SALP Chapter 37

"Haaaaah."

Lanthe let out one deep sigh after another.

The sample leathers and ornaments the shoemaker had laid out for her to choose materials from were extravagant beyond measure. At this point, everything before her eyes seemed to transform into debt she owed Vigo.

She'd heard that in cities ruled by a lord, even the concept was that one borrowed everything from the lord—every product made within the castle walls, every natural resource. Now that she'd become conscious of 'Vigo's wealth' being lavished upon her so generously, she felt that from now on, even eating a single piece of bread would feel like consuming debt.

"Then I'll finish the work within a fortnight and bring them to you."

Just as the shoemaker bowed and was about to leave the room—

"Hello there!"

Jingle-jangle.

"A pleasure to meet you, beautiful lady!"

Tinkle-tinkle.

"Oh my, we're so, so honored to meet you!"

"Glory to the Lord of Hermea!"

A pair of merchants—man and woman—came to visit Lanthe, their greetings announced by the clatter of gold trinkets and jewels adorning their entire bodies colliding against each other in place of a knock. Waving their hands while carrying dazzling jewelry boxes as large as their flamboyant appearance under their arms...

"Guess what we brought today, my lady?"

"Ta-da! A whole collection of swoon-worthy lovely ornaments!"

"Over here too, loads of them!"

"......"

Lanthe's mind went hazy, and she simply turned around and walked away.

Then, thump, she went to the bed and flopped face-down, muttering.

"I'm not buying anything. Actually, I'm a slave who works here."

Even after being turned away at the door, the jewel merchants covered their mouths with velvet-gloved hands and giggled.

"Oh my! Where would you find slaves in this day and age!"

"You're quite the jokester! Hohoho!"

Wait a moment.

Could Vigo have sent them?

That suspicion suddenly began creeping up on her, unfurling like smoke.

That's right. To torment me. To deliberately make me incur debt and increase the pressure...

"We'll help you try them on. Some pieces need adjustments to fit the wearer, you see."

This is a scheme to torment me. No doubt about it.

Lanthe clenched her fists tight.

Then Nina grabbed Lanthe's fist as it was and unfurled her fingers one by one.

"We'll fit rings too, right? My sister's fingers are pretty, aren't they?"

Nina's grip was stronger than expected. Had Vigo felt this way long ago, dragged here and there by her own strong childish hands? And yet somehow their positions had reversed, and today too, tears nearly pricked Lanthe's eyes at her own powerlessness, swept along by his machinations.

"My, my, what a spirited young miss! Just as you say, our elder miss has fingers like works of art. This one and that one will all suit you beautifully."

"Oh, just a moment please. Could you not clench your fist and stay still? We need to measure the circumference of all five fingers."

This world was riddled with absurdity. It was something she felt keenly every day in Penmark, but still.

What if this hurt young Nina? Her father and she worked hard every day, sweating to earn enough to maybe—maybe—buy one modest outfit, while someone else received such luxurious items simply for being Vigo's acquaintance, lazing about doing nothing—what on earth was she supposed to think seeing this...

"Wow! The diamond flower design is really cool! Look at this, Lanthe!"

Wouldn't she feel envious and upset...

"Sister, sister! Hurry and get up and try this on! I'm so happy I get to see things like this! When I grow up and get married, I hope you'll pass this down to me as my wedding gift. Ehehe!"

"......"

Right. Whatever the case, let those who are happy continue being happy. If just looking at jewelry brings joy, then let her look to her heart's content.

If it's not Vigo's calculated prank, then the administrator must clearly be misunderstanding something.

Tomorrow I'll confess the truth to Vigo and return everything, and that'll be that...

A short while later, the jewel merchants released Lanthe and departed.

Only after Lanthe received clear confirmation from Rix that no one else would be visiting did she finally release the tension from her upturned eyes.

"I'm exhausted..."

"Ah, I need to hurry home too! I'll get scolded by Dad for being out late."

"Wait, Nina. I'll ask Sir Rix to take you home."

Lanthe poked her head out to find Rix, who'd gone outside, but discovered him in conversation with Warner and retreated back into the room.

"Let's wait a moment. We can ask him to drop you off on the way."

"Okay!"

Watching Nina's bright smile, Lanthe's troubled heart lightened somewhat.

"...I feel a bit strange having received so much alone."

So she spoke honestly, almost like acting spoiled.

"It feels unfair somehow."

She would return everything that could be returned, but still.

"Why? Lanthe, you're the lord's friend, so it's natural for you to share what belongs to the lord."

Nina tilted her head this way and that, as if it were strange.

"It's not natural."

Lanthe shook her head.

"There's been some misunderstanding. We're not on terms where I should receive things like this for free."

If it had been back when she lived with him like family, would she have brazenly accepted even such expensive items?

In any case, they were no longer on terms where they could share with 'each other' like in the old days.

Moreover, no matter how much it came from Vigo, having benefits that came 'from the outside world' bestowed upon her unilaterally felt somewhat suspicious and even frightening.

"Oh, come on. Sister, you're going to take on important work in the future, so it's good to get used to being treated well starting now."

