STVWDTD Chapter 5

Just Throw Me Over Your Shoulder?

Just touching Rodrick was enough to send her spirits soaring—Diana couldn't suppress the smile threatening to crack her face open.

No, wait. Who was this insane woman staring at him like he'd done something unforgivable?

"Excuse me. Commander."

"……."

Rodrick turned away from Diana without acknowledging her, already scanning the surroundings for an exit.

"Commander? How did you even get in here? Did you follow the crow, or...?"

"……."

He ignored her entirely, focused on the task at hand. Diana watched him for a moment, then shrugged. Slow and steady. She didn't know much about him yet.

The younger brother's older brother. Cursed with madness. Dies destroying himself on the battlefield.

That much intel wasn't nearly enough to understand this man. She needed to approach carefully. One wrong move and he might become unapproachable. But if she was desperate enough... she might just throw caution to the wind.

A staircase materialized in her recovered vision.

"There. Stairs—!"

But Rodrick had spotted them first. He strode past her without hesitation, moving with long, purposeful strides.

"Commander, wait! Let's go together!"

Negotiations required patience. Before she made any deals about the curse, maybe she should try to get closer to him first. But he wouldn't answer.

Noel was gone, and that worried her. But the boy could use magic naturally—he'd be safe somewhere. And given that Rodrick's location had shifted, the odds he'd ended up outside the castle were high.

Surely he didn't fall into a monster-infested pit like the werewolf incident. That had been terrifying.

"Wait. Lady."

Diana, lost in thought, walked straight into his broad back and nose-first into the impact.

"Ah."

Before she could say anything, the magical circle beneath their feet activated again. No. Please. No more.

A music-box melody drifted through the air. ♬~♩~♪

The magical circle deposited them into familiar territory—the western corridor she'd walked with Noel.

Rodrick emerged through the fog. Diana swallowed a sigh.

Starting over. Again. No more need to find cursed dolls. They just needed to escape the castle, and then she could figure out how to handle him. That was what she'd been scheming, before—

Sticky. Cold. Something gripped her hand.

Diana's face drained of color. This couldn't be. Please tell her this wasn't—

"Um. Commander? Or, Your Grace? Your— your Excellence?"

One of Rodrick's eyebrows arched upward at her wavering titles.

"Is there something next to me?"

Rodrick, watching her with detached indifference, answered shortly: "Yeah. When'd the runt show up?"

"What?"

She looked down at her hand, clasped in the pale, cold grip of something small.

[Mama?]

"Ahhh!"

Diana screamed without thinking and immediately clung to Rodrick. His frown deepened into something genuinely displeased.

"Let go. Lady."

"No, wait! I'm not wearing away at you!"

[Mama? You're not... mama?]

The small thing stared up at her with floating, searching eyes before they snapped wide—pupils expanding until they consumed nearly everything. The pupils dilated like some kind of horror film.

The sensation crawled across her skin like a thousand needle pricks.

When the child grew angry, magical circles began forming everywhere.

Menacing sigils sprawled across every surface, dense enough to blot out thought. She couldn't tell where they'd transport next or what creature might emerge.

"Yes! You're right, it's mama!"

[Huh?]

One of the circles vanished as the child tilted its head.

"Oh goodness, mama just got such a fright she couldn't answer fast enough. I'm sorry, sweetheart."

Diana sweated through her clothes as she gripped Rodrick's arm. The child stared at his arm, then looked up at him.

[You're papa?]

"Yeah. Sure. Papa. Ha ha. Our papa is quite handsome, isn't he?"

The look Rodrick gave her was withering—pure contempt delivered through his eyes. Diana swallowed hard and whispered urgently: "Play along. That child seems to be triggering the magical circles."

As her anxiety faded, the circles spread across the hallway vanished.

[Doesn't papa get along well with mama?]

"What? We get along wonderfully. Right, dear?"

She wrapped herself around his muscular arm. This man was absolutely her cure. The closer she stayed, the more strength flowed back into her.

She was indulging a little selfishly when she saw his hand drifting toward his sword.

"Wait!"

Before she could stop him, Rodrick's blade swept across the child's throat with surgical precision. Clean. Diagonal. Professional.

She lost the ability to speak.

She'd heard the rumors—that he was obsessed with slaughter. But slaughtering children without hesitation?

Except the child didn't disappear. It just hung from his blade, laughing.

Like a kid playing on the monkey bars.

Diana felt her face go white.

The child's laughter—high and eerie—gave her chills unlike anything she'd experienced.

Rodrick clicked his tongue and lowered his blade. "You can let go too."

No, I'm too terrified to let go.

"Commander, please. Just—could you play along as husband and wife for a bit? Please?"

Diana clung to him desperately. Most men would've agreed by now. He was not most men.

"You will, won't you? Dear?"

She winked at him with exaggerated sweetness.

His blank expression hardened further.

"You're insane."

"I'm perfectly rational."

"You will be, soon."

Rodrick pressed a single finger to her forehead and pushed. Hard.

"Let go."

This man's behavior was becoming increasingly rude. Absolutely not the way to treat a noblewoman. Then again, her behavior wasn't exactly proper either.

Fine. Push me away. I'll just come back closer. His cool presence erased any objection.

[Mama, papa really do get along well, don't they?]

"Hmm?"

[Do you want to leave here?]

The child's expression blanked out, and it drifted closer. It had given up pretending to be human.

