RAMHM Chapter 78

Should I Help You?

Their reunion came quickly. During his time at the Royal Academy, Rhodness—who'd spoken with no one, submerged in grief—sought out the library alone.

Though he only sat quietly reading in a corner, the general Academy students who occasionally passed and discovered him startled. Because he was a Royal Academy student wearing a mask.

Though the Academy was one building, it was divided into the Royal Academy for imperial and royal family members from various countries, and the general Academy for nobility.

The Royal Academy required all students to wear masks to prevent unexpected assassinations. The masks made from mana stone were precious objects that could temporarily transform not only hair color but even eye color if the wearer wished. It was one of the few areas where mana stone use—prohibited in Ronteaux—made an exception.

Royal Academy students called these masks stuffy or uncomfortable, but Rhodness actually liked them. Because deep blue eyes were practically a symbol of Ronteaux royalty, he could hide his mutant-like appearance. Now it was even quite useful for concealing the tears that flowed at any moment.

"Adrienne, what are you doing here?"

When class ended and he was thinking he'd have to attend his mother's funeral again, his heart sinking—Rhodness perked up his ears at the familiar name.

"I have a retest tomorrow."

"Ahaha—. Right, you failed the Ellaconian language exam again this time? How can you fail every single time? Even just getting a D would be passing, you really..."

"If you're not going to help, go away, Sophia."

"I'd like to help, but I don't have time either—. Everyone's busy preparing for other subject exams, so what will you do, Adrienne?"

Rhodness jumped up and pulled out a book, thrusting his face into the gap. Through the empty space between books, he saw a girl tugging at her shining golden hair in distress. Ellaconian language textbooks scattered haphazardly on the table. Test papers raining red marks.

His heart began to pound. Ellaconian language was one of Rhodness's best subjects. As he seriously debated whether to speak to her or not, time slipped by.

Then just before their eyes could meet, Rhodness quickly crouched down. He habitually clutched his mask. Remembering the peers who'd fled at the sight of his red eyes, strength poured into his hand.

Without realizing it, the thought surfaced that he wanted to help. At the same time, he wanted to ask. 'Why did you cry so sorrowfully that day?' Though thinking it over, she hadn't deliberately cried in his place that day, and clearly had no idea of his existence.

The face behind the mask grew hot. Embarrassment flooded in at the thought that he'd almost acted familiar based on his own pointless delusions. But even after that, Rhodness couldn't stop wondering whether to speak to Adrienne until the library closed.

The season for the annual New Year's masked ball had come around. That day was also the last day of his mother—Empress Letina's—funeral. Bardenaldo—who'd always guarded the body and received mourners alongside Rhodness—was pushed by attendants to prepare for the ball.

The usually crowded funeral hall was deserted. The enormous funeral hall set up outside the Empress's Palace had emptied of mourners like an ebbing tide after the morning ended. But Rhodness couldn't leave this place.

Would this Empress's Palace now be emptied, or would a different master move in? Imagining someone else walking through the garden his mother had strolled brought pain that felt like his chest would burst. Was Father, was Brother, not bothered at all? The excited voices of people audible in the distance felt resentful.

Even after seeing his mother's body buried in the cold ground and returning, Rhodness wandered the Empress's Palace like a lost child for a long while before being led by attendants who'd chased after him, forced to be dressed up. As a prince, he couldn't be absent from the New Year's celebration, the biggest event of the year.

At the gloomy energy of Rhodness sitting blankly like a doll while being dressed, his nanny shook her head at the attendants offering ornate masks. She couldn't pour oil on his already depressed state.

"Your Highness, I understand your melancholy, but... you still must attend."

Even his usually stern nanny didn't seem particularly pleased about the ball being held on the last day of Empress Letina's funeral. Instead of an ornate mask, the nanny fitted him with the Royal Academy mask familiar to Rhodness.

Young nobles who hadn't yet debuted appeared wearing those masks as if showing off. The nanny's escort went only to the entrance of the Prince's Palace.

Dismissing all his attendants, Rhodness's steps toward Atilchard Hall turned back toward the Empress's Palace. As darkness fell, the space of the deceased felt like a distant other world. Unable to go to either the desolate Empress's Palace or Atilchard Hall where people chattered, he wandered at the end of the corridor. He sank down and hugged his knees where Empress Letina's portrait hung.

"Mother."

His mother, smiling gently, didn't answer. He vomited out the tears he'd held back even in the Prince's Palace beneath that portrait.

He'd endured enough. Hiding and only shedding tears at the funeral hall, even at the Academy unable to concentrate on classes and hiding alone. He didn't want to go to a space where everyone acted as if nothing had happened, forgetting his dead mother and laughing and chattering. Perhaps it was fortunate. There was no better place to cry freely. No one would secretly enter at night on the path to the space of the dead.

