RAMHM Chapter 91

Jealousy, That Cruel Emotion

Even without Bliea Acacia or Epero present, Doris's heart felt as though it had hardened into stone. While people exclaimed over the party hall, laughing, chattering, dancing, her mood remained utterly foul.

"It's not alcohol, but shall we toast?"

Bardenaldo's friendly gesture—raising a teacup instead of a wine glass with that innocent, oblivious face—looked to her eyes like nothing more than loathsome flattery.

"You certainly made good use of my lady-in-waiting. How can I take my eyes off Your Highness for even a moment?"

"What do you mean?"

"My lady-in-waiting has become Your Highness's assistant, yet why was I kept completely in the dark?"

"Ah, you mean that matter. It only happened a few days ago. Who could have known Epero would return to the capital so suddenly?"

'Ah, you mean that matter?'

Doris nearly screamed, her mouth working silently before the music began to fade and she forced her lips shut. If that damned Prince Epero hadn't arrived, she would have summoned the Crown Prince to her palace and smashed a few vases at the very least. Just as Doris controlled the Crown Prince in exchange for keeping silent about the Grand Duke's rebels, Duke Castagna had frequently left his territory to visit the Crown Prince's palace in exchange for preventing Epero from returning home. He may have failed to stop Epero for long, but appointing Bliea as assistant and making that decision without a single consultation with her—those were entirely separate matters.

"You seem to have forgotten how much time we spent together during those few days."

"I've been frantic dealing with the aftermath of the Grand Duke's situation, haven't I?"

Doris clenched her trembling fist tightly, struggling to contain her rage. Part of the Grand Duke's authority had been transferred to Duke Castagna, and arrangements had been made with several of the Grand Ducal House's existing retainers. All to prevent the Grand Duke's remaining forces from harboring any rebellious thoughts. Of course, since the Grand Ducal retainers were either vassals of Marquess Winster—the Crown Prince's maternal grandmother—or veteran ministers of the Crown Prince faction, whatever "rebellious thoughts" they might harbor would be minor at best.

'Who will lead the Crown Prince faction.'

The positions showing Duke Castagna holding that vanguard had multiplied. Situations where Duke Castagna invited them to meetings in the capital and presided over discussions. The Crown Prince silently followed the Duke and maintained his position, while the remaining Crown Prince faction forces tacitly acknowledged Duke Castagna's leadership. Bliea had been removed, and today was supposed to be the long-awaited consummation with Bardenaldo. In short, today should have been a day when Doris felt absolutely wonderful.

"The matter with Epero is regrettable."

Despite it being his brother's welcome ceremony, Bardenaldo expressed regret without hesitation.

"Her Majesty the Empress seems quite moved by Your Highness's consideration regarding this welcome ceremony. How heartless you are."

"That's a separate matter from my affection for my brother."

So he meant it was truly troublesome that her father couldn't do his job properly.

"Countess Acacia is also a separate matter for me."

"She's taking a brief rest from attending you, isn't she? Who else in this palace can I trust and rely on? She's your person, so I entrusted her with confidence. She's a young, beautiful noblewoman, so I judged it better for society to gossip in that direction rather than politically about Epero."

"Whether you consult with me or not is also a separate matter."

Doris countered without backing down.

"This friction wouldn't have occurred if Epero hadn't returned home—why not leave it at that?"

No. If you had simply consulted with me, I wouldn't be this angry. Doris turned her head away, suppressing the rage that felt ready to split her skull. She knew that suggesting they "leave it at that" was the maximum rebellion Bardenaldo could manage. But what about this fury? A woman who should be completely discarded, who shouldn't show her face anywhere near Rhodness—there she was, right before her eyes. Not only mixing freely with people she had no business associating with, but monopolizing Rhodness's gaze and all the attention she gathered trailing those men around her!

A few steps away, Nora listened anxiously to snippets of the Crown Prince couple's conversation. She could see Doris scraping at the cuticle of her thumb with her neatly manicured index fingernail, scritch-scritch-scritch.

'Something's going to explode.'

When Doris wore that expression—lips curved upward to maintain appearances while her eyes remained completely unblinking, quietly consuming her rage—something always exploded.

"Your Highness... Your Highness!"

The hand forcefully pulling her slender arm wasn't painful, but it was rough. His broad back rose with tension or fury—she couldn't tell which. Adrienne, bewildered by this side of Rhodness she'd never seen before, was dragged along helplessly. The moment they entered a deserted corridor, Rhodness abruptly stopped his rapid stride.

"What did you discuss?"

Adrienne hesitated. Should she share her conversation with Epero with Rhodness too? Shouldn't she wait until she was more certain? If she recounted every detail of Epero's impudent behavior, knowing his temperament, he might return immediately to smash the prince's skull before even hearing the full story.

"Even if it seems deserted, there might be listening ears. I'll organize my thoughts and tell you later when we're alone somewhere quiet."

