TRHK Chapter 19

He laughed softly. His face wasn't clearly visible in the dark, but it didn't feel like mockery this time. Of course, laughing instead of answering was still annoying.

"Ugh."

My body was lifted—and then my back hit what I assumed was the bed. The hands that caught my swaying legs and spread them apart did so with a disturbingly natural ease. I'd already gone limp, having mentally resigned myself to whatever was coming—and then jolted upright in alarm.

"Wh—what are you doing?"

"Continuing."

"Continuing what?"

Knowing I'd never escape if he grabbed me again, I summoned every last reserve of strength and rolled. Off the bed, and straight over the edge.

"Ow!"

My knees hit the floor and I screwed up my face in pain, writhing and groaning against the ground.

"......"

I heard Kahron rise from the bed. He went somewhere and lit a lamp.

The room flooded with light, and my sorry state was revealed to the world: lying on the floor, knees clutched, wearing a shirt torn open to the chest. The flush of earlier had vanished entirely from Kahron's expression. He looked at me, utterly blank.

"Is this your thing?"

Are there people with this particular thing? I shot back with tears streaming down my face.

"Hic—no, it's not."

Once the crying started, there was no stopping it—tears ran in rivulets. After the frightening, disorienting, completely unnameable experience, and now a bruised knee on top of it, a wave of pure wretchedness came crashing through me.

Kahron came closer and crouched down in front of me. The look on his face was plainly pitying.

"I just—hic—I hadn't seen you, it's been so long, hic—and I was anxious, and I missed—I missed—"

The feelings I'd been carrying poured out in no particular order. I couldn't tell myself whether it was words or crying, so Kahron must have understood even less. I wept at that fact alone, beating the floor with my fist.

"Hey."

"Huuunh. Hnng."

"......Maylin."

"Hic. What."

He stared at me in disbelief—I'd only managed to respond after he said my name—but let it go. A sigh, and then he took my arm and hauled me to my feet. He lifted a grown woman with one hand and made it look effortless.

"There's a black market opening in two days."

"......"

"Are you going?"

My eyes went wide. The black market. I'd been thinking I'd have to track one down, after failing to find the herbs in the forest.

I hadn't imagined Kahron—who I'd assumed only cared about accompanying me through dangerous places like the forest—would have gone and found information about a black market on his own.

"Yes! Let's go!"

I hadn't known I was this simple a creature. Well—I'd known, but not to quite this degree. The wretchedness evaporated in an instant. I seized Kahron's arm and started firing off questions.

"Where should we meet in two days? Same time as now, probably? What should we wear? I heard you need black clothes to get in..."

I was recalling what I'd read in the original novel when Kahron, having shaken my grip loose, pulled something from the wardrobe and tossed it over. A black robe.

"Oh—you want me to wear this? This would definitely work."

"Don't you need it now, too."

At that I blinked, and looked down at myself.

My pale nipples were fully, unambiguously on display through the torn fabric. I felt my face go scarlet and threw on the robe with frantic haste. It was enough to cover everything.

"If you're not doing more, go."

Kahron waved a dismissive hand and lay back on the bed. By more, he clearly meant what he'd been doing earlier. If we were going further than that, what exactly—I chased the sprawling thought away and gathered my dress from where it had fallen near the door.

Behind me, Kahron said one last thing.

"Two days. Same time. The back gate."

The castle had a back gate, separate from the main entrance, for the servants' use.

"Understood."

I was about to open the door and leave when something made me turn back. Kahron lay on the bed with one arm across his forehead. I hoped his head wasn't hurting again. Worry moved through me. My mouth opened—and what came out was something else entirely.

"I'll put the lamp out before I go."

I turned off the lamp he'd lit, and only then stepped out into the darkness of the room.

The night lay deep all around me, and sneaking out of the knights' quarters felt profoundly strange. I glanced in the direction Eifel had disappeared toward, but she didn't appear. She'd either already gone back, or was still in that room.

'...I should have stayed a little longer.'

There was something I'd wanted to ask Kahron. What are we to each other.

But asking that would almost certainly earn me genuine ridicule for once, so I'd stopped myself. Something told me I'd feel the sting of it.

Slap!

