SALP Chapter 8

"I'm not going back!"

A shrill voice burst out without her meaning it to. Lanthe stepped back, creating distance from him.

"I'll never go back to him."

Why doesn't he understand? She understood why he could endure the cold wind without being bothered. Because he'd become a colder person himself.

"It wouldn't be bad for you either."

He lowered his eyes. He seemed to be examining something under the desk.

"Derek Gebimonde is a man with a useful body and ability even among the young kings of the Allied Kingdoms."

Sliiiide—as he rose, his long shadow stretched toward the opposite side from the window.

"Did you not hear me say he killed Aunt Louise?"

Lanthe stepped back again. Thud—one heel touched the door.

"You don't like him because he's a murderer?"

He said, faintly contemptuous—said it more to himself than to her.

"Looking for a clean human?"

Though his tone was gentle, he approached with a rigidly hardened expression.

Thud, thud—the heavy footsteps made her breathing feel stifled.

The boy who used to run to her with delighted steps and a loving smile whenever he saw her no longer existed in this world.

She lost him that day. The kind, warm Raphlishian boy had vanished forever, leaving only a cold, dry Penmarkian.

"You ran away right before the wedding?"

He grabbed her arm and pulled her sharply toward him.

Thump—with a sensation of her heart sinking, she collided with his chest. Even as she raised her chin to glare at him, her heart pounded anxiously.

"How long did you live together? A few weeks? A few months?"

His questioning tone sounded leisurely but was overbearing. 

Like Newbella's soldiers had been to Roas.

"He doesn't seem to have treated you badly."

He scrutinized her face and the nape of her neck exposed above her collar as though appraising her. An explicit gaze. Meanwhile, his other hand stroked the small of her back. The touch that handled her carelessly as though she were his showed no affection or respect.

"You don't seem particularly thin."

Her face flushed hot at the rude, unrestrained contact.

How can you do this to me? Don't you even remember when you'd blush shyly and laugh when I hugged you? Or was my expectation wrong from the start—that a man with a body so different from back then could still hold the same soul?

"Was the bed not good?"

He encircled her waist restrictively and pulled her close, pressing them together. The breath touching her ear was incongruously warm. The whispering voice carried a hint of his childhood self.

I snuck out without mom knowing, so it's a secret—that whisper. That boy.

"...Vigo."

Though she felt confused and even angry at her changed childhood friend's attitude, the longing rose to her throat and Lanthe couldn't push him away.

"I heard his equipment is as big as mine. Was the technique terrible?"

"I'm going to Floretta."

The voice she wrung out came cracked, barely audible as she squeezed it out.

"I'll live there on my own."

Floretta, the free city ruled by its citizens. A place with no discrimination by origin or status, where anyone could find work they could do, labor, and receive payment to live. Fiarelle had taught her about it in a rather pleased tone, calling it a stumbling block perceived as an adversary to promoting the imperial state.

She wanted to go to that land of freedom. A world resembling Roas existed somewhere in this cold land.

"Floretta."

Vigo, who'd been quiet as if lost in thought, released her waist and stepped back. As though he'd lost interest, he moved back several steps and sat on the windowsill, looking up at her intently.

"What will you do there?"

She could now tell his gentle tone and smile were fake.

"I can polish noblewomen's shoes or clean horse dung. What I do is my business."

She snapped back rebelliously without meaning to, then quickly changed her tone.

"Let me go. If I earn money, I'll send it here. I don't know if I can earn 20,000 krone, but I'll pay it back for the rest of my life."

When she'd first opened her eyes in this castle's bedroom and heard Nina's story, Lanthe had held a vague hope that she might be able to live here with Vigo.

But now she keenly realized how shameless and foolish that thought had been. She couldn't bring herself to beg to be taken in and fed by someone who was going to sell her to the enemy for a huge reward.

"It might sound shameless, but, Vigo..."

"I refuse, Lanthe."

He rejected her flatly.

"It's not about the money. What would I say to Gebimonde? I can't fail to protect someone entrusted to my castle. Honor is more important than money."

As though Lanthe's name was no longer on the list of things he valued.

She dimly understood. Begging would be useless.

"...You'll sell me for money but honor is more important than money."

Heh, heh—his laughter sounded light enough to blow away on the wind.

"'Face,' let's correct that. Your personality hasn't changed."

Does he really remember me?

Does he remember himself?

Those days more precious than gold...

"You've completely changed."

"Yeah?"

If he remembered those days, he couldn't laugh lightly while talking about money or face as the price of her life.

