TPOTLPIM Chapter 24

After dinner, Cecilia arrived at the celebration banquet and was able to meet Teros. Unlike usual, his hair was neatly combed back, clearly revealing his handsome forehead. That appearance exuded yet another kind of charm, so Cecilia could only steel her heart that was trying to weaken.

"Lord Teros. You must be busy today. You're the protagonist of the banquet."

"I'm thinking of being alone with you as much as possible."

He looked at Cecilia with a somehow complex expression.

"That won't do. There are many people looking for Lord Teros."

At her words, it seemed like his eyes wavered slightly. Cecilia lowered her gaze to pretend she hadn't seen that look.

Just then, a gentleman holding a cocktail glass in one hand came over to greet Teros.

"Marquis D'Anstone. I congratulate you on your victory. It's been a long time since we could see a competition that was truly a competition."

The moment Teros's gaze turned toward the gentleman, Cecilia swiftly left his side and escaped into the gap where the young ladies had gathered.

Throughout the entire banquet, Teros couldn't even have a proper conversation with Cecilia, making his insides boil and bubble with anger. Yesterday's kiss was definitely the cause. If not that, then what reason could there be for her attitude to become so cold in just one day?

Had he been too hasty? Thinking that the memory which had been utterly blissful for him might have been something she disliked made his heart feel wretched, as if it were being crushed flat against the ground.

No, there was an even bigger problem than that. The fact that he had made her feelings unpleasant.

'Crazy bastard.'

Teros spat curses at himself from the day before.

Even if he was afraid to ask with words, he should have directly confirmed her intentions. Even if he didn't want to say words of apology, he should have done so.

Could he make amends? If it wasn't too late even now, he had to apologize to her and make it as if nothing had happened, just as she wanted.

Throughout the banquet, his eyes persistently followed Cecilia's movements. Many people around him tried to strike up conversations, but they felt like passing background as his nerves were concentrated elsewhere. Cecilia was roaming here and there around the banquet hall like a fish trying to slip out of a net, trying to escape from his field of vision.

At this rate, there would be no time for a proper conversation. Teros let out a short sigh and decided to muster his courage once more.

Every time he moved his steps toward where Cecilia was, his heart pounded throughout his entire body. When he was this frightened by the small wall she had erected, his past self from a month ago who had recklessly brought up marriage talk seemed reckless and laughable.

'Has she been disliking it all this time?'

Worries he had never even tried thinking about before occupied his mind. At first, he had wanted to keep her by his side regardless of what Cecilia's heart was like. Mentioning the military tribunal and forcibly acting like her fiancé had been for that reason. Without doing so, he wouldn't have been able to hold onto her.

At first, she had been uncomfortable, but later she seemed to think of him comfortably and accept him. But all of this could be a misunderstanding. Gentle-hearted Cecilia might have been afraid of him all along.

Having this thought made his chest tighten with anguish. If she said she disliked me, was I prepared to accept those feelings?

Teros repeatedly clenched and unclenched his fists.

With these complicated thoughts still swirling, he stopped in front of Cecilia, who was conversing with the young ladies.

"Cecilia."

Seeing her face turn around with a slightly startled look made the courage he had finally mustered begin to fade.

"Please give me a moment of your time."

Perhaps because she was truly gentle-hearted, she didn't want to treat Teros coldly even in front of the other young ladies, so she obediently followed him out.

The two of them came out to the terrace attached to the banquet hall.

Below the terrace, the orderly landscaped southern garden could be seen. Standing here and feeling the cool night breeze reminded them of that summer day when they first met at the engagement ceremony.

"Cecilia, I was wrong. I'm sorry."

It was an unexpected statement, so Cecilia sent him a look asking what he was sorry for. Rather, she had been feeling sorry herself for avoiding him.

"About what happened last night in the rose garden."

As soon as she heard those words, her face flushed as if it might burst. Though she had tried to draw a firm line with Teros through her stiff attitude, she couldn't help but reveal her flustered feelings completely. She turned her head sharply toward the firmly closed terrace door and raised her index finger to her lips, signaling him to be quiet.

"Oh, my goodness! Be quiet! What if someone hears?"

Perhaps it was an unexpected reaction, as Teros blinked once and then gave a bitter smile.

"With just those words, even if someone heard, they wouldn't know what happened."

Watching Cecilia clear her throat unnecessarily as if embarrassed, Teros spoke pleadingly.

"I won't do it again. So please don't avoid me."

Seeing her face turn bright red and avert her gaze at those words, Teros ultimately couldn't bear it without asking about her feelings. Though he didn't have the courage to hear the answer, he had to ask now.

"...Did yesterday's incident make you uncomfortable?"

Cecilia pondered as no suitable answer to the question came to mind. To say it was good would be embarrassing, but it would also become words that permitted him. To say it was unpleasant would clearly hurt him.

As her answer was delayed due to her pondering, Teros became increasingly anxious. His throat felt rough and scratchy as if he had swallowed sand, and he felt like he was standing at the edge of a precipice where he could plummet at any moment. He who had remained calm even with war before his eyes - how had he come to be soaked in such emotions?

After much pondering, Cecilia chose the path of avoiding an answer.

"Let's not mention what happened in the past anymore. Since you did make me flustered, I'll accept your apology."

"Would it be discourteous if I continue to seek out Cecilia in the future?"

This was also a troublesome question for Cecilia. Since she had resolved to draw a line with him, it would be right to tell him not to come. But when she imagined weekends without him, emptiness came rushing in. That emptiness was the same emotion she had felt during this week when she couldn't meet Teros due to the competition preparations.

'I think I'm being too selfish.'

Cecilia blamed herself for her indecisiveness. She was pushing him away because she wasn't ready to accept his feelings, yet she didn't want him to completely retreat.

In the end, she chose the cowardly method of answering a question with a question.

"If I said it would be rude, would you not come?"

Teros's expression visibly crumbled. The ice mask from when she first met him had already shattered and disappeared. Somehow, he had become weak and defenseless in front of Cecilia.

"Well, if you dislike it, it would be right not to visit. But I would like to try a little harder."

At some point, he had stopped mentioning the military tribunal at all. His goal had changed. Just keeping her by his side wasn't enough; he wanted to win her heart. He already knew that hearts couldn't be bought with threats and coercion.

Teros was anxious about what would happen if Cecilia pushed him away further here. He was already standing with just one foot on the edge of a cliff, and Cecilia could push him into the distant abyss below with just a small gesture.

When had it become like this? When had he handed over the leash of his life to the small hands of the woman before him? Though he had felt special emotions for her after drinking the love potion, at first he had thought he held the upper hand in his relationship with Cecilia. Since he had grasped her weakness, he believed he could steer their relationship in the direction he wanted. Wasn't manipulating someone whose weakness he had grasped originally what he had done best?

But the situation had flowed in the complete opposite direction from what he had thought, and in the end, he couldn't think of any method other than pleading with her.

Though it seemed absurd even to himself, he decided to surrender to this situation. He would hand over all decision-making power to Cecilia and quietly wait for her verdict.

Anxiety struck him to the point where his chest felt tight, but as long as he wanted her heart, it was natural that the decision-making power belonged to Cecilia. The heart was something he couldn't forcibly drag along, and there was nothing he could do right now.

Cecilia had a thoughtful expression as if choosing her words. A moment of silence fell over the terrace, and only the dance music played by the orchestra in the banquet hall could be heard intermittently through the closed door.

Though Cecilia's silence lasted longer than expected, Teros didn't rush her. He was curious about the answer she would give, but at the same time, he was afraid to hear it. He strained every nerve waiting for the words that would come from her lips.