Though the cold winter wind felt like it was tearing his exposed skin to shreds, Rhodness cried for a long while.

"Rienne! What did I tell you? The body was already this morning..."

"But Brother said I was too rude that day? So I'm just trying to pay respects again!"

"How can you pay respects when there's no body?"

"I saw Her Imperial Majesty's portrait here last time. I'll at least observe a moment of silence there."

"Just say you did. Observe a moment of silence even in front of the Empress's Palace. You said you'd just take a short walk and came out this late, so Father must be furious."

"I'll say I got lost. Because Brother dragged me to the wrong place and wasted time."

"I thought it was that way! Really, I... But I've been hearing someone crying. A ghost?"

"Don't say scary things!"

Human voices came from right nearby. But the sobs shaking his chest couldn't be easily stopped like a sneeze. Whimpering and trembling, Rhodness tried to rise but suddenly thought—in this state, he couldn't enter either the Prince's Palace or Atilchard Hall.

Imagining the people's gazes that would pour directly onto him, Rhodness felt like suffocating. Even wearing a mask, even hiding his identity, he always lived feeling stripped naked. The Imperial Family's mutant. Empress Letina's stain.

His head spun. Should he have eaten even a little when his nanny urged meals? Not eating properly throughout the funeral period, he was growing thin enough to feel it clearly himself. He should stand up. His pathetic crying appearance—they'd said royalty must never show such a thing to anyone.

'Someone, someone please...'

Just as he desperately thought that if someone would hold his hand he could stand, the human presence that had cut off approached right before his nose. Siblings relying on a single small lamp looked down at him. And...

"Hey, are you okay?"

Even closer, the hand of a girl as white and small as flour extended.

'Impossible.'

It was Adrienne. Though she hid half her face with a dainty mask, he recognized the girl instantly.

"The ballroom is that way?"

"Adrienne, let's just go."

"Is something wrong?"

Unlike her brother sending a cold gaze, Adrienne's voice was clear and kind. Rhodness's mind went blank. Because he'd been caught in the state he least wanted to be seen in by the person he least wanted to see him.

"...Are you okay?"

No, he wasn't okay. Shame made him want to burst into tears again at just that one sentence. The person he'd loved most in the world had died. Yet he'd endured 100 days unable to even cry freely.

The people who would give him warm gazes and embraces now were only Bardenaldo or Father. The feeling of his most precious existences going from three to two, and this despair that he couldn't confide this feeling to anyone—was a reality too overwhelming for him just past ten years old to bear.

"Should I help you?"

Are you okay. Should I help you. Simple words. Yet also words no one had offered while he—still young—couldn't accept his mother's death.

The girl's small, white hand fluttered temptingly before his nose. At that single sentence, Rhodness had the illusion that the entire world brightened, and with that one gesture his shrunken heart felt comforted.

The sudden emotional change plunged him into strange confusion. Though her sparkling yellow-green eyes behind the plain mask shone with concern, a new fear rose that the more this girl—not family—learned about him, the more terrified she'd become and flee.

Rhodness simply stood with all the strength he could muster and ran.

'Help me. Help me, please. Someone...'

It was the opposite action of his heart's cry.

In the end, Rhodness developed a fever that day. Feeling Bardenaldo's cold hand—which had kept watch by his side all night—touch and leave his forehead, Rhodness's eyes flashed open. Morning sunlight pooled on his small face. Though exhausted from repeatedly sleeping and waking all night, his mind was clear.

"Your Highness, today you don't need to go to the Academy..."

"I want to go."

When he—who'd lain down insisting he wouldn't go to the Academy for all 100 days to guard his mother's body—showed motivation despite his sick body, his nanny's eyes widened. Rhodness urged his nanny after cleanly emptying even the breakfast he always skipped.

"Give me the mask. Quickly."

The boy's determined face was instantly covered by the black mask.

Rhodness kept waiting for Adrienne in the library corner.

'Should I help you?'

Recalling the girl who'd tried to help him with hands cute as white flower petals brought embarrassment. The one who should have offered help was himself—a prince, a male who'd grow larger than the girl, one who'd nearly been helped twice.

Even while thinking it a nonsensical reason, Rhodness waited in the library from early morning for Adrienne, day after day. One day, two days, three days...

Adrienne—who hadn't shown even her nose for nearly a week—appeared when the sun's position had changed. When Adrienne sat down and predictably pulled out her Ellaconian textbook and sighed, Rhodness quickly approached.

Thunk—

The note he'd written long ago landed on top of the Ellaconian textbook. Her startled face turned toward him. Rhodness checked with his hand whether the mask was properly attached to his face. Ordinary black hair. Ordinary black eyes. That's how he must appear.

Adrienne—slowly blinking her large eyes several times—didn't look more surprised and quietly unfolded the note. As her small hand rustled and moved, not just his heart but his face felt like bursting.

『Ellaconian language, should I help you?』