TLNTAAM Chapter 8

The Source Material Is Persistent

"Pardon?"

"I don't know the reason, but during the predawn hours when he coughs and at his sleeping hour, stay in the mistress's room. His Majesty comes to where the mistress is at those times."

I had no idea what expression to put on my face. Why, exactly, was I supposed to be waiting in Seraphie's room with her for the king to arrive?

"I heard he came looking today as well. You don't need to worry about anything else—just make sure you're there until His Majesty dismisses you. After that, wait here."

My head was a tangle. I breathed in slowly and tried to sort through it piece by piece.

'So—wake up early in the predawn, go to the inner castle, stay with Seraphie until the king gets up for the day. In the evenings, wait in Seraphie's room until the king goes to sleep?'

What an utterly baffling arrangement. Why was a poison-taster supposed to be watching the king at night? That was Seraphie's domain.

I looked at the maid with what I hoped was an expression of innocent inquiry, but she had the sort of serenity that comes with long experience. She was completely unmoved.

"Nina, there are many things in this castle that you'll know and yet have to pretend not to know."

Well, yes. Obviously.

"The mistress's very existence is one of those things. Don't speak carelessly, ever. There are many ears that listen and many mouths that whisper in a castle."

Yes, I do understand that much—

"The king's orders take precedence above all."

And then I understood what she was actually saying.

'Shut up and do it.'

You could have said that without the poetry. I folded my hands calmly and took a small breath.

"While I'm waiting here, am I free to do as I like?"

That she approved of this—that I'd understood without needing it spelled out—seemed to please her. The older maid smiled softly and patted my head.

"You can do whatever you like."

So I'd gained a break room. That was not nothing. I looked around the small space with its table and began thinking about what I might do here.

"But Nina—I have a feeling the mistress will be calling for you quite often."

I smiled in a slightly strained way. Come to think of it, Seraphie did seem to feel a strange affinity with Nina.

'Is it because of the hair?'

Or because they worshipped the same god?

'Except I don't worship anyone.'

Neither Nina nor Lee Hwayun had a particle of faith in them. I'd manage to hide it well enough, but if Seraphie ever found out, I had a feeling it would genuinely hurt her.

'And I really don't like the Church.'

I wanted nothing to do with wherever the Pope held authority. Now that I was in Iberia, I wanted to plant roots here and stay.

'I have to survive first, though.'

Seraphie and the king ending up together was only a matter of time. Before that happened, I needed to find a way to sustain myself.

"Um—excuse me. I'd like to learn things."

I looked up at the older maid with the sincerest expression I could manage. She narrowed her eyes slightly and patted my shoulder: go on.

'It feels like a job interview.'

I was being observed with the kind of sharp attention that could peel skin. This was a bit much. Did a little kid really need to be held to such an exacting standard?

'Choose your words carefully.'

Anything too clever and she'd find it suspicious. I frantically sorted through what Nina might plausibly say.

"I'd like to understand Iberia better. I feel like I'm the only one who came from the countryside knowing nothing. I'm worried I might accidentally offend someone important."

The older maid's eyes softened at the corners. But that made it worse.

'The corners of her mouth aren't moving!'

A smile that didn't reach the cheeks. I tensed involuntarily.

"Can you read?"

"Yes. The orphanage taught me."

"Impressive."

Literacy rates in this world were low. Most common people couldn't read. The Church taught orphans to read in the name of divine will—though it was something more like a performance of generosity.

'We did a lot of copying.'

The orphanage had children copy out scripture. In Nina's memories too, most of the girls had spent their days sewing and transcribing to earn money.

'Do they have movable type here?'

Ah, the shining ingenuity of my ancestors. I missed the Republic of Korea fiercely today. The homeland where practically all knowledge was accessible if you had a computer.

"Go to the library."

"Pardon?"

I was genuinely startled.

"When you leave the castle, you'll see it right away. A white building—it's the library. Anyone who lives in the capital may use it."

Iberia suddenly seemed like a genuinely excellent country. A public library. In this world.

"I had no idea! I didn't know such a place existed!"

"What books have you read so far?"

I scratched my cheek lightly.

"The orphanage only had doctrine books and scriptures."

Nina knew nothing beyond passages about what God had done and decreed. That was all the orphanage had taught her.

'They could have used that time to teach something else—'

Children too young for heavy labor had done copying and sewing; older ones were put to whatever rough work was available. I thought of the hard labor Nina had been put through. A child with her hands plunged into cold water, again and again.

"To be able to read other books—my heart is racing!"

That was exactly what Nina would have said. The maid patted Nina's head a few more times.

"Borrow whatever you'd like."

I nodded as though I understood, but my real thoughts ran elsewhere.

If I borrow whatever I like, something's probably going to go wrong.

'They seem to be watching me, after all—'

What was a safe choice to borrow? Living under suspicion was harder than I'd expected.

'I just want to live comfortably.'

I stifled the sigh trying to work its way out. My neck had gone stiff from stress. Please, a little ease. I understood the situation perfectly well, and yet it kept grinding at me.

Then Charlotte spoke up. "Hey, you. The mistress is calling."

The older maid patted my back gently.

"The mistress is asking for you. Just taste what's on this tray and go."

"Yes."

She handed me a small spoon. I looked at the tray and smiled in an awkward sort of way. Seraphie's meal consisted of white bread, a small cup of pudding, a handful of beans, and fruit—fruit being the most generous portion.

"She's a saint, so meat and fried foods are not permitted, apparently."