The floating thing pressed its face uncomfortably near.

[Want to play hide-and-seek?]

Suddenly?

[Listen. If you find us, I'll let you go outside.]

"Really?"

Her eyes widened at the promise of escape.

[Yeah! We don't lie.]

It didn't matter whether this was a ghost or something else. This could be her way out. The lead she'd been searching for with Noel.

Finally. I can get out of this cursed place.

[Then I'm hiding! One... two...]

The child's voice faded into the fog and vanished. After counting to ten and hearing nothing more, Diana grabbed Rodrick's sleeve.

"Let's go."

She'd shifted to his sleeve, knowing he disliked being touched. His presence alone was enough.

"What are you planning?"

"Hide-and-seek. Obviously."

"Why?"

"Because we need to get outside."

They moved through the fog-laden corridor with their cryptic exchange. He wasn't kind, but he made for decent conversation. At least walking alone through this empty hallway was bearable now.

Despite the poor visibility, Rodrick moved forward as if he could see perfectly. Long, confident strides.

The traps remained—magical circles still triggered. But no teleportation chambers opened up, no monsters emerged.

Weapons rained down—arrows, maces—but Rodrick batted them away with contempt.

Diana found herself forced to admit the truth as they pushed through the fog: He's the perfect shield. And the perfect cure.

This man has so many uses, honestly.

Now she just needed to prove her own value to him.

She picked up her pace, following close behind, her pink eyes sharp and calculating.

Strength had returned to her thanks to Rodrick. Her vision, cramped and narrow before, had expanded enough to sense the child's magic drifting through the fog.

Ghosts were frightening because they weren't real. But if this thing had actual magical power, there was nothing to fear.

Find the child fast. Get the hell out of this castle. Go home. Diana's determination crystallized. And figure out how to seduce this man while I'm at it.

The typical cliché would be a contract marriage, wouldn't it? That was the proper way to get unlimited physical contact...

Okay, reverse perspective. What if some strange man grabbed you without warning, clinging and begging? Diana paused. Yeah. Creepy.

She really had messed that up.

Diana glanced sideways at Rodrick. His sculpted face was utterly unreadable.

'Still, if we keep talking, surely he'd eventually agree to something...'

How was she supposed to crack through the icy wall this man radiated? Rodrick kept his eyes forward, never glancing her way. The conversation never built momentum.

Neither of them had time anyway.

The life of an extra character with a terminal diagnosis was like a candle in the wind. How could she afford to deliberate when such a perfect cure had appeared?

'Maybe I should just... throw myself at him?'

"Watch out."

Walking blindly through the fog, her foot suddenly dropped.

Diana found herself lifted by Rodrick's arm, staring down at empty space below. She'd almost tumbled down the stairs.

"Th-thank you."

Rodrick looked down at her without expression, then carried her down the staircase one-handed, letting her dangle from his side like a bag of groceries.

"No! Wait! Commander, put me down!"

Rodrick ignored her protests and continued descending, layer by layer.

"Lady, once you've come to my attention, I'm escorting you out of the Black Forest. That much I'll do."

Diana's struggles stopped. She looked up at him in surprise. Unexpected.

The cold blue eyes were merciless, but he continued matter-of-factly: "So stay put. If you get hurt and the Beatus family demands compensation, it'll be a headache."

"Um. Commander? Your Grace?"

His frown deepened at her inconsistent titles.

"You can call me Rodrick."

"Then you can call me Diana, please."

"That's my choice. Lady."

Tsk. Diana pouted, gripping his waist dutifully as she stared into the pale fog.

"Listen. Rodrick. Since we've met like this, wouldn't it be nice if you came all the way to the capital with me?"

"I have work to do in the Black Forest. I'm not leaving until my mission is complete. My subordinate will escort you to the capital instead. If you want a proper guard, I'll arrange it."

What good would that do? She'd probably be dead before reaching home. How can I stay with this man?

"What's this mission, then?"

"Family secrets. I can't discuss it."

"Ah. I see."

They'd reached the entrance hall by then. Rodrick set her down and his gaze shifted to the hand axe hanging at her waist.

"You need this?"

"Let me borrow it."

'When did we even get to the entrance?'

Diana looked up at the massive doors before them. Those won't break even if we swing at them.

Bang!

Just as she'd predicted, the barrier rejected the hand axe, sending it flying. Rodrick studied the barrier for a moment, then swept his gaze across the invisible entrance hall.

"Rodrick, where are you going?"

He left without answering, returning moments later with a massive axe—his axe—that dwarfed him.

'Where in the gods' names does he keep that thing?'

He lifted the enormous weapon effortlessly.

"Step back. Lady."

"What?"

"Get out of the way on your own, or—"

A sharp warning and Rodrick brought the massive axe down with full force against the entrance doors.

Bang!

"No, it won't work because of the barrier!"

Bang!

"I already tried! I tried a long time ago!"

Bang!

"Rodrick!"

'Can't we just look for the kid instead? What is this?'

She was trying to warn him away when the sound changed—from rhythmic impact to something else entirely.

Whoosh—

Wind roared where he'd swung the axe. Fog scattered like mist.

Craaaash!

The wall she'd thought was a door crumbled, stone tumbling inward, and suddenly—

Outside. Actual outside.

"Wh—?"

"Commander?"

The most shocked people were probably the knights sitting around a campfire, mid-roast, staring at the sudden collapse of the castle wall.