YMPDKMA Chapter 25

Only then did I realize I'd done something terrible to him. He must have been shocked. Father and Mother were adults, so they might understand my thoughtless running away and indulgence as adolescent rebellion, but young Rehan couldn't have. I grabbed Rehan's hands, not knowing what to do with myself in my guilt.

"I'm sorry."

"......"

At my quick apology, he had no answer. I hugged Rehan tightly as he wheezed.

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I was thoughtless. I'll contact you regularly, I'm sorry."

"No. I apologize for raising my voice."

I lost words at Rehan's polite apology. A little brother this good would truly be hard to find.

Thankfully, Rehan calmed down quickly. I laughed at his gaze settling calmly as if he'd never been excited. Even after traveling back through time, my brother remained unchanged like Bellua's oldest ancient tree. Such consistent composure.

Only after facing Rehan did I truly feel the reality of the time I'd returned to. The entrance ceremony I couldn't attend, Rehan's expressions I hadn't known—they reminded me of everything I'd resolved to protect.

The relief I'd felt when I first returned to that winter day as a twelve-year-old and found Rehan settled heavily in my chest like a stone. He was my only pillar supporting me as I floundered in anxiety about an unknowable future. The tension that had been gnawing at my mind knowingly or unknowingly loosened a bit.

Rupert still didn't trust me, and I had no idea what I should do to earn his trust, but just reconfirming my ultimate goal raised small sparks of confidence. The responsibility of having people to protect was burdensome and ached. A heavy load, but not a painful one. I knew how much life could become abundant just by having my precious people remaining.

As surrounding gazes gathered on us, Rehan tried to drag me away from the school even though the entrance ceremony was still in progress. I forcibly stopped him. Even when I said I'd officially received permission to go out today and had plenty of time, he stubbornly insisted he wouldn't return to the entrance ceremony.

"Rehan!"

When I raised my eyebrows, playing the older sister role for the first time in ages, he finally moved his feet slowly. Treating a new cadet skipping the entrance ceremony so lightly.

In my memory, he'd started seriously rebelling against the military academy's strict discipline and regulations around age fourteen, but the seeds of it were already showing. I clicked my tongue, anticipating or rather reminiscing about adolescent Rehan who'd go astray without restraint. I'd need to know the trigger for his rebellion to guide or prevent it. I felt ashamed that I'd failed in my role as a sister by not knowing the reason.

While Rehan grabbed hold of me and poured out questions—how's palace life, are you well, is anything hurting you—like he was my older brother, the entrance ceremony had already progressed quite far. The final ritual had the upperclassmen line up the new cadets and place caps, part of the uniform, on their heads.

I frowned, spotting Rehan reluctantly returning and being grabbed by a large-built cadet. The cadet was a man with an honest impression and broad shoulders. Perhaps because of the uniform that looked good on anyone, he was quite my type.

He was pointing his finger at my brother as if scolding him. Rehan, who'd been staring blankly at him, didn't back down and bent the man's finger. I gaped, wondering if that was acceptable when I knew the discipline between seniors and juniors was quite strict. The cadet, whose finger had been bent painfully enough to twist his face viciously, also looked extremely shocked. Not knowing the usual relationship between him and Rehan, I grew anxious.

Had the incident earlier caused problems?

While I worried and stamped my feet, the cadet, who'd turned red and blue, raised his hand high. I was too far from them to hear any sound, but I heard a thump like a hallucination. He'd hit him.

That pig-like bastard hit my brother!

To exaggerate a bit, he flicked Rehan on the head with a fist as big as my face. I glared at the man who had plummeted from my ideal type to pig bastard in an instant, huffing through my nose. The cadet who'd struck Rehan looked up at me, noticing how terrifying my gaze must have been. He discovered my hardened face and smiled awkwardly.

You're smiling? That pig-faced bastard dares hit my little brother and smiles?