Adrienne answered quietly, prioritizing delivering only the essentials later rather than mentioning Epero's rudeness. But Rhodness listened to her answer without any change in expression, then let out a derisive laugh. Pfft. At that sound bordering on mockery, Adrienne stared blankly up at his lips.

"And when will that be?"

At his scornful response, Adrienne gathered her momentarily flustered emotions.

"First... I need to carry out my assigned duties for a few days. You know that."

"...Where do I rank for you?"

Adrienne momentarily lost her words. A sudden emotion surged up inside her. When Epero had asked earlier why she distinguished between enemy and ally, what her purpose was, Adrienne had unconsciously looked at Rhodness. What she wanted was a future. A future she could envision with Rhodness. She lived in the present for revenge against the past, but now that she had a healthy body, she too wanted to dream of a somewhat human future. If only that were possible. Truly, if only that were possible. Between knowing the truth and dying versus burying the truth and living—she would choose the former. She felt she couldn't move forward without erasing all those foolish past days.

"Ah, that work. Work is important."

"......"

"I'm your friend too. You don't use a perfectly good friend, yet you keep making other friends—it makes me angry."

Rhodness's voice, thick with self-mockery and heavy derision, drove deep into the silence. Adrienne thought that voice sounded like a soliloquy directed at himself rather than at her.

"Am I even your 'friend'?"

"...Of course you are."

Her heart ached.

Adrienne answered, struggling to hide her trembling voice.

"Of course you are, Your Highness. You said earlier that I'm your irreplaceable dear friend..."

"Then what kind of friend keeps so many secrets?"

Was he doing this because she hadn't properly explained her conversation with Epero? At this atmosphere so starkly different from usual, Adrienne hurriedly continued.

"Prince Epero realized I was the one who summoned him, so I told him I wanted to be on friendly terms."

Thinking back, summoning Epero hadn't been discussed with Rhodness either—the realization stung.

"How much more friendly will you become?"

"As much as necessary."

At her answer that she would become as friendly as needed, Rhodness fell briefly silent.

"...Can't I suffice? No—if you'd asked me in the first place instead of summoning Epero, it wouldn't have been difficult to enter as the Crown Prince's assistant."

"I needed justification."

"Can't justification be created? Why must you bring in someone else and suffer so much?"

His voice held a low resonance while remaining calm, without any trace of agitation. Yet Adrienne couldn't shake the feeling that Rhodness was angry.

"This much isn't suffering. I made this decision because I thought I could handle it."

"...Is relying on me that difficult?"

Ah. So that was the reason. Adrienne released the tension in her stiffened neck briefly, loosened her grip on her dress hem, and clasped her hands politely in front of her. He was right. If she'd asked him, it would have been somewhat easier. But Adrienne had judged it better to be by the Crown Prince's side due to his need rather than because Rhodness asked—that way, if the plan went wrong somehow...

"Are you doing this because you're afraid something might happen to me if the plan goes wrong?"

"......"

At her silent affirmation, Rhodness roughly swept his hand up over his cheek. His complexion was pale, but his neck flushed bright red.

"Can't I even give you that much trust? Are we truly friends? You trust, ask favors of, and use everyone else, but never me."

"Your Highness."

"It drives me mad, Adrienne."

At those words pouring out with cold breath, Adrienne couldn't answer.

"That I still remain for you as 'An' from those childhood days."

Ah—those wounded eyes. Seeing those wavering red eyes, Adrienne couldn't produce any voice at all.

"That I can't even become a proper friend to you."

Rhodness knew too. Resenting Adrienne wouldn't solve the problem. But hadn't he been patient enough all this time? She was a woman who had shared hearts with him, then married another man and even loved him. She was throwing herself recklessly into discovering the truth, consequences be damned. But throughout that process, he felt completely excluded.

"Fine—friends. Finding the truth—all fine. Whatever becomes of us in the future, being those damned friends now—all fine. But... today is a bit hard."

"Your Highness."

"I just... I just felt I needed to say at least this much."

Rhodness moved closer as if drawn, gripped her shoulders, and lowered his head. Seeing his solid shoulders trembling faintly, Adrienne could no longer respond. Though not a single tear fell to the floor, he shook as if weeping. Adrienne remained captured by him like someone bound. And at the end of endless silence, Rhodness's voice finally emerged.

"I'm jealous."

"!"

"Those fucking bastards... Sorry, I know you hate cursing but just forgive me today. All I could think was wanting to remove those bastards from before my eyes. My insides were burning up, and even knowing you had not the slightest interest in those people, my throat kept burning until I thought I'd go mad. I'm sorry. For saying such pathetic things."

"Your Highness."

"Yeah. I know. That I have no right to say these things now. I'm throwing this tantrum when we're merely friends—the moment I speak of anything more, I'm terrified of how I might torment you."

He muttered as if chewing and spitting the words. His voice held thick contempt directed at himself.

"I didn't know that. That I was originally that kind of bastard. That's why before too, I couldn't bear seeing you beside another man... and ended up unable to come near the capital, just wandering the frontier seeing nothing but blood."