STVWDTD Chapter 34

Don't Hold Back

The man's footsteps breaking the quiet and the woman's rapid steps following him echoed through the corridor.

The entire walk, Rodrick kept confirming Diana's presence.

He gripped and released the slender wrist in his palm repeatedly, as if she might be an illusion.

He didn't even notice his own hand was hot enough to burn.

"Ah."

Stumble. She couldn't keep pace with his stride and missed her footing. With beast-like reflexes, he swept Diana into his arms in one motion.

"Careful."

"..."

The blue eyes that had been only cold now burned like blue flames kindling from the depths.

At the feeling of her breath so close, Rodrick found relief. As if even that wasn't enough, he pulled her tight against him and headed for the bedroom.

"Rodrick."

"..."

A strange experience. Sharing a body with another person, becoming a third party observer—not a pleasant sensation at all.

The body responded faithfully to her, but unable to move according to his own will, he'd felt suffocated.

He sat on the bed and settled her on his thighs. In that fixed stare without a word, worry seeped into her pink eyes.

"Did it hurt a lot?"

Diana reached to touch the cheek where swelling was beginning to subside with his insane recovery rate.

"Why."

"Hm?"

Her hand lost direction and headed for the solid chest muscle instead. Rodrick pulled her hand down and placed it over his heart.

The body that had briefly lost control felt foreign even moving a single muscle. Even his own voice seemed strange.

"Why do you keep worming your way into my heart?"

Did Diana know?

When she collapsed as if crumbling in pain. When he saw her back transformed into a mass of wounds. When she gazed at her own back in dismay, tears falling pitifully. In eyes that had lost vitality as if resigned—it felt like a heavy boulder crushed his chest.

An emotion he'd never experienced in his life invaded, as if strangling his throat.

He'd wanted to hold Diana in his arms immediately, but the body stripped of control wouldn't move.

Frustration, longing, confusion, regret. Everything mixed and gave birth to fury.

"Why pretend nothing's wrong. Why stay so calm."

He stroked her back, caressing it. Not a sensual touch, but one heavy with concern.

Diana watched him for a moment before speaking with a faint smile.

"I'm fine."

Rodrick pressed his forehead against her shoulder to hide his twisting expression.

"You're not fine."

As time passed, the emotions she stirred didn't lose their color—they only grew more vivid and intense.

If all those various colors tangled together and turned black, would this frustration disappear?

"Diana."

Rodrick lifted his head, blue eyes meeting hers directly, as if he'd decided on an answer, not avoiding.

From the moment he met her, perhaps? Like clothes soaking in drizzle, he'd been drenched little by little. Her every action tore at his heart.

Because she didn't cry, his pounding heart caused a sharp ache. That made him angry. His voice sank low.

"Don't pretend to be fine in front of me."

"..."

What are you talking about? She tried to laugh it off, but his serious demeanor made her expression harden.

How did he know? Diana bit her lower lip.

Just an extra in the novel. Of course she'd have a terminal illness. She'd been thinking that way when she discovered the unexpected whip marks and curse—the shock had been beyond imagination.

She'd said she'd contained the shock's aftermath, but emotions she couldn't suppress were leaking out.

She was just clutching her racing heart and desperately pretending not to notice. Because there were so many things to solve immediately.

"What does it matter?"

The words came out sharp, protruding like thorns. But the sorrow she'd pressed down so hard wavered greatly just from being noticed.

"Diana."

That low, deeply feeling voice stimulated her tear ducts. Against her will, tears fell cold.

"What if I'm not okay?"

One drop, two drops. In the falling tears, suppressed fear emerged.

Think about it. Forgotten memories were already absurd enough, but whip marks on her back? Of course she was afraid. The fragmentary memories that resurfaced brought with them the terror of that time.

She wanted to say she was scared. That she'd been frightened. She wanted to grab Rodrick's ancestor and cry and demand why this had happened to her.

"But I really am fine."

But the ancestor she'd accuse had entered the ring.

"I was fine."

As Rodrick urged her to release the emotions she'd pressed down, Diana struck his chest weakly as if venting.

"I'm holding it together, so why do you keep making me weak? Hng."

She poured out tears without holding back, just as he'd told her. Through vision blurred by tears, she saw Rodrick's softened face.

"Because I'm strong, so it's okay."

At words spoken so casually, her sorrow exploded even more.

"Who are you for me to be okay! What are you to me?!"

She wasn't his fiancée or anything else. Just two people helping heal each other's bodies. Nothing more, nothing less.

"If you want me to be a knight."

Rodrick lifted her clenched fist and kissed it.

"I'll make a knight's vow."

The kisses didn't stop, continuing on and on.

"If you want a husband, I'll send a marriage proposal."

He kissed precisely the fourth finger.

"If you want a servant, I'll even write a slave contract."

An indescribable emotion flowed down, making her pink eyes hazy.

"Don't hold back. If you're scared, say you're scared. I'll accept it all."

At the confession filled with sincerity, Diana couldn't hold back—she clung to his chest and poured out her sorrow in a wail.

"Hnngh, I won't let those bastards who turned my body into a sunfish get away with it!"

He silently held her, patting her back. The back that had become smooth again showed no trace of scars.

