TMWDS Chapter 35

Erich was family of House Richter, so dancing with him wouldn't look at all out of place.

But she'd made a promise to Leroy, and Ionna shook her head.

"No. I'd rather go to the terrace."

Erich eyed her with suspicion but silently led her there regardless.

Should she try to slip away again, he seemed prepared to make a nuisance of himself, so Ionna obediently followed behind him.

Erich led her to a spot overlooking the back gardens, where two large pillars jutted out on either side, making it a good place to escape prying eyes.

The moment the curtain closed, Erich stepped in close and asked,

"Have you lost your mind?"

"Hm?"

"Tell me—are you really going to marry him? Even giving up your position?"

"……I don't know why you're so angry, but calm down first."

As she answered, Ionna found herself feeling rather as though she'd become Yonas. She was replicating, almost exactly, the attitude Yonas had shown toward Yulia.

In truth, Ionna genuinely didn't understand why Erich was so furious with her.

Whether she married or quit her position—what business was it of his, in the end?

Erich glared at her and said,

"Don't marry."

"That's not a request worth answering."

"Because it's the Crown Prince's order?"

"……Yes."

Ionna, never confident in her lies, avoided his eyes and let her words trail off.

Dying once and coming back with her heart changed, and saying it with a straight face? That would just sound like bullshit.

More than that, it would spell disaster if word ever reached the Crown Prince's ears that she was pursuing this marriage for other purposes entirely.

"Ha. Just how far do you intend to grovel?"

A bitter laugh broke from Erich.

He looked at Ionna with cold eyes and went on,

"A knight showing loyalty to her liege. Fine, I can understand that much. But if you're going to throw away your very title as a knight over some order like that, what exactly is left of you? Is that what you wanted—to become some knife-swinging thug with no conviction, no honor?"

When he'd first heard about the marriage talks between Ionna and the Duke, Erich had thought it nothing but idle rumor. Ionna had never once appeared publicly alongside the Duke.

And yet, of all things, she'd bring that man to a ball hosted by his own family.

Worse, the two of them had looked genuinely close. As if they truly were about to be married.

"I at least thought…… that your love for the sword was real. Even if you've been wasting that talent in the strangest of ways."

Finishing this, Erich clenched his jaw.

A shallow sigh escaped Ionna as she watched him.

It seemed he believed she'd decided to retire because of Rihardt's order.

She could see how he might misunderstand it that way—but seeing the betrayal written plainly on his face, an unexpected guilt began to rise in her.

Ionna already owed Erich a debt of the heart.

Even if it was, in a sense, an event that no longer existed, he had once fought beside her, back to back—didn't she owe her old comrade-in-arms at least the truth of why she was leaving?

Having settled her thoughts, Ionna spoke, though reluctance still showed on her face.

"There's something you're misunderstanding here."

"……"

"First—His Highness Rihardt never ordered me to give up my post. In fact, he still believes I'll continue serving as I always have. So set aside any fantasy that I lost my position on his order."

She couldn't tell whether he believed her words or doubted them, but in any case, Erich said nothing further.

Ionna let her weight sink against the railing, her body loosening.

Clasping both hands together in front of her thighs, she continued,

"And second—the reason I've decided to retire is……"

"……"

"Honestly, isn't the Imperial Knights only somewhere you can hold out while you're young? It's not the kind of place you can work at for the long haul. The pay is good, but they work you hard enough to match it—easy to ruin your body."

Erich bit his lip, unable to deny it.

Even the commander screamed daily under the crushing workload—you could say there was no future within the Order, no matter how far you climbed.

No, to put it more precisely—there was no future with an evening to call your own.

Turning her head to the right, Ionna gazed absently at the ornate exterior decoration as she finished her thought.

"It's just that…… I've circled the same spot for so long, I suppose. I wanted to try things I never got to do before. That's all it is."

At Ionna's roundabout explanation, Erich suddenly recalled the conversation he'd had with Saschia.

'Honestly, I get how she feels.'

It had been the day Ionna had abruptly announced her retirement.

When Erich had gone to find Saschia afterward and asked her to explain, she'd thought it over at length before finally saying:

'We all know how much Ionna suffered in that shithole of a household. But marriage is about building a new family. If Ionna's saying she finally wants a proper family this time, what right do we have to stand in the way? All we can do is wish her well.'

'Isn't this a marriage where she can't possibly hope for that in the first place? Which is exactly why there's no reason for her to quit her job over something like that!'

'No, quitting is unavoidable. She can't be a proper wife to a duke while still working under the Crown Prince.'

'The Crown Prince might have secretly ordered her to quit.'

'Well, if that's the case, then it's even less something we can touch. And she'd probably be satisfied with that too. It's 'that' Crown Prince's order, after all—isn't it?'

Erich gritted his teeth. It was some time before he finally managed to ask,

'So what about us, then? What about the ones being left behind?'

Saschia had looked into his wavering eyes, let out a long sigh, and said,

'Erich, let's be honest with each other. I'm upset too, and sorry about it, obviously. Why wouldn't I be. But it never occurred to me to actually try to stop the marriage itself.'

'……'

'There are really only two reasons anyone gets desperate to stop someone else's marriage. Jealous they landed such a good spouse, or they just don't want that person to marry at all. Either way, if you think about it, it all comes down to jealousy. Erich—you don't want to marry the Duke and climb the social ladder yourself, do you?'

'How could that possibly be it?!'

'Then I suppose you just don't want Ionna to marry.'

Having reached her tidy conclusion, Saschia sent him packing before he could even manage a response.

Leaving the office that day, Erich had inwardly denied and scoffed at what she'd said.

Even now, standing face to face with Ionna herself, his thinking hadn't changed one bit.

Jealousy? As if.

He simply objected to a superior officer abandoning her subordinates and her division without a shred of responsibility, that was all.

And it was true—she really was a terrible officer to serve under.

She never once cared what trouble her subordinates found themselves in, so long as it meant following the Crown Prince's orders, and—infuriatingly—she couldn't even be criticized for it, because she rolled around in that same filthy manure right alongside them.

Calling herself an Imperial Knight while committing assassinations, torture, and every other kind of vile business as a matter of course, all without ever taking a single extra coin as payment for it.

A contradictory sort of person.

She took on every filthy job a corrupt official might do, and yet never once abused her power for her own gain.

She'd always remained aloof, somehow, right there in the mud.

It made a certain kind of sense, when he thought about it. She had no interest in others—and even less interest in herself.

So that was it. That was why he'd wondered—whether the day would ever come that she'd recognize him as a comrade. Whether it was even possible to become someone who mattered to her, if not as much as the Crown Prince, then at least something.

He'd always been waiting, with that thought in mind, for her to change……

'Wanted to try something she never got to do before? Damn it—what the hell is that supposed to mean?'

He searched her eyes as if seeking an answer.

But as always, not the faintest ripple showed in her crimson eyes.

As though abandoning them meant nothing to her at all.

Erich clenched his jaw.

He'd always wanted Ionna to let go of Rihardt—but not like this. Not this kind of change. This wasn't the transformation he'd wanted.

"I don't understand. Explain it to me so I actually understand."