I couldn't believe it and glared at him even harder. He patted Rehan's chestnut-shaped head—the very head he'd just flicked—then roughly plopped his cap back on. Rehan straightened his sliding cap and looked back at me with puzzled eyes. He smiled faintly and waved at me.

He seemed fine, but I couldn't relax. No matter how much this was a military academy, violence between cadets wasn't exactly a minor issue, was it? I didn't like an environment where upperclassmen could freely smack freshmen on the head just because of their seniority.

Rehan was holding the daffodil bouquet I'd given him. Looking around, he was the only new cadet with flowers, but thankfully Rehan didn't seem embarrassed. When the senior cadet representative finished his congratulatory speech, Rehan hurried back to me. The moment he stood before me, I interrogated him.

"Who's that? Why did he hit you?"

"That's Cadet Bully, my direct senior. That much is normal here, so please don't worry."

"How can I not worry if violence like that is commonplace?"

"No. I talked back to him first. That's why."

"Then why did you talk back!"

My voice rose, but Rehan just laughed it off. He made a deflating sound and covered his eyes with his hand. When he laughed, he always covered his eyes instead of his mouth. That small habit came from a mean-spirited comment I'd made when Rehan was younger.

The day Mother scolded me for laughing too loudly—unladylike, she'd said—I'd pointlessly picked on Rehan, saying men should laugh heartily without covering their mouths. Rehan had lowered the hand covering his mouth at that ridiculous complaint. He'd accepted my childish tantrum like an adult.

Rehan hadn't covered his mouth when laughing since that day. I realized this fact far too late. From Rehan's false smile, meant to reassure me as I clung to him sobbing on the day he was dragged away with Father. Rehan hadn't been able to cover his trembling lips out of habit.

Rehan died at seventeen. Caught up in the interests between Bellua and the Imperial Family—interests even I hadn't fully grasped yet—simply because he was the eldest son, even before me. He never even became an adult, unlike me. I renewed my vow. I would make certain he lived to adulthood.

"Give it here."

He took the sapling I was holding and reached for my bag.

"It's not heavy at all."

"It doesn't look good."

Admittedly, a woman carrying luggage alone with a man standing beside her wasn't an acceptable picture in noble society. Though servants would carry all the luggage before it even reached a male noble anyway.

But Rehan was too young to be bothered with such etiquette. His polite, serious face was so amusing I burst out laughing.

"What? Are you a knight?"

"Even squires are knights."

"Such big words when you haven't even been dubbed yet."

I wondered when Rehan had started observing such trivial manners, but since he'd always been a well-mannered child, I figured it was natural and handed over the luggage.

"Tell me about yourself. How have you been?"

"Yes."

Rehan's polite but dry answer left me fumbling.

What else should I ask?

Rehan wasn't talkative, and I wasn't particularly eloquent either. I felt awkward around my brother after so long apart. Truth was, I didn't know Rehan well at this age. After entering the military academy, Rehan hadn't shown his face for two full years. And after that, he'd avoided me obsessively.

"Is the food good?"

"Yes."

Rehan's lips curved up, as if my question amused him.

"Was training difficult?"

"Manageable."

"Did you make many friends?"

"Not many."

I grinned at Rehan's honest answer. Rehan, who'd been staring at my smiling face, walked to a nearby bench and spread his coat.

"Please sit."

"Wear that. You're cold."

"It's midsummer."

Now that I thought about it, that thick uniform coat probably was hot under this blazing sun. I checked Rehan's forehead beaded with sweat and promptly sat on the coat. I liked being fastidious, as befitted a Belnerny noble.

"Are Mother and Father worried about me?"

"Yes."

Rehan answered without hesitation, then let out a deep sigh. His reproachful look—treating me like a younger sister instead of his elder—made me pout.

"I had my reasons for..."

"Would someone with reasons leave home so recklessly?"

Rehan scolded me outright. Honestly, I had no excuse. I avoided Rehan's eyes and lowered my head.

"I can't say now, but there are circumstances."

"I know."

"...What?"

"You're not the type to act thoughtlessly."