TLNTAAM Chapter 11

Just Slept Holding the Rabbit a Bit

The king was working through documents when he smiled, just slightly. Sabina watched him and gave a small bow of her head. He set down the papers and rolled his shoulders back.

"Say what you want to say, Sabina."

"May I really?"

The king reached lazily for his teacup. Sabina stepped up to him and spoke quietly.

"It's difficult to read your intentions."

"You mean mine?"

"The maids' tongues will be hard to still. What on earth were you thinking, Your Majesty?"

The king smiled again. Come to think of it, the rabbit had said something similar last night.

"All this fuss over sleeping with the rabbit a bit."

"The Saint is what she is. But Nina Cage is a maid."

"As long as I'm in a good mood, it doesn't matter."

"And if Nina Cage becomes something she shouldn't be because of this—what then?"

This was interesting. The king looked up from his documents.

"What do you mean, Sabina?"

Sabina said nothing. The king rested his cheek against one arm and laughed, faintly amused.

What would she become?

Something special? Something inconvenient?

He considered the inconvenient option first.

"If Nina Cage runs wild because of her connection to me, that can be handled accordingly."

The maid's brow furrowed.

"But that rabbit—I don't think she's the type."

"She has a sharp mind."

"She knows her place well. I gave her every opportunity to misread the situation, and she didn't."

Sabina understood exactly what he meant. He was saying that Nina Cage had not done what he'd been waiting for her to do.

The king had been testing the child.

"No matter what happens, the Saint comes first. A being whose touch makes the pain disappear is precious. Nina Cage is pleasant to touch, but that's all."

"So she's dispensable. Take her or leave her."

"If I had to save one of them, it would obviously be the Saint. Though I don't expect that situation to arise."

Sabina started to say something, then closed her mouth. The king picked up his documents again.

"The coolness I feel is reasonably pleasant, so I'll keep her nearby. In any case, Sabina—you've really taken to that rabbit, haven't you?"

"More than me——"

The maid exhaled softly.

"Hmm?"

"I think Your Majesty has taken to her more."

The king looked up from his papers.

"What?"

"With the Saint, I could understand. But Nina Cage is far too unexpected."

The king she knew should have stopped at mere touch. But he had watched the child's reactions. He'd been pleased when she panicked. He'd found it entertaining when she was flustered.

"Does she interest you, Your Majesty?"

Sabina's blunt question left the king briefly speechless.

"Do you find her cute because she's small and pretty?"

Nina Cage was pretty, yes. But someone prettier could be found without much effort.

"She's just a rabbit."

"If you need someone tested, you can have me do it."

The king frowned and looked at the maid. Sabina smiled at the object of her loyalty with an expression of pure devotion.

"Hearing you say that——"

The king leaned back in his chair and returned to his documents.

"Makes me want to dote on her even more."

Sabina, startled, heard herself speak before she'd decided to.

"I beg your pardon?"

"It's true that touching her is refreshing and that she interests me. It's also true that Nina Cage is small and adorable."

The king was satisfied with the maid's reaction. He looked up from his papers at his leisure and smiled.

"Dio will figure out why she feels so cool. I don't know what the temple is scheming, but Nina Cage has come into my hands. Now that it's come to this, what's the problem with keeping her close?"

"But that child——!"

"I didn't know sleeping with a rabbit a bit would cause such a fuss."

He said it as though it were nothing. But Sabina, who had watched him her whole life, knew. The king had lost his objectivity. It was entirely unlike him. And he hadn't even noticed.

The maid stood quietly for a moment before finally speaking.

"Do you intend to keep her by your side indefinitely?"

"No reason not to."

"Understood. I will make the arrangements."

Sabina bowed and withdrew. The king returned to his affairs of state, but she couldn't settle herself.

'It's nothing significant, but……'

What Nina Cage did was, at most, taste the Saint's food. Even if she tried to wield the king's attention to her own advantage, nothing would change.

'Your Majesty. Do you know?'

If the child behaved that way, it would actually be easier. It could be handled. But if Nina simply stayed as she was, wanting nothing—what would you do then?

'You would keep touching that child.'

The more they met, the deeper the connection would grow. And from there, anything might happen. That was what worried Sabina.

'That, you won't be able to handle.'

Sabina thought of Nina Cage and fell into reflection. The short platinum hair. The pretty face. The child was bright and clever.

She herself liked the girl. Someone who carried herself that well would learn the work quickly, she'd thought. But that was Nina Cage the maid. Not Nina Cage receiving the king's attention.

"What are you going to do," she murmured.

She had a feeling this one would become something different from the Saint. Whether that difference would be good or bad, Sabina couldn't tell.

"I'm sorry for coming late."

I bowed my head and apologized. I'd woken up late, and Nina's tasting duties had backed up accordingly. Mary shook her head at my greeting.

"I've heard what happened."

Mary brought out the Saint's breakfast first. On the gold tray sat a small measure of medicine, some vegetables and fruit, and white stew.

'Still eating bird portions, I see.'

There wasn't much to taste, so it was over quickly.

Mary gestured for Charlotte to take it away. I wiped my mouth on my apron. I kept stealing glances sideways, but Mary—as befitting a maid with years of experience behind her—said nothing.

"Um……"

I'd braced myself for questions about last night. But she stayed quiet.

