TOM Chapter 39

Kruelo smiled softly.

His voice dropped a little lower.

Actually...

"There was someone who wasn't afraid even though she was weak."

"Who?"

"My first fiancée and... one maid."

"Ah... ha."

I shouldn't have brought this up.

At least I was grateful that my expression wasn't visible to Kruelo.

"Well, when I was young I was gentle so that was fine, so really it was just the maid. My personality changed a lot after my fiancée died."

"Mm, I see."

"You seem really uninterested."

"Well, it's not that exactly..."

"She was blonde too."

Kruelo gently caressed my hair.

His voice was slightly subdued but calm, and I couldn't guess what he was thinking.

I didn't know how to react.

I wanted to run away, but that was impossible since we were riding the same horse.

If it were someone else's business, I'd at least try to empathize, but since it concerns me, well.

My heart was pounding.

He must have heard it, but Kruelo didn't bother to point it out. Instead.

"I asked you before, didn't I? Whether I killed my fiancée."

It was a conversation we had when leaving the guild.

"Your Grace's former fiancées who died... including those who fell ill."

"Did it happen because of Your Grace?"

"Did Your Grace kill them with your own hands?"

"I said no, but about half of that is correct. My first fiancée died in my place."

I couldn't give any response and just stared straight ahead.

The sound of hoofbeats filled the silence between words.

"There was poison in my tea. She suggested we switch tea for some trivial reason, and then..."

"..."

"If I had drunk it, I wouldn't have died. She was in very poor health."

It was a meaningless death.

"Sometimes I think about it. What was she thinking as she was dying? Did she resent me?"

"Ah..."

"What about you, darling? How much do you think she would have hated me?"

He asked.

It wasn't a question laden with great meaning.

I...

I swallowed the lump of emotion that surged up. And I said,

"She wouldn't have hated you."

It's regrettable that even though it's the truth, I can only answer in hypothetical form.

"I serve God, you know. My intuition is well-developed. So I can say this with certainty."

I clearly felt Kruelo's gaze from above.

Though my stomach churned as if I were telling lies, I spoke only the truth for once.

I muttered words I couldn't convey into my mouth.

'I didn't hate you. You weren't hateful.'

I had known from the beginning that there was poison in the tea.

Even then, I couldn't be certain it was poison, but the bad energy I felt from the tea was clear.

I tried to spill the cup entirely, but realized it would be meaningless.

There was no guarantee that poisoned tea wouldn't appear when I, Amy, wasn't visiting.

I'd rather teach Kruelo how to be cautious.

Amy's lifespan wasn't long anyway.

It was the first time I was using someone else's body, and a young one at that.

The holy power I used thoughtlessly widened the gap between body and soul, shortening the time I could exist as Amy.

So I thought, since I was going to die anyway, let me use that death meaningfully.

'No.'

Half of it is excuses and lies.

When I lived as Amy, I received a revelation from God.

[Be silent.]

I couldn't say anything and had to focus only on Kruelo's redemption.

I was exhausted.

Pouring out only lies before a young child's pure and innocent affection was quite difficult.

Maybe because I was a better person than I thought.

It had been quite a while since I forgot how to get along with people, so clumsy affection hurt more.

So self-rationalization disguised as hope quietly raised its head:

'The brainwashing is almost undone. This child is so different from the villain in the book, so wouldn't it be okay now?'

At the time, I thought possession happened only once, so I believed it would end when Amy died.

No more suffering from guilt, so let's just end it here.

In some sense, it was suicide.

I learned later that it was wrong judgment, but that didn't change the fact that it couldn't be undone.

"That would be nice."

Kruelo's voice scattered my thoughts.

I quietly exhaled as if expelling negative thoughts.

I shouldn't get serious.

"Amy. That was her name."

"...Yes."

"This is the first time I've brought up such a story. I lived somewhat obsessively. Every human in the world seemed like someone sent by the Council."

An ancient god's follower who knew how to protect herself and couldn't possibly be on the Council's side.

Naturally, it was a type Kruelo would never have met.

I spoke with a lighter tone to change the mood.

"That's right, trustworthy people like me aren't common. Where else would you find someone like this in appearance, character, and ability?"

"Right."

Kruelo's easy agreement made my words strangely distorted.

Did I sound like I was bragging...?

No, I'm not bragging, I'm just excellent, so it's fine.

"Then I'll give you a chance to treat me even better."

"It's an honor, but in what way?"

"I've lost feeling in my lower body. Please cast magic to eliminate the shock."

"Is there such magic?"

"There isn't? Really? Can't magic do everything?"

"You're too dependent on magic."

"No way... Say there is!"

"There is."

"Really?"

"Really."

I heard the sound of Kruelo snapping his fingers.

