Rhodness had said, despite the capital's worsened security, the capital guard had clearly grown lax.

"Your escorts should all be cut down too."

"What?"

"If they let people get that close, who knows what could be done."

"They weren't people who came to kill."

"Whether they came to kill or not—you only know after you're dead."

"......"

Rhodness, who had brazenly climbed into my carriage with me, nagged the entire way to the Grand Ducal Estate. I stared at him, wondering if this was really that 'Second Prince' I knew, when suddenly Rhodness, turned pale, began watching my expression.

"I said something unnecessary."

"?"

"To say things about death and such to you, damn it, I..."

I'd actually been fine, but Rhodness blamed himself alone. I was about to tell him it was all right, but looking closely, Rhodness's face was abnormally pale even aside from his own statement. Cold sweat was beading on his straight, handsome forehead. And the medicine smell I'd caught earlier was clearly evidence of receiving treatment after entering the palace.

"Rhodness."

I properly called his name for the first time. When my lips tingled and I flushed, Rhodness also lifted his self-reproaching face blankly.

"I'm fine, but you don't seem fine."

"I'm fine."

How decisive he was without even knowing what I was talking about.

"I'm not fine."

"...Why?"

Those eyes that seemed to truly not know were so innocent that a small laugh escaped.

"Of course. How can I not worry when you're hurt because of me?"

"...It's not because of you—it's because my temper is nasty, so don't think that way."

Rhodness's face, washing it dry with one hand, turned faintly reddish for some reason.

"Your temper is nasty? How can you say that when you're so kind?"

This time Rhodness smiled faintly. Each time light and shadow alternately flowed in from outside the quickly moving carriage, sunlight pooled in his upturned mouth corners and disappeared repeatedly.

"I only need to be kind to you."

"?"

Whatever was so funny, he smiled faintly the entire way to the Grand Ducal Estate. And because all these aspects of Rhodness were new to me, I stared blankly, not noticing time passing.

At the Grand Ducal Estate entrance, Rhodness and I quarreled again over whether he would return or not. I had to persuade him multiple times that His Highness the Crown Prince was visiting today.

Finally unable to defeat me, Rhodness descended from the carriage with very heavy steps, and only then did I feel relieved and board the carriage again.

As soon as I arrived and descended from the carriage, Yona came running from far away, her face flushed and excited.

"Madam! Madam! You've come?"

"Yes, did something happen?"

"Yes! His Highness the Crown Prince has arrived!"

"Already?"

"He came simply! All the servants have gone that way! We sent word to you, Madam, but it must have crossed!"

Indeed, looking around, there was none of the protocol I'd seen before. Neither the Imperial Palace's massive, splendid carriages nor the dozens of knights.

"I've committed a great discourtesy to His Highness."

"The butler covered well, saying you'd gone early in the morning to look around the cemetery."

"...That bastard—I mean, Gaspar?"

"Hehe, yes!"

Yona, who always looked at Gaspar's oily eyes with a disgusted expression, openly giggled and agreed with me. With Yona's help removing my outer coat, I hurried toward the annex where Crown Prince Bardenaldo was said to be. Indeed, the annex, usually empty, was bustling with servants. Warmth circulated throughout the annex lobby, and the space was filled completely with all kinds of rare tea fragrances.

"Oh, the administrator has arrived."

"You've come, Madam."

Bardenaldo, who had been sitting on the sofa savoring tea, and the butler who had been fawning beside him, greeted me in turn. I approached with a strange feeling because Bardenaldo seemed quite pleased to see me.

Rhodness's older brother. Novian's lord. Bardenaldo was known for a gentle disposition worthy of being called Ronteaux's saint, but was it really true?

"I greet the Empire's greatest star. I am Bliea Acacia, wife of Count Acacia. Your Highness the Crown Prince."

"Ahaha—"

When I greeted properly, unlike Bardenaldo who had been about to greet lightly, he laughed awkwardly and invited me to sit across from him.

"If you've become my wife's lady-in-waiting, you're no different from part of our family, so you may greet me simply from now on."

Bardenaldo spoke warmly to me as I sat tensely.

His deep blue eyes and red hair were symbols of the Ronteaux Empire's legitimacy. But unlike the intense colors, his moderately-sized eyes drooped slightly, and his features were overall soft, so compared to Novian or Rhodness, he had a very kind impression.