Nina raised the corners of her mouth meaningfully.

"What important work am I taking on?"

Lanthe laughed, finding it absurd even to herself.

Taking on important work? Being captured by Derek and singing with her tone-deaf skills without understanding why—could that count as important work?

"Lanthe, you see, later on you're going to take on super important work in Hermea, but only you don't know it. Hehehe."

Nina's laughter grew increasingly mischievous.

Ah. She must be talking about that 'lord's wife' business...

"Who in Hermea isn't important? Right now I'm doing a bit more work than you but getting better things—that's unfair."

Lanthe deliberately feigned ignorance about the 'lord's wife' matter and spouted generalities instead.

Even as her ears burned hot at the thought that it was ridiculous for her to spout righteous words when she couldn't prove anything with her own strength.

"The world is naturally unfair. This can't even really be called true unfairness."

Nina continued in a breezy tone.

"You know, Dad and I aren't originally from Hermea. We came from far down south. Mom was sick and needed a lot of money for medicine, so Dad came all the way to the Northern Sea looking for a job that paid well. But it's too cold here, so we couldn't bring Mom and my little brother."

"Nina..."

Lanthe's expression clouded at this unexpected piece of personal history.

But Nina continued cheerfully while fiddling with the jeweled pin she'd been urging Lanthe to try on in her hair since earlier.

"The kids here didn't approach me much. I helped Dad with his reindeer-keeper work, so I often smelled like animals and my clothes were dirty. At first, some kids even called me 'commoner.'"

Lanthe stared blankly at the jeweled pin Nina was casually fiddling with.

"Those kids live with their parents and play inside warm houses even during the day. They're not a different class from me, but in reality it's as if they are. Unfairness exists everywhere."

A strange thought suddenly struck her.

If that jewel were hers.

If she could have those things as Nina wished, and someday gift them to Nina too.

Even though such thoughts might be nothing more than low-grade sympathy or selfish empathy.

"But anyway, I don't have time to play with kids. Following adults around and learning work is much more fun and rewarding. I like living in Hermea. The lord is handsome and he's a hero who saved my dad, and he gives me errands to run, which I really love. And sister, you're someone Lord Vigo likes, so..."

Nina grinned and glanced at her knowingly.

...Silly girl. What do you mean someone the lord likes?

Should she teach her that she wasn't actually such a person?

But did she really need to confess reality to a mere nine-year-old child...

"You little imp."

Lanthe just smiled, pretending to pinch Nina's cheek.

"Don't misunderstand. Now I've come to like Lanthe just as much as Lord Vigo. You're pretty and smart and you read me books, so you're my pride. So when you wear pretty clothes and have pretty jewels, I'm happy too. Now the other kids will envy me for having a sister like you, won't they?"

Lanthe quietly pulled the grinning Nina into an embrace.

"I know. I'm glad you like me. The reason doesn't matter."

A child of the outside world's devil.

A child she would have thought of that way in the old days, before even knowing her properly.

But now that she looked, this child was a better human than herself. A human with a bigger, broader heart.

The countless people she'd met in Hermea were all better humans than herself—people living valuable lives doing meaningful work. Far better humans than herself, who could only spout righteous words, inwardly rage at injustice, and criticize others.

It was frustrating. Because now she could even somewhat understand Fiarelle's gaze that had treated her like a foolish country bumpkin.

"Thinking I'm pretty and smart... that's only because you're such a child yourself that you look at me with kind eyes, Nina."

The truth is, I'm inadequate.

When I was nine, I was inadequate, troubling the adoptive mother who raised me. When I was twenty, I was inadequate, staring blankly and dazedly as my neighbors died before my eyes.

I want to become a better person.

I want to become someone to be proud of.

I want to become someone who can be even the smallest source of pride for Nina, for Aunt Louise, for the neighbors watching over me from heaven.

How can I do that?

How can I become that kind of person?

What must I do to not shame the people who treated my inadequate self preciously?

...Angel.

Lanthe called out to the angel who had not responded since that day.

What should I do? What do you want me to do—is that why you sent me here? I truly don't know.

Left alone, Lanthe gazed at the dark winter night visible through the window.

'I want to become a better person.'

'I want to become someone to be proud of.'

The unfamiliar desire occupying her mind mingled with the night sky's scenery, undulating like black fog.

In the pitch darkness, she didn't sleep but sank into thought.

Gazing at the faintly glowing golden moon, she suddenly recalled the 10 kronet she'd given up.

And she thought about the things that could be done with 10 kronet.

Yesterday she'd evaded the essence of the proposal she'd heard from Vigo, prattling on like an idealist and achieving her goal with nothing but a louder voice. She'd protected the angel statue instead of 10 kronet. Said she'd gift it to the church.

But in the end, the angel statue had become her personal possession. So unless she herself became a sculptor capable of creating more angel statues, ultimately she would have merely given up 10 kronet and done nothing at all...

"Am I doing the right thing?"

The thoughts she traced into the dark night sky connected tail to tail, following the stars linked in faint trails of light.