Silence settled. I waited calmly for her to speak.

Mary looked at me and smiled faintly. A smile that didn't quite reach her cheeks, the way her real ones had before.

"You'll need to be more careful about how you conduct yourself going forward."

There was a spine in those words. No wonder she'd been doing this job so long. I tilted my head down slightly and sighed.

"Nothing actually happened. He only touched me because I felt cool to him."

He pressed his bare cheek against my skin, and I may have said some strange things under the influence of a moonlit face that had no business looking the way it did. But it was absolutely nothing like that. Please believe me.

"If you were in that kind of relationship with the king, you wouldn't be walking properly right now."

That one had a spine too.

'Truly terrifying.'

Nina at fourteen would have had to pretend not to understand, so I scratched my cheek and smiled awkwardly.

"Was Her Grace present?"

"Yes! Of course."

How was I supposed to explain that three people had simply slept soundly together in the same bed. I wracked my brain and came up empty.

'Would a fourteen-year-old here know about that kind of thing or not.'

I thought of Nina's hometown. The priests and nuns there had legally sold off orphaned children, but when it came to matters of that nature, they'd been remarkably strict.

'I'll go with: a blank white canvas who knows nothing whatsoever.'

From today onward, I knew nothing. Absolutely no knowing-looking.

'But I should be honest about everything else.'

Honestly, nothing had happened. There had been physical contact, yes. But it was absolutely not that kind.

"Right. I see. Well, His Majesty isn't the type to do something like that easily. Not after everything he's endured."

What did that mean.

"There will be a great deal of idle talk. But it will die down with time."

Time dissolves most things. I bit my lip. It felt deeply unfair. The king was the one who had touched Nina. The king was the one who hadn't sent Nina back to her quarters.

'I know there's going to be gossip about a fourteen-year-old, but this isn't my fault.'

Wasn't this all the beloved and esteemed His Majesty's doing?

"Mary."

I took a steadying breath and spoke.

"I want to live in Iberia. I don't want to go back to the temple. If I go back to the orphanage, I'll be sold off as an adopted daughter to some man whose name I won't even know."

The older maid's expression shifted, just slightly. I didn't know if that was good or bad, but I'd thrown everything out honestly.

"I consider it good fortune to have been given work here as a maid. So the only thing I want is to do well here. But right now I feel like I'm being swept up in something I can't manage."

If something like this had happened to the original Nina in the novel—what would have become of her?

I gripped the front of my apron tight with both hands.

"All I want is to do well here. What can I do to accomplish that? Mary, please help me."

If there was anyone monitoring Nina, this woman was the most likely candidate. So I was even more honest than I'd meant to be.

'Mixing truth with calculated confession—that's the basic art of staying alive.'

She would probably report upward. And she would relay exactly what I'd just said.

'Who's the final recipient, I wonder. Sabina? Or……'

The king?

'This is all your fault, you know.'

If this situation turned into a disaster, I would haunt you from the spirit world. Obviously you'd barely feel it. But even a worm wriggles when you step on it.

"I cannot help you."

The older maid said it without hesitation. Of course she couldn't. I knew that. Still. A gentler delivery wouldn't have killed her.

I dropped my head. I was beginning to wonder whether I should just force myself to cry, when——

Something soft touched the top of my head.

"I mean there's nothing I'm able to do for you. Nina."

The hand that stroked my hair was unexpectedly gentle. Was this a kind of comfort? I couldn't make sense of it, and I looked up.

She was watching me with a complicated expression.

"Watching you makes me think a great deal."

But that expression didn't look forced. Maybe what she was saying right now was her honest feeling.

"A child's honesty can become a weapon too. Nina Cage. You are clever and careful. But things like this run their course regardless of your will."

Experience doesn't lie, after all. She knows this is the king's doing.

"Eat properly, and don't lose yourself. That's all I can offer you."

Mary patted my head a few more times and left through the door. I stood alone in the narrow waiting room and listened to the sound of it closing behind her.

Thunk——.

Silence fell in the wake of that dull sound. I pressed my hand over my face.

'She actually gave me real advice.'

A dry laugh and a sigh came out at the same time. I sank to the floor and tilted my head back. Against the green wallpaper I could see a dark stain.

"What a difficult person."

What did she even mean. Was she telling me not to overstep and know my place? But reading everything together, it didn't seem like a cold thing to say……

'A monitor who's still somehow kind about it……'

Telling me to eat well and hold on, just dressed up in all those words.

I kept laughing. I sat there on the floor and stared at the ceiling. The walls with their finely worked patterns had grown familiar over the past few days.

A castle full of strange people, and here I was, breathing in the middle of it.

"I'll take it as: keep your chin up."

Charlotte wouldn't leave me alone the way she did. But this one—even if she said hard things directly, she wasn't the type to cause trouble from behind. I got to my feet and dusted off my apron. And she was right, actually. There was work to be done.

"I should go to the doctor."

But first I needed to wash up and change clothes. Oh—and now that I thought about it, I hadn't eaten either.

"Food first."

Even in chaos, you had to eat to survive. Right. Maybe things would look a little different after that. I looked at the empty room, gave one small shake of my head, and walked out.

Something like laughter came without meaning to.

That I'd found new energy—that was a secret.