TOM Chapter 36

At Kruelo's question, Amy answered bewilderedly.

"A wish? Oh, I did."

"Then can you stay by my side for life?"

"Are you proposing already?"

Normally he would have blushed at that teasing, but Kruelo was serious.

Even losing a small cat hurts.

He could barely remember what happened when his parents died, buried by time, but his chest felt hollow as if there was a hole in it.

What if Amy became like that?

Just thinking about it made everything before his eyes turn white.

Of course, most of the child's tragedies were accidental, so Amy's promise might mean nothing.

But Kruelo needed even a small certainty.

That was the child's wish.

But.

"Um...... You know, Roy."

Amy's face slowly clouded over.

Seeing that expression, Kruelo suddenly realized.

That his anxiety wasn't just because of frequent accidents.

That Amy always made that expression when talking about the future.

Once he realized it, he'd rather not hear that answer, but Amy's mouth eventually opened.

His heart was beating like it would burst, just then.

"My goodness, you're still in the training ground?"

A passing butler noticed the children and approached in surprise.

The strange atmosphere shattered in an instant.

Amy nonchalantly grabbed Kruelo's hand.

"Let's go in."

Unlike when she hugged him, that hand was very cold.

As if Amy's answer was in that small palm.

"Maybe then, you already knew."

Cigarette smoke rises hazily.

In the middle of the stopped carriage, Kruelo stared blankly into space.

Amy Royalsand.

His first fiancée might have known this would happen.

Strangely, Amy, who hadn't been sickly at first, became weaker as time passed.

She wasn't ill, but she did.

Even calling a priest didn't solve it, but Amy was calm.

Like someone who knew it would happen.

Kruelo was constantly anxious not knowing when the child would die, but her end was worse than he thought.

Amy died by drinking poison in place of Kruelo.

Monster poison that had settled at the bottom of the tea.

Because of the malice that was originally dissolved in Kruelo's tea.

"Roy, your tea looks more delicious, I want to drink that one."

It wasn't a fatal dose, but combined with Amy's physical condition at the time, a new tragedy was born.

He doesn't remember that day well.

He was too shocked and cried too much, so most of his memory flew away.

When he felt a bit better and looked back on that day, Kruelo would wonder once in a while.

Whether Amy drinking his tea instead that day was just a simple whim. Or if she knew something and did it.

Of course, his answer was always the former.

If it had been the latter, she would have appeared in his dreams at least once.

"Do you resent me, Amy?"

Kruelo threw the question that wouldn't return into the air.

Then he laughed alone like a crazy person.

Because of that trauma, Kruelo developed the habit of stocking antidotes for monster poison by type.

He collected enough to burst a warehouse.

Since he had no occasion to use them and no intention of using them.

The first time they found use was here at this Bonetti Count's mansion.

"......"

Kruelo looked outside the carriage.

Rain poured down like a waterfall.

Like the day the cat died, like the day Amy died.

I don't want to equate Count Bonetti's death with Amy's.

He chuckled and gestured while discarding his cigarette.

Soon the inside of the carriage became clean without even a trace of having smoked.

Kruelo opened the carriage door and came out.

His attendant hurriedly held up an umbrella, and many of Bonetti's servants looked at him, frozen like stones.

It must have been troublesome too, coming to the count's mansion but staying holed up in the carriage without any words or actions.

Had that news reached upstairs? Siora Bonetti was approaching the carriage with an umbrella.

Taking the umbrella from his attendant, Kruelo strode toward her.

He held his umbrella over hers.

Then, toward that face with thick fatigue, he said.

"Should I teach you swordsmanship?"

"What's this again...... What?"

"Moving your body without thinking makes you feel good."

He expected her to scold him with that dumbfounded face as usual.

As expected, Siora laughed as if incredulous, blinked several times, and then.

"Should we?"

She smiled, stretching the corners of her mouth upward.

Having rushed out hastily, raindrops fell from her rain-soaked hair.

At that moment, a subtle feeling seeped into Kruelo's chest.

Seeing Amy's shadow in that face must be because his old wounds hadn't healed.

Kruelo found himself smiling along with her.

"Ugh!"

Splash, I fell face-first on the ground and dry-heaved.

It was just for show, so I didn't make a disgusting scene.

Even if I had, it would have been quickly washed away by the rain.

It's pouring rain, and what am I doing?

My head was complicated so I followed him out, but I'm feeling self-loathing in a different sense.

"Darling, your stamina is terrible."

I heard a pitying voice right in front of me.

Naturally, it was Kruelo.

"It's not that. I'm not feeling well. I've been a mess since the funeral."

