YMPDKMA Chapter 21

I knew Rupert hadn't destroyed Bellua yet. That was why I was here—to prevent that future. Of course I knew. I was a coward without the resolve or confidence to change his nature, desperately hoping the bloody storm would simply pass over Bellua and leave us untouched.

Maybe he hadn't even thought of touching Bellua yet. He was young. Weak. But that possibility left no footprint on my hatred.

It couldn't be helped. He was my absolute tormentor—unfair as it was, there was nothing to be done. Just as he'd ignored my grievances, I'd ignore his. Not that Rupert would feel wronged by someone like me hating him.

Rupert was both perpetrator and the only person who could prevent Bellua's fall. It would be easier if he died from nightmares, but even without my help, he'd survive. His tenacious life force filled me with dry disgust.

If only some disaster would strike and kill him without harming me.

I looked at the young boy who couldn't even breathe properly and thought such cruel things. Tori grabbed my hand. Did she think I'd frozen in shock?

"La, Lariette."

"I'm just a bit startled. How long has he been like this?"

"He's had nightmares before, but this is the first time with a fever this high, unable to breathe."

At Tori's words, I placed my hand on Rupert's sweat-soaked forehead. Hot. I crushed the medicinal herbs I'd brought and rubbed them between my palms, then slowly spread them on his forehead. At my touch, Rupert's unfocused eyes began to find light. He forced his eyelids open and recognized my face.

His eyes widened—he'd realized I wasn't Tori. He seemed displeased to have my hand on his forehead, but his body wouldn't obey him, so he only bit his lip. I noticed Rupert was uncomfortable showing me his weakness. So I examined him more carefully, my eyes full of feigned concern, as if I knew nothing.

"Your Highness, it's Lariette. Are you all right? Should I call the physician?"

"Get… out."

I couldn't tell if he was speaking from within his dream or to me. His eyes seemed focused on me, but that wasn't my problem. I only needed to play the loyal maid, frantic over Her Highness's sudden illness.

His fever was burning, but not enough to kill him. He wasn't the kind of monster who'd die from something like this anyway. I kept rubbing herbs on his forehead, pretending ignorance. They were meant to be swallowed, actually.

"It's fever medicine. My mother gave it to me, but I'm not sure if this is the right way to use it. I'm sorry."

Rupert couldn't scold me as I apologized tearfully. Only after he managed to move his neck and push my hand away did I open the pouch containing the medicine. I read the instructions on the paper inside very, very slowly, then clapped my hands as if I'd just understood and shoved the herbs I'd been rubbing on his forehead into his mouth.

"Your Highness, the fever medicine is meant to be swallowed. Chew and swallow it."

At my words, Rupert spat out the precious herbs. Do you know how expensive these are?! I wanted to scream, but instead I picked the herbs off his pillow and forced them back into his mouth. Rupert's face hardened—not from pain but from irritation at me—but expensive was expensive.

"You little—"

"I can't imagine what kind of nightmare would make you sweat and fever like this."

"I said… get out…! Tori!"

Rupert called for Tori in a raspy voice. I stopped Tori from rushing to him and asked her to bring water. She hesitated, looking between me and Rupert, then hurried out of the room.

"Are you worried I poisoned you?"

I sighed, watching him hold the herbs in his mouth without swallowing. Then I made a show of dumping the remaining herbs in my hand into my own mouth and swallowing.

"See? I ate them too."

Only after watching me swallow did Rupert slowly chew and swallow the herbs. Such a bundle of distrust. My heart grew anxious, realizing he didn't trust me even a fingernail's worth. I looked at him—too weak to push my hand away from his forehead again—and smiled faintly.

"You don't need to be embarrassed about showing me your weakness."

"……"

"It's not pathetic. I have nightmares too, sometimes."

Even though mentally I was already a nineteen-year-old adult. The dream where you dragged Rehan and Father away. That vivid nightmare. That's why I desperately wanted Rupert to remember me as the person who helped him escape his nightmares. Because then that nightmare wouldn't become reality.

The medicine worked fast—expensive things always did. Rupert calmed quickly. He swallowed the sleeping pill I offered along with the water Tori brought, then lay still as I wiped his forehead with a damp cloth. His long, thick lashes curved down—pretty enough that anyone would believe he was a girl. That's how he'd hidden his gender until fifteen.

"Feeling better?"

"……"

"It's expensive, you know. Champagne Pharmaceuticals fever medicine."

I bragged to him though he didn't answer. At my words, Rupert's neat brow furrowed and one eye opened in a triangular squint.

"It's just expensive, that's all."

His features were each beautiful as if a master craftsman had poured his soul into creating them—but that look in his eyes belonged to a back-alley thug. I lowered my gaze under his fierce stare and mumbled timidly.

Soon he was breathing softly, evenly, fallen into sleep. The deep sleep he'd craved so long. I stayed where I was, watching him lie still as a corpse.

"Tori, go sleep. I'll watch him tonight."

"No, I couldn't ask you to do that."

"Ask me to do what? This is serving His Highness. I'm his maid too."

"But His Highness doesn't usually let anyone stay near him at night…"

"Tonight he has no choice."

Even at my firm tone, Tori hesitated. She couldn't hide how tired she was. I smiled and took her hand.

"You're sleepy, aren't you? It's all right to go."

"Then I'll come relieve you at dawn."

Tori yawned, mouth wide open—she really was exhausted. She stood slowly and bowed deeply toward the sleeping Rupert, though he couldn't possibly see her. Tori never followed palace etiquette properly, but she was always so good about bowing.

When she left, only silence remained. Rupert's thin breathing spread evenly through the deathly quiet room. I stared at his pale face without expression. I was aware that my eyes held a cold contempt unsuitable for looking at a child, but I didn't care to fix it. No one was watching.

He distrusted me. If we put Rupert and me on the same scale, he was the one who couldn't be trusted. Yet he didn't trust me at all. Even in his confused state, Rupert had tried not to take the medicine I gave him. He probably didn't think I was the Imperial Consort's person, but his bone-deep distrust remained.

Why?

The answer came without needing to think. Because he didn't trust Bellua, my backing—didn't trust my father. From Rupert's anxious position, maybe it was natural.

Father held a secret that could destroy even Rupert's fragile, barely-there standing. I had no idea how Father, who rarely set foot in the capital, knew the imperial family's most hidden secret. It wasn't even a particularly useful secret to know.

Father wasn't skilled at scheming and manipulation—such a heavy secret would only be a burden to him. If it were a secret that could be exploited, Arnulf wouldn't have run his mouth about it so carelessly.

Did Aunt Amelia know about this? Was that why she thought Grand Duke Ventibolt would become king and became his concubine? My head spun uselessly as I buried my face in Rupert's bed. I needed to see Father. No—Father had known about this and stayed silent. I needed to see Aunt first.

This was too much for the head of a hot-tempered nineteen-year-old girl raised in the provinces, not even in a major city. I'd never navigated political circles, never even helped manage Bellua's estate. In the end, all I could think to do was bet everything on Rupert. But all I got in return was his distrust, and it made me want to scream with frustration.

Time was running out, so why wouldn't he trust me? Please trust me. Please.

Maybe my impatience made Rupert suspect me more, but I felt my mind drying up as time rushed past. While he distrusted me, I trusted him completely. Without a shadow of doubt, I believed wholly that if left alone, he would destroy me and Bellua.

"Trust me, Your Highness."

No answer came. Of course not. He was deeply asleep.

"I won't betray you."

At least not while you hold power.