Just temporarily concealed by magic. The wounds hadn't disappeared.

That shock was branded in his mind too, refusing to fade.

Yes. Those who'd wounded her—he wouldn't let them be.

He held her preciously, like protecting a small bird that had flown into his arms.

Outside the window the rain had stopped, but the rain soaking his chest continued to fall.

A tall, well-built figure with black hair. Red eyes characteristic of Beatus opened in a prison blocked on all sides.

"Kugh."

The man hanging from chains was a mass of blood from whipping.

Not a single uninjured place on him—this was the eldest son of House Beatus. Devir Beatus.

"Haa."

He spat out the clot of blood surging up and tilted his head back, exhaling. His whereabouts unknown, he was imprisoned in the Imperial Princess's special dungeon.

"That child escaped."

He spoke to the empty air.

"Yes."

"Who."

"They say it was Schwartz's tyrant."

Strength entered the body hanging limp in chains. A bloody smile rose over the sculptured face wet with sweat.

"The timing's almost funny."

The youngest hadn't been included in the plan to draw in Schwartz.

He'd locked her away to protect her, and she'd gotten entangled with Schwartz. With the bastard called the tyrant of battlefields, no less.

"Haa. Nathan?"

"He departed from the North for the capital."

"Vanessa's condition?"

"Fluctuating according to the Crown Prince's attitude. Rumors are already spreading in the palace that she's throwing tantrums. The talk isn't good."

The prospective Crown Princess's standing shrinking—obvious without seeing.

The Crown Prince was using the new woman he'd brought in to weaken Vanessa's psychological state.

Devir Beatus squeezed his eyes shut as if suppressing something, then opened them.

In the quietly burning gaze, killing intent surged. The subordinate hidden in shadow swallowed nervously.

"First, you go to the North yourself and confirm the youngest's condition."

"Yes."

"If anything happens to that child, the North is also excluded."

"I obey your command."

The subordinate bowing his head asked carefully.

"How long will you remain here?"

"It's about time to leave. The more power I use, the more burden it places on that child."

This goddamn power. It was eating away at the youngest's lifespan.

"Since I entered of my own accord, I should at least destroy all the tablets the Imperial Princess possesses."

That much would make it worth the cost, wouldn't it? Eyes twisted with madness sank cold.

Rattle— Diana, riding in the carriage, came to her senses at the jolting. She'd left the castle for a change of mood.

A lot had happened in a short time.

After the red energy disappeared, the servants' attitude toward her became respectful again. Those who'd harbored complaints were all dismissed.

The daughters of vassal families that Irin had drawn in were also cut off by the Duke working behind the scenes, unable to recover.

Irin, the instigator of all this, was rumored to have become an idiot from the shock of confinement in the annex. Probably a side effect from losing the medium she'd used for curses, but Diana decided not to care.

Nathan disappeared leaving only a single letter. With a terrifying warning to stay away from Rodrick, he'd departed for the capital.

But hadn't Nathan come while on duty? According to Rodrick, Nathan was currently serving with the Western Duke's knight order.

She'd pondered Nathan's duty station, but—he'd handle it. The worry evaporated quickly.

"My lady. Where shall I take you?"

The carriage stopped at the village square and the door opened. It wasn't the person who usually escorted her.

"Not Sir Daren?"

"Ah, Vice-Commander Daren has separate business."

Daren had been excluded from duty due to rumors linking him with Diana, but the knight kept his words brief.

"I'm Berzh Vaughentapf. It's an honor to escort you, my lady."

He hadn't greeted her when she boarded the carriage since she'd been in a daze.

The large man with a bushy beard was one of the elite knights supporting Rodrick.

"Nice to meet you, Sir Berzh. I'll be counting on you today."

Berzh scratched his head at the beauty's smile, laughing hehe good-naturedly.

"Where shall I take you?"

"Hmm, what's the most famous place here?"

"If you haven't decided on a specific location, may I make a recommendation?"

"Of course."

At her permission, Berzh smiled brightly. Should she describe him as an excited bear? A knight who made even observers feel good.

The place Berzh took her was a tavern bustling even at an early hour.

"Honey! I'm here!"

Bang— From the entrance he entered boisterously, and everyone's eyes fixed on Berzh.

"You're here? What's the occasion? Aren't you on duty right now?"

At the proprietress's calm response, the interior grew raucous and noisy again.

The proprietress busily carried plates and wooden beer mugs.

"Honey, look here. Look who I brought."

"Can't you see I'm busy?! If you're off duty, help me out."

"No, I'm on duty though."

Diana, hidden behind the bear-like large frame, poked her head out.

Her pink eyes sparkled with interest. Even born into this world, she'd rarely experienced the outside. It had been a long time since she'd been to such a lively tavern.

"Oh my."

The proprietress, setting down glasses on a table and turning, let out an exclamation and approached her.

"My lady, this is my wife, Carol Vaughentapf. Carol, this is—"

"I wanted to meet you! My lady!"

Before Berzh could introduce Diana, Carol grabbed Diana's hands warmly, smiling with delight.

"H-honey. This is the ducal lady."

The only married man among the elite knights. Berzh Vaughentapf broke into a sweat at his wife's rudeness.