"Because of that grand spell? You didn't collapse right away like before."

"That was a lower-level spell."

What I used at the harvest festival was a 10th-level spell, what I used on Qudil was a 9th-level spell.

Looking at the numbers, it's only one level difference, but the gap is enormous.

It's like the difference between sprinting at full power for 3 minutes versus sprinting at full power for three hours.

Of course, that's when using this body.

"Are there spells higher than what you used at the harvest festival?"

"I've heard there are, but I don't know them."

Phebula's unique spells were four in total, but the two highest-level spells were lost, so only the names are known.

11th-level spell is Molting, 12th-level spell is Devotion.

The words are too abstract to even guess.

I think I might know about Molting... Doesn't it feel like the body gets reconstructed? Like in those hero novels.

"I don't understand why the ancient religious order collapsed."

"Times changed. Even though extreme faith decreased, the number of priests increased."

Unlike ancient times when various values coexisted, now everything is bound by one universal sense of justice.

Extreme devotees decreased, and most priests live moderately righteously.

Because of that, the caliber of top leaders diminished, but the priesthood actually grew.

"Then are you saying your faith is that extreme?"

"Why? Don't I seem particularly devout, so it's strange?"

"I wasn't trying to pick a fight or anything."

"I didn't hear it that way either."

I was just accidentally born in Phebula's temple and happened to become the last believer.

My faith... if my deceased parents had been watching, they would have fainted.

I shrugged and tried to get up sluggishly but failed and sat back down.

"Rest a bit more, your arms are trembling."

"No, my arms are fine. Are Kruelo's eyes okay?"

"Honestly, it's a bit unexpected. Darling seemed like you'd be good with a sword."

There's nothing I can't say to my heavenly teacher!

I was furious and glared at Kruelo.

What can I do about Siora's body being far less talented than Amy's?

With a body that moves like this when I try to move like that, what am I supposed to do!

I didn't even know such a body existed in the world.

"But you had good reflexes before. Who knew you'd be such a dullard."

"Was that grand strategy of offering to teach me swordsmanship actually to mock me?"

"Mm... sorry. I just, I see some overlap. Maybe my condition relapsed."

Kruelo muttered incomprehensible words and bent his waist.

Folding his long legs to match eye level, he asked lightly.

"So how do you feel? Better?"

Better?

When I asked back with my eyes, Kruelo shrugged.

"I'm not trying to pick a fight. Someone did that for me when I was having a hard time."

"What?"

"Come to think of it, I forgot one thing."

Kruelo pressed my chin with his thumb.

Then something entered my opened mouth.

Sweet and round.

Feeling like my stamina was recovering, I silently chewed the candy.

Rainy day, moving the body for a change of mood.

Even before putting candy in my mouth, I knew what Kruelo was thinking of.

But it's different from decades ago.

I wasn't particularly having a hard time.

"Do I look like I'm having a hard time?"

"You've looked terrible ever since discovering the count's corpse."

"That can't be."

What's the big deal about Count Bonetti dying?

I now knew he wasn't the only one he had tormented.

"Really?"

The sweet voice dropped low.

Kruelo placed his elbow on his thigh and rested his chin.

His narrowed eyes seemed not to believe my words at all.

Mmm.

"It is disgusting. Very! A little! ......He died because of me."

"Even though the count died in Darling's waiting room?"

"It might not have been the count who entered the waiting room. For instance... Gavotte."

"You seem quite fond of that friend."

Kruelo smiled, stretching his lips.

"I'm jealous."

Still fluent in dog language.

"He's a good kid, I don't want to get him involved."

"So you wanted to leave Bonetti but that didn't work out well?"

"How did you know that didn't work out either?"

"Because Darling is still here."

At the irrefutable logic, I sighed.

Yeah, well.

Count's death wasn't sad, but it wasn't like I was completely unaffected either.

Gavotte wailed at the count's funeral as if all the moisture in his body would drain out.

Minuet didn't openly show her grief, but she was clearly shaken.

I didn't care what happened to anyone else, but those two were the problem.

Watching the siblings mourn the count in their own ways, I realized anew.

That I had grown more fond of those two than I expected.

In my previous life, I didn't carelessly give affection.

No, I should say I couldn't even afford to.

Amy's family was only Lord Royalsand, and Biga was an orphan with no one close to her.

If I had to say, I only had Kruelo, but there was no possibility of the Elder Council killing him.

So I only realized now, but having close people wasn't just purely enjoyable.

"I guess it would be better to keep a distance."

Even without considering the danger, that would be right.

I'm someone who will someday leave this place and return to the temple.

However, Kruelo didn't seem satisfied and asked again.

"Is that all?"