"Still, how could I to Your Highness..."

"I'm not such a difficult person."

Indeed, Bardenaldo was as kind as rumored. Ronteaux's treasure itself—raising his speech to everyone and treating them with humanity, with high reputation.

"Thank you, Your Highness."

"Are there no difficulties? Though the number of servants is small for the size, there must be many hard things with the Grand Ducal Estate being so vast."

"Yes, the butler helps a lot too, and my stay is short."

As soon as I finished speaking, Gaspar smiled meaningfully at me. I barely smoothed my expression that wanted to contort and looked at Bardenaldo. He was very carefully filling out the guestbook for mourners.

Recalling that we had once been family felt strange. If I had been alive, Bardenaldo would have called me, younger than himself, 'Aunt' and been that courteous.

"Just because I've come, there's no need for you to stick by my side, Madam. In the Grand Ducal Estate, rather than a distinguished guest, I'm more like... it's comfortable to think of me as a relative staying here. It's not wrong either."

"Pardon? Ah... I heard you visit the Grand Ducal Estate often, but is there a special reason?"

"Uncle and I don't differ much in age, and we walk the same path, so we're like brothers."

"Ah..."

"This place is no different from another home outside the palace."

Was it about when I thought he was answering my brief question quite faithfully? The Crown Prince, who had been chattering about things like touring the garden after coming to the Grand Ducal Estate, sharing information about the rebel army, suddenly said this to me, who had been nodding earnestly.

"Would the Crown Princess be curious about such things?"

"!"

"Her Highness wouldn't be satisfied with this much."

Seeing me stiffen and fumble over what to say, the Crown Prince soon made a bitter expression.

"I keep close to Uncle because he's capable, not only because we're privately close."

"Ah, yes. I naturally thought so."

"Madam. I am someone who could give my life for this country."

A slight heat appeared in Bardenaldo's gentle eyes.

"I only hope that Duke Castagna and the Grand Duke get along well and work hard for this country."

Perhaps the Crown Prince knew the reason Doris had sent me here. That's why even knowing Novian wasn't here, he deliberately visited the Grand Ducal Estate to pay condolences yet again. Whether it was a warning aimed at me or an excuse aimed at Doris, only the Crown Prince would know. But his resolute eyes saying he could do anything for the country impressed me greatly.

After that, the Crown Prince talked lightly about various national affairs, encouraged me, and left. With a sense of debt for not properly receiving him when he came, I walked directly to the Grand Ducal Estate entrance and saw him off. As I stood watching him fade into the distance with his escort, somewhere came the sound of someone clearing their throat. Startled, I turned around—

"...Rhodness?"

Rhodness had popped out. It was marvelous how he'd evaded the personnel monitoring the Grand Ducal Estate's exterior and been hiding.

"I thought you went back to the palace earlier?"

"I was worried."

Rhodness, who had been watching Bardenaldo's procession fade for a moment, came closer to me. He looked somewhat anxious.

"About what?"

"Just everything."

I saw Rhodness's hand flinching. It was a hand that wanted to grip tight, afraid I would disappear like last time.

"It's fine, so hurry back to the palace...! Your face is deathly pale right now."

"......"

"You've already stationed many watchers nearby, haven't you? That's how you knew I went out without an escort."

Seeing his "oh no" face, I couldn't help but relax the face that had been telling him sternly to go back. Strangely, his face that made everyone feel intimidated, him who seemed two spans taller than me—looked cute. Unable to bear the tickling feeling below my heart, I impulsively opened my mouth.

"I'm suddenly curious..."

Rhodness's flustered face became serious at once.

"Why didn't you properly use me earlier?"

"What?"

"If you'd just come a bit closer to me then, we could have chased away the capital guard more quickly."

Good heavens. Had I lost my mind? What did I just ask? Was it because the face and arms that had desperately resisted kept remaining as afterimages in my head? As I tried to excuse opening my mouth thoughtlessly while looking at the bewildered Rhodness... Rhodness, his face turned serious, opened his mouth heavily.

"We're friends until the work is done, we said. It seemed like you weren't ready to accept me yet."

"!"

"And..."

Rhodness's mouth corners slowly rose. He was smiling, but he also looked a little sad.

"If I kissed Bliea Acacia's lips... I was afraid you'd be sad."