Meat, fine. But why not fried?

"So grilled or steamed would be acceptable?"

What exactly was the distinction there?

I tilted my head, and the older maid covered her mouth and laughed. This time her cheeks moved too. A real smile.

"That's what I've always wondered myself. Go ahead and taste a little of everything."

There wasn't much to taste. I worked through the food in the order it was arranged on the tray, and it was over almost instantly.

As I swallowed the last of it—a drink of water from a glass pitcher—I found myself developing a small, reluctant respect for Seraphie.

'How does a person live on this.'

A saint was not something just anyone could be. She was healing the sick every day on this amount of food. The female lead was genuinely something else.

'I should treat her well.'

Saint Seraphie—turns out her diet is idol-group level. A headline that would have fit perfectly in an internet tabloid. A rather painful truth.

The deepest part of the inner castle, where Saint Seraphie resided, was guarded at two and three removes by soldiers. As I exchanged small nods with them, I found myself genuinely puzzled.

'How on earth did Nina get Seraphie out of here?'

I stared at the curtains billowing in the breeze. Like in a comic—had she actually used those as a rope?

'That seems impossible.'

It would require Seraphie's arms to be at rock-climbing strength, never mind the durability of the curtain fabric.

'And besides, this is quite high up.'

I'd been marveling for some time now at how they'd managed to build the castle this tall. Some special construction technique, perhaps.

"You're here, Nina!"

Whether she had any idea what was going through my mind or not, Seraphie greeted me with a bright smile. I bowed, thoroughly flustered. She was waiting for me.

"Is your nosebleed all better?"

I scratched my cheek lightly. Seraphie really was a kind person.

"Yes. I was just tired."

"I'm glad."

She took my hand. The sudden contact made me look up at her. In return, the saint smiled at me with the radiance of something not quite human.

Then warmth flowed into my hand. Like soft cotton candy, brushing gently along my palm.

'What is this?'

White light moved along the back of my hand. The faint glow reached my heart and scattered.

"Oh my—"

There was no time to stop her. Seraphie's eyes went wide, and she pressed her hand to my chest.

My heart was beating hard. The sound of it filled my ears. I had never felt another person's warmth as vividly as this.

Light kept coming from Seraphie's palm. The white light spun and spun, flowing completely into the space behind my ribs.

"Nina, your heart isn't well?"

I startled so hard my body trembled.

'Was that in the novel?'

'No.'

That passage didn't exist anywhere in the text. Nina had not been important enough for a passage like that. She was just a maid.

Whether she knew any of this or not, Seraphie whispered in her lovely voice, "It would have been fine as a child, but it would have become serious when you grew up. The rhythm is a little irregular."

"I didn't know."

"Has your chest never hurt?"

I searched Nina's memories. There was no recollection of clutching at her chest.

"Fortunately not. And now..."

The light grew brighter. For one instant, pure white blazed so brilliantly I couldn't see—and then slowly faded.

"You'll be fine."

Seraphie smiled as though nothing had happened. I pressed my hand to my chest and swayed.

'What—'

Nina had a heart condition too? Like Lee Hwayun? Was this a coincidence?

My thoughts were in disarray. I looked up at Seraphie, drained. When our eyes met, she smiled—beautiful, like a goddess.

'She just fixed it. Just like that.'

How could this be. How could it be this easy. Was this what divine power was.

"You're—"

I started to speak and stopped. I'd nearly said what I was actually thinking.

'This is why she's the protagonist.'

That's why this was the story's protagonist.

I reached out with trembling hands and took hold of the hem of Seraphie's dress. The thin fabric gathered in Nina's small fingers.

'Does Seraphie know?'

Seraphie laid her hand over mine. When the warmth touched warmth, my body shook in a way I couldn't account for.

"Thank you."

Looking up at her warm eyes, I smiled honestly.

'What do I do with this.'

This was very inconvenient. This was genuinely too hard.

Seraphie had saved me. So easily, so casually, she had extended my life.

'I'm not used to this.'

I could do small calculations of gain and loss well enough. But neither Nina nor Lee Hwayun knew how to receive something large. I didn't know what to do.

'I don't know.'

I had thought of her as a grim reaper in a goddess's body. I'd assumed we could stay at a comfortable, manageable distance. So I still couldn't understand it. Every person's life is precious to them—why had young Nina made such a foolish choice?

'So this is how I find out why Nina risked her life to help her get out—'

This was why. This was why little Nina had helped Seraphie leave this place.

'I'm in trouble.'

Seraphie smiled gently and drew little Nina into her arms. She smelled sweet, like her own divine power. And now that I thought of it—no one had ever held Nina before.

'I'm going to cry—'

I should have been thinking. But my body was faster than my thoughts. I bit down hard on my lip, trying to hold back, but one drop escaped and kept falling to the floor.

'It's all so complicated—'

Was it from thinking too hard? My head felt feverish. More than feverish. It was like a small fire had been lit inside my skull.

'It's getting hotter.'

It felt like Seraphie's gentle light had started something burning in my chest. The tears falling from sadness weren't cooling any of it.

I murmured from within her arms.

"Seraphie..."

The heat kept rising. My consciousness flickered strangely. The warmth had reached all the way to the ends of my toes. I had no way to resist it.

"...It's so hot..."

My body is on fire—that was the last coherent thought I had. My consciousness waited one moment, then went dark. I thought I heard Seraphie's voice near my ear, but I couldn't hold onto anything at all.