At the same time, the shock transmitted from my lower body completely disappeared.

Wow, there really is such a thing?

Half amazement, half resentment for not using it sooner.

But fine.

"Please do it on the way back too."

My body and mind became much happier.

Though some unpleasantness accumulated in a corner of my heart, I'm used to that much.

Lightly, joyfully, cheerfully!

The corners of my mouth I pulled up felt a bit awkward.

The county territory. Whistle.

Just hearing the name conjures images of a leisurely countryside village.

The actual Whistle was quite a majestic city with low mountains behind it and a pointed cape facing the sea.

Because of this, the line at the checkpoint was long too.

We skipped over using magic.

Though there were plenty of magic detection devices installed, if this level could catch us, we would have been discovered at the Harvest Festival too.

Some people were slipping through by bribing with money, but Kruelo's appearance was too famous for that—reports would go up the chain.

Forgive me, Phebula, for whose sake all this is happening.

I pressed my hood down so my face wouldn't show.

"Darling's brother entered the castle."

"I'm not going to chase him. If it's just the founder's diary, I can sneak a peek and come out."

I had decided again while riding.

I'm really not in a position to give anyone my affection.

Gavotte must have come because he has a way to resolve things; I just need to get what I want at dawn and leave.

"If that's what you want."

Kruelo nodded without further comment.

Since the sun had already set, we decided to find an inn.

An old man wearing a triangular kerchief greeted us.

Then he said those words I'd read countless times in books:

"We only have one room available, is that alright?"

"...Really? Why?"

"Why indeed, the Count passed away. People have flocked here from everywhere to pay their respects."

No wonder there were so many people on the road.

Well, just considering the people who make their living from Bonetti affairs, they could fill a village like this.

Such was the influence of high nobility.

While I was wondering whether to try somewhere else, the old man quickly added, perhaps sensing my thoughts.

"Just take the one room, it's the same everywhere else."

"Hmm."

"We'll be out of rooms soon too. You two look like you're seeing each other, so take this chance to do this and that—"

"We'll take it! We'll take it!"

"Good grief, you'll burst my eardrums."

The old man grumbled as he handed over the key.

Naturally, Kruelo paid for the room.

I don't have money. I'm glad Kruelo came along.

We decided to have a simple meal before going up.

"Two bowls of chicken stew are ready!"

The visual difference from what we ate at the mansion was striking from the start.

Let's just eat since I'm hungry, I thought as I lifted my spoon, when I felt someone's gaze.

It was Kruelo with his chin propped up.

"What?"

"Aren't you going to pray before eating?"

"I don't. Originally this side doesn't do that kind of..."

"Little one! You should pray before eating, what would your parents say if they knew?"

Hmm.

Come to think of it, we used to do it, but I had abolished it.

"We used to, but it disappeared over time. You could say it's an old custom."

That wasn't wrong.

Kruelo didn't say anything more, and I put the spoon in my mouth.

The taste was tolerable enough to eat.

Though Kruelo didn't even touch his.

Considering I'd be entering the castle at dawn, I needed to eat with this body.

But I couldn't deny that eavesdropping on other people's conversations was more fun than eating.

All sorts of nonsense could be heard.

Stories about how trashy someone from some village was, how to charm someone of the opposite sex in 3 minutes, someone chasing debt collectors with a plow, and...

"So the young count is here then?"

"Must be, since the title needs to be transferred. It was probably him who brought the Count's coffin too."

Stories about Minuet too.

Rolling my eyes inconspicuously, I spotted two merchants nearby.

Their faces were crimson and their eyes were completely glazed from however much they'd drunk.

"So he'll become the count now? I heard he's not even married yet."

"The higher-ups are said to be troubled."

Minuet's reputation is quite negative.

"It would be perfect if he married the third elder's son. You know, Master Michael."

"He's a good person. But why really hasn't he gotten married yet? For us commoners it doesn't matter, but isn't it different for noble folks?"

"Must be because he's still young. At that age, even reasonable words make you cringe."

"Sigh, can't say anything since he's a noble... To be honest, I wish Master Michael would become the count."

"Hey! You're drunk! What are you saying!"

Perhaps sobered up, the merchant covered his companion's mouth.

It felt like no more words would come, so I lowered my gaze back to my half-remaining stew.

But I kept my ears open.

With people packed tightly, there was a lot to hear, and several stories about Minuet were mixed in.

Even if they didn't openly chatter like those two earlier, public opinion toward her was definitely somewhat negative.

Since Minuet had been mostly at the capital mansion, this atmosphere was probably created by the Bonetti Council of Elders.

Seeing them act so openly like this, could it really be a crisis situation?

"Are you worried?"

"No!"

I shouted reflexively at Kruelo's question.