The blow to my back nearly knocked me out on the spot. Eifel, hand stinging with evident satisfaction, grinned wickedly and asked:

"How was last night?"

We were hanging flower arrangements in the banquet hall. Busy work, but the head maid was busy elsewhere too, which made it easy to whisper among ourselves. The memory of last night made my thoughts go sideways. I redirected, with effort.

"H-how was yours?"

"Me? Hehehe."

Eifel went pink to her cheeks like she couldn't believe I'd even asked. She glanced around, confirmed no one was paying attention to us, and leaned in.

"Last night was genuinely the best. It was like the early days all over again."

I didn't ask what exactly had been the best. I had a fairly good idea.

"He was so sweet. Said next time he'd sneak to my room himself. Does he think I have a room to myself, like him? I told him absolutely not."

"Sounds like a good time."

"And you? He was really into it, right?"

Kahron? Really into it? He'd seemed somewhat worked up when he was—handling me—but aside from that, he'd been exactly as he always was. Just as indifferent, in other words.

Still, the fact that he'd found information about the black market suggested he wasn't entirely indifferent—though that was more likely about our arrangement than anything to do with me. He simply wanted to cure his Madness.

But wasn't I the same? My whole goal was to break the binding contract and leave this county, and yet here I was, feeling hurt by his indifference. The one who was strange here was me.

"...No?"

My failure to answer immediately made Eifel backpedal awkwardly.

"I don't know if he was into it or not..."

At my uncertain answer, Eifel patted my shoulder.

"What man wouldn't be delighted to have a woman like you sneak in in the middle of the night? If it were me, I'd be down on my knees thanking the gods."

Quite the compliment. Eifel pushed further, actively encouraging.

"If you decide it's not working, go find yourself another man. It's not like red-haired men only exist in this castle, is it? I have a cousin with red hair. He's still young, but."

Perhaps because I'd approached both Seyron and Kahron, Eifel seemed to have concluded I had a deep preference for red hair. I was contemplating how to correct this when the head maid came walking toward us. Eifel let out a small, startled sound.

"Quick, look like we're working!"

We scattered and busied ourselves moving decorations. The head maid strode over and stopped in front of me.

"Maylin. You're done here—go to the study."

"The study? We just cleaned it not long ago..."

"Do as you're told!"

A sharp order, same as always. But the head maid's expression was somehow off. Complicated, was the word for it.

I shrugged at Eifel's worried look and headed for the study. I couldn't understand why I was being sent to clean it again, but since that was how it was, I figured I'd at least sneak in some reading along the way.

But when I arrived at the study, Joel was inside waiting for me.

"Maylin. Come in."

"......"

I was seized by a powerful urge to turn around and flee through the door I'd just opened. Would I be punished for contempt toward a noble if I actually did? If the punishment were release from the contract, I'd run without a second thought—but it probably wasn't, so I held myself in place.

"Work's been tough lately, hasn't it? I'm sorry. This party has to happen."

Thinking back to what had happened at the last party made this one feel no more welcome—but throwing parties was strictly noble business, and my opinion didn't enter into it. I answered as a maid should.

"Not at all. It's my work."

"......"

Joel studied me with an unreadable expression. The gaze was oddly observant, like he was taking notes, and it put me on edge. He smiled, pleasantly.

"You really have changed a little. Maylin."

I'd noticed it before, but he clearly knew what the original Maylin had been like at work. Something flinched inside me, but I covered it with a carefully neutral apology.

"I think I was far too presumptuous before... I'm sorry if that's how you found me, my lord."

I bowed my head low, and Joel was visibly taken aback. He reached toward my shoulder and then stopped himself—both hands raised, hovering—as if he couldn't quite bring himself to touch me. If he'd actually touched me, I would have shuddered straight down to my bones.

"Presumptuous? Don't say that. No one thinks so."

I wished the Count and Countess thought otherwise. Joel, it seemed, had a particular weakness for anything that looked like sadness.

"I asked you here to give you a little rest. Not to make you apologize."

'Right. Very restful, with you standing there.'

His consideration was genuine enough. But this was also the person who had eventually let Maylin be killed by his own parents—and he had a political match lined up to boot.

If you were going to play with her, why be this kind about it. Anger rose in me like I was the one who'd been betrayed.