"Completely... disgustingly changed."

Lanthe added the spiteful words as if returning to the past, then immediately regretted it.

Fortunately, he showed no sign of anger. Instead, he laughed openly and ran his hand through his disheveled front hair with a smooth motion, as if his mood had improved.

"Rix."

"Yes, my lord."

A husky, deep voice came from outside the window.

"Call Nina and tell her to take Lanthe to eat."

Vigo closed the window and walked back toward Lanthe. Their shoulders brushed. He passed without stopping, opened the door, and spoke like an order.

"You wait here."

Could she secretly escape?

"Vigo."

It didn't seem possible. The miracle that happened in Newbella didn't seem likely to happen again just anytime.

"Just behave for a few days. I'll let you meet your fiancé when he comes."

She had to persuade Vigo.

"He's not my fiancé!"

She couldn't get through to him at all and her chest felt completely blocked.

"He's a demon. I can't go to someone like that...!"

He suddenly turned to look at her.

"...There's no such thing as demons, Lanthe."

His eyes and voice both contradicted it. Like a demon saying so.

"As long as they wear human skin, they're just human."

Then he softened his expression slightly and continued.

"Human nature is all the same, Lanthe."

That's not true. Even if it is, humans don't only live according to their nature. You know that, Vigo.

"You pursued excessive purity. The have-nots glorifying not having as a virtue is a common self-consolation method, so I understand."

You. Not us, but you...?

She looked up at his face in a daze. Then, as he met her gaze piercingly, he suddenly touched her cheek lightly with his finger. In that startled moment, a strand of hair that had fallen brushed past her cheek and was tucked behind her ear.

Only then did she newly realize this room had been cold. Because his hand grazing her cheek was unexpectedly warm.

"At least the world you'll have to live in from now on is like that. Gebimonde is a decent husband who can guarantee you a comfortable life, so don't complain."

Thud—the sound of the door closing rang out coldly.

Where he'd passed, only the cold-dried scent of a winter forest remained.

His unfamiliar attitude and words rustled noisily through her mind like leaves in the wind.

But in the cold fragrance, the scent of the Roas forest where they'd played together also seemed to linger faintly, and Lanthe, leaning against the door, held back the tears gathering in her eyes.

The one she'd waited for and missed for ten years.

She couldn't tell if she'd found him or lost him. Him approaching within reach yet just beyond it—the kindness of the boy she'd loved, she missed it with a fierceness she couldn't name.

She felt like her breath would stop.

A guard was posted. The very next morning when she opened her eyes and looked outside, some large knight was pacing in front of Lanthe's room, watching.

"The dried apricots are delicious, aren't they, sis? I picked and dried these myself."

Nina chattered away easily. Even the fierce-looking soldiers didn't seem to frighten her at all—they must be like family to her. Right, when they'd exchanged greetings, that knight named Rix had been rather kind.

The problem was a different human.

"Is the lord kind to you, Nina?"

Lanthe asked while chewing dried apricots with a crunch, crunch. Based on his personality alone, he didn't seem like a man worthy of being a young girl's pride, she thought, chewing on the snack instead of yesterday's memories.

"Kind?"

Nina made a subtle expression with her cheeks puffed out. After hemming and hawing, she whispered her answer.

"Our lord doesn't usually give women much ground. He might wag his tail around Lanthe sis though."

...Where to even start addressing this.

"He's not wagging his tail at me either. Not at all."

He's not a puppy, where's this tail? Or maybe a wolf's tail?

"Still, someone at the lord's level—he's a person of character you can reason with. Wanting more than power, good looks, and a good body from a man is greedy."

Greedy.

"I don't particularly want anything."

She'd never really wanted power or anything else from him.

"I'm not going to live with him anyway."

Oops, the last part was said carelessly. Seeing Nina's expression, she seemed to have stirred up unnecessary imagination.

"Hehe. You never know about people."

"You cheeky little thing, grinning like that."

But Nina was right.

The future turned out unexpectedly. Just like how her circumstances had changed and Vigo had changed.

"Anyway, the lord is a good person to Nina, right?"

At Lanthe's question, concealing her empty heart, Nina nodded without hesitation.

"Of course! My father likes the lord too, and everyone working in the castle likes him. Oh, except for a few people!"

Since he saved Nina's father, of course she would.

Actually, he was Lanthe's lifesaver too.

But he was going to return her to the murderer who killed her family in exchange for a huge reward.

"Except for a few people... I see."

She smiled bitterly.

'From now on, that